Breaking the Ice: Conversation Tips for Business Networking

Hello and welcome to the show. Sorry I have been unavailable this last couple of days and that's because I've had some early morning engagements and that sort of threw off my recording schedule. But the good thing is one of these engagements, in fact the one yesterday, someone had a really interesting solution for the, you know, coughing, wheezing and hacking that I've been going through these past couple of days. And the remedy she said was, I

think hot water mixed with ginger. You grate some ginger and then I think lime and honey or something like that. A funny thing is it's something that my father-in-law and my mother-in-law have been trying to get me to drink for a very long time. But you know how it is now. They say these things. I'm like, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, I'll give it a try and I'll let you know how it goes. But for those of you who believe in the hot water honey ginger lime remedy, this is just to let you know that you guys have lots of disciples all over Nigeria because it seems to be like a common remedy.

So I'll give it a shot and I hope it's going to work because I won't lie, if I'm able to secure this recording thing, it's going to be very inconvenient, you know, coughing over the radio, you know, radio is not like podcasting. So I definitely have to sort this thing out before then. So. OK, yeah. So let's head straight into the topic for today. Today I don't have a topic per SE. I just have a bunch of random thoughts.

Oh, sorry about the noise in the background. I'm sure you guys can tell that I'm not in my recording booth today, so expect to hear some interruptions. So I'd like to start off by giving a listener shout out. So shout out to Nathaniel Kalawali, who reached out to me on WhatsApp, discovered the show on Spotify, and he's been listening for a while. He's currently a student and he's about to transition into a sales and marketing role.

And I told him that I think he's made the right choice. The reason why he's trying to make that transition, excuse me, is because he has figured out that he needs to sell himself and he also needs to sell whatever future enterprise that he gets involved in. And so because of that, I think he's really, excuse me. So because of that, I think he has made the right choice. And for those of you who are at a similar stage of life, you know, you're not quite sure.

You can't go wrong if you start off looking at sales and marketing roles. I'm not saying you have to remain in a long term professional career that is sales and marketing related. I'm just saying that if you start off in one of these roles, you can't go wrong because you're going to have to learn a lot. Like Nathaniel says, you learn how to sell yourself. You learn how to sell the enterprise. So whether you decide to become a business person or a politician, a pastor, whatever it is, is going to come in handy even if you decide to be a teacher.

OK, well, if you decide to be a policeman and, you know, collect money from people on the road, then there's no point in learning sales and marketing related activities. So that's a shout out for today. Nathaniel Kalawale. Today's episode is just going to be some random thoughts with two interactions that I had, one with my son and then another one with a podcast listener who is not Nathaniel Kollawali. This is another podcast listener that I met yesterday.

So just some random thoughts about that. Oh, I forgot to let you guys know what I have on the On the Playlist. So recently listened to Roger Waters. He's a former writer for the band Pink Floyd. It's rock music, but it's much more conceptual stuff, as in, you know, like fancy guitars and fancy lyrics. This one, I definitely agree that this is for nerds only. So if you don't consider yourself a nerd or a geek, you're not really interested in guitar art and those sorts of things, then you shouldn't be listening to this sort of music.

Then I'm also listening to Rolling Stone recently. This one has much more heavier rock riffs, rhythmic guitar stuff. So if you have a father or a relative who was born in the 1940s or 1950s and you've always wondered what these kind of people listen to when they were teenagers, then this is the kind of music you should listen to. Because I, if my guess is correct, you know, people who are born in like 1950 something, by the time you're a teenager,

you know, that'd be like 1966, you know, into maybe like the 70s. So if your old man was born in the 40s or the 50s and you always wondered, you know, what did Popsy listen to when he was a teenager, then you should be listening to this sort of stuff. Because surprisingly in Nigeria at the time, this kind of music was popular. Pink Floyd, Rