​A "Shy Person’s" Guide to Public Speaking

Hello and welcome to the podcast. Today is going to be a part 5, Part 6, Part 7. I don't know, I've locked out and it's a continuation of this series where we were talking about podcasting, content marketing, establishing a personal brand and growing your sales. So if you've listened to any of those earlier episodes where I was talking about someone who reached out to me, a listener of the podcast, we call him Shinarambo.

I can't remember why I called him Shinarambo, but thinking about it now, it's not a flattering name, but I didn't mean any insult by the way. So I was talking about Shinarambo, who he and his partners are going to be involved in the financial sector, in wealth advisory, and they're coming up with this idea for a podcast, or rather they have come up with an idea for a podcast. They've actually launched it as at the time Shinarambo and I had this conversation, they had already dropped two episodes.

So I figured that I'll come over here on the podcast and then share some of the conversations that I've been having with Shinarambo and some of the thoughts arising from those discussions. Just in case there's anybody listening to this podcast who is thinking of a content marketing strategy, particularly if they want to do long form blogging or podcasting and using it as a tool to establish a personal brand. Sorry, establish a personal brand and then to grow their sales.

So I've already made a couple of episodes, multiple parts already. So that's the reason why I'm saying, I'm not sure if this is part 5 or part 6 or about 7 or about 8:00. But sure, if you listen to earlier ones and, and you remember the Shinarambo episodes, this is a continuation of the Shinarambo episodes. And now I want to share a couple of things that we spoke about regarding personal branding and visuals because Shinarambo put his face in the podcast art.

So this these are just some of the things we spoke about and I think some more things that you ought to take to heart if you are going to start a podcast to promote your business just like he has. For those of you who are just discovering the podcast, my name is Tavishima Ayedin. I'm a former lawyer turned business consultant. Excuse me. And everyday I come here, I give you guys business goodness. We talk about solving business problems because we want our businesses to grow.

We want them to thrive and we try and figure out how to make more money, how to talk to more people, how to convert more people, how to get people to buy again and again, and how to get people to refer their friends and their family members to us so that we can keep making more money. MMM, make more money. So that's what we do over here on the podcast. Now, if you'd like to get in touch, just like Shino Rambo did, then the number to call is 08064 662140.

You can call, you can send me a text message or a WhatsApp message. Now, I'm not against giving people free advice. So if you want the benefit of free advice, just make sure you say so clearly in the first message, in the first outreach. We'll schedule a time and then we'll have a chat, but I will answer one question only then. If you want us to do a deep dive, if you want me to look at your podcasting strategy, if you want me to help you figure out how you're going to use your podcast for lead generation or how you're going to convert when people start reaching out to you from the podcast, then what we need to do is we need to set aside time for a proper consultation, the different consultation packages available.

You can book consultation packages for a month or a quarter or a week, maybe even hourly. And then of course, you know, depending on how much we're doing or how little you know, that would affect the fee as well. But bottom line, there's something for everyone. So if you're a high class person, you have so much money and you want to share some of that money with me, by all means, reach out. I'll I'll do my best to sort you out.

If you're a little tight for cash, no problem. We can make it happen with the hourly thing. If you're extremely broke, as you know your money, no problem. It's not a problem. You just tell me you want free advice. We'll answer one question only, and I'll do my best to make sure that I deliver value because just like I said in the previous episode, apart from one lady who is my ex, everybody else who has come across me has said that they have gotten value from me.

Excuse me. But then if you ask this, my ex, she would say that, you know, meeting me was a mistake and it was a waste of her time. But everybody else, yeah, they say they got value from from meeting me and interacting with me. So personal branding and visuals. Now, like I said, Shinrambo put his face in the podcast AT and it was one of the things I tackled a mom on. So I asked him why did you put your face there? And the response was this.

He said he put his face on the podcast AT because he was trying to deal with the fear of putting himself out there. And I understand because for some of us, when we start this journey, you know, a little shy and you know, we all, I put it, we're a little shy. So sometimes some people try to, to get rid of all that fear by just throwing themselves out into the deep end. And I think this is what Sheena Humble was doing.

So by putting his face out there, the fear was now going to be gone. And then he was also doing that because I was trying to create a personal brand. Oh, by the way, apologies for all the noise in the background because never has been terrible in this estate and not everybody has inverter or solar. So my neighbors who still use generators are all blasting their generators. So that's what the extra noise is probably coming through the background because it's a late night recording and I'm doing this at home.

So Shinarambo now him putting his face on the podcast that he's just trying to build a personal brand. He's also trying to deal with the fear of putting his face out there. OK, now here are some of the issues arising, some of the matters arising. OK, so Shonambo is scared of putting himself out there. OK, good, good. In that case, starting the podcast is already a good step, is already a step in the right direction. Because for people who are what's the word, reclusive or shy or whatever, you know, even putting your voice out there,

not talk of putting your face, even that is scary enough. So Shin Rambo has made a very good step. But however, as as the president of the Shy People's Association of Nigeria, by the way, that body doesn't exist. I just made it up. But I just want to let you know that I am one of you. I'm incredibly self-conscious, incredibly so. You'll be shocked. You say how you're on the podcast, you're on the radio show, you talk on stages, blah,

blah, blah. Yes, I'm incredibly self-conscious. So I'm one of you. So you can how I put it, I'm talking from an insider perspective. Now, for those of you who are scared of putting yourself out there, there is only one way to stop being nervous and it's not to put your face out there or not to put your voice out there. If you want to stop being nervous every time you're on a mic, every time you're on stage, every time you're on a networking session, every time you are, you know, whatever it is that you're doing, stop focusing on yourself.

I repeat, for those of us who are shy, for those of us who are self-conscious, we do not help ourselves the more we focus on ourselves. Let me say one more time, because some of you didn't catch it, and also because for those of us who are shy people, try and get us to snap out of it by telling us to stand a certain way or talk a certain way or walk a certain way or pose a certain way. And you're taking this advice and you're wondering why you feel more more stifled, more crippled.

It's because you're already self-conscious and then you're doing things that are putting the spotlight on yourself. Don't focus on yourself, focus on the audience. That's the reason why I'm not stammering here, because I'm not focusing on myself. I don't care if I'm using the right words. I don't care if I cough, I don't care if I stammer. Am I saying stuff that you need to hear? That's all. It's my primary motive. That's the reason why I can show up and come correct.

Some of you say hi guy, you get confidence. No, no, be confidence. Like I'm tired, I'm done. I can't keep looking at myself. Am I sounding correct? Am I looking correct? Am I standing correct? Am I talking right like I'm done? I'm tired of all that BS. So right now I just show up and my focus only is OK. This guy dies in front of me. This babe dies in front of me. What does he need to hear? What does she need to hear?

What do I need to pass across? What does it look like they need to learn? What are the questions that they're asking me? How can I answer that question? That's all. And in doing that, I found freedom. So now I can stand on stages. In primary school, you couldn't, even if you gave me a billionaire, I wouldn't have gotten on stage in primary school. No way. The fact was, once I was at a public event and I've mentioned that story lots of times.

So no need to repeat it again. You know, live on camera, national TV. The poem was supposed to be about Abuja. I fumble my words. Aunt, Auntie and Kem who used to do Tales by Moonlight on national TV. Auntie and Kem, the legend herself. She had to come and elbow me from the stage and then she called Stanley. Stanley was a very good actor. She called Stanley. Stanley is the one that came out, took my slot. I finished everything that day.

I wanted to die. I wanted the ground to open and to swallow me. I say hey on national TV, my 1 moment to shine. I fumble my words. I stammer. I repeat my lines. Then Auntie in camp the legend had to cut my elbow me out of the frame. Then she now introduced Stanley, who was supposed to be my understudy by the way, understudy now became the master. Stanley now took my shine. Now focus on yourself, focus on the audience.

That is the only way that you're going to stop this fear of putting yourself out there. So focus on the audience. Who is the audience? What do they need to hear? What feedback are they giving me? Let me react to that feedback. What question are they asking me? Let me ask. Let me answer that question. Whatever it is, whatever they're giving me, I'm reacting to that and I'm giving them back. So for those of us who are shy,

look, putting yourself on social media because you're trying to break their fear. You're actually making it worse because this was going to happen. You make a nice photo. At least you think the photo is nice. Then you put it up. Then somebody said, oh boy, that's how you take black. And maybe not wondering, I was thinking I'm a, you know, I'm a yellow boy. Why is this guy saying I'm black? Then of course, everybody have different opinions.

Some people say, oh boy, now are you sick? And you'll be thinking that look, now the go gym now I was thinking like my physique is on point. People are saying I'm sick. There's some people will now be saying that you're fat. There's some people will now complain about your branding that you all suit in the picture that you know is native. You normally wear that you suppose we're native. Then they will say that the background color is off or that the lighting is off or that this is this or that is that or it impose.

Well, you post too much. You didn't post enough. If you're scared of putting yourself out there, putting, you know, photos of your face all over social media, yeah, ain't gonna work at all. So whatever it is you want to do, no matter it is how you want to step, when you step, don't focus on yourself, focus on the audience. If every single time I'm on stage, I'm wondering, am I walking upright? Is my zipper open? Are my shoes clean?

Is my belt aligned? Am I using the right words? Am I pronouncing things the right way? What else? Am I using the stage correctly? Am I using body language correctly? All these other things I'll cripple myself. Now, all these other things are important, but Please remember that those things are at advanced techniques. When you're talking on stage, where do you stand? Forward, backward, center, to the left, to the right?

When you're making a point, how do you move? All those things are advanced techniques. But unfortunately, people try to help us. Those of us who are shy, they try to help us by giving us advanced techniques. Why are you giving somebody an advanced technique when the person doesn't even know the preliminaries? Putting yourself on podcast art and making yourself, you know, projecting yourself as the face of a brand and in all of that,

that's that's some pretty advanced stuff. It's not for those of us who are just stepping fresh, stepping you into the limelight. So if you are like Shinarambo, yeah, it's good that you're trying to break the the fear. OK. But putting your face on the podcast, that not necessarily the way. Just focus on responding to the audience. As long as your audience focused, you'll be OK. And then plus, in all the episodes, I've already pointed out how you know, except if you're a supermodel or a very famous person, there's really no point in having your face up there.

It will help. So if President Tinubu decides to start the podcast now, he decides to call the podcast talking with Tinubu, no problem. Teenable means something. People search for teenable. It it it makes sense if he puts his face there, no problem. He's the president, everybody knows him. The thing kind of makes sense. The same reason why Michelle Obama on her own podcast, she put her face out there. She put her name there because the team makes sense in the beginning.

Right now, our face means nothing and our name means nothing. She around, but I'm not trying to put you down. I'm just being real with you. So yes, I have I have a growing audience. I have 4200 and something subscribers on Spotify. But really, really, even though that's impressive, really sit down and you know, reason I'm just just just think I'm on the national stage. Who knows? Who knows who I am. You don't believe me?

You're impressed by this podcast. No problem. The next thing you're chilling one of your guys say, hey, have you heard of Tavishy Mahidi? Just ask and then wait and see. Crickets. That's the response. You will get nothing. Nobody knows me. If you put my face out there, say who be this? And the boy fires, the boy fires morcha. That's all. So my face means nothing. My name means nothing. So let's be real. So you're trying to break the fear.

That's not the way. If you're trying to do brand building, it is not the way your face means nothing, your name means nothing. For now, just keep putting out your content organically. I keep on interacting with the audience. You're going to get the signals that you need to be able to build an effective brand. So for me, this whole thing of I give tactical advice, practical advice, it is not something that I sat down and I dreamt up by myself.

I didn't manufacture it by myself. It is what listeners of the podcast have told me. So when it's time to do a brand consultation and I'm sitting down with a brand specialist, you can see that I have plenty of ammunition to give them that they can use in coming up with my brand because I've just focused on doing the substantive, Abby, this is substantive, very substantial. I've just focused on doing the do I make the podcast and then I

do my consultations from there, from feedback I get from the, the, the, the clients and the other people I interact with. I'm getting all the information that I need to be able to build the brand in quote later on. So yeah, that's it. That's all for today. So if you're like Shinarambo, you're putting your face out there to be brave. It's not necessary. You're trying to be brave. Good. Don't be brave by focusing on yourself.

When you focus on yourself, you cripple yourself. You will always be thinking, are my shoes right? What about my belt? Oh, my stomach was rumbling. Did anybody hear that? Oh, I just farted. I hope nobody can smell that. All my glasses are dirty. Can people, the people notice that? Oh, I didn't brush my teeth after lunch. And now I'm talking on stage. Can anybody smell my breath? If you keep focusing on yourself, you cripple yourself.

So it's not about you, it's about the audience. So that's it. And that's all for today. Thank you very much for listening. Remember, if you want to get in touch, you can call, send me a text message or a WhatsApp message on 08064662140. If you need some help with your content marketing strategy, yeah, reach out. Let's see if we can help. Remember, I'm OK with giving people free advice, so if you want free advice, just say so in the very first message.

We schedule a time to talk and I'll answer one question only for other people. If you want us to do a deep dive then there are different consulting packages available. You can pay for an hour of my time a day, a week, a month or 1/4. So far nobody has booked a year's worth of my time and to be honest I don't even know how that would work anyway. So reach out. I'd love to hear from you all 0806466 2140 Thank you very much for your time and attention.

I will catch you some other time.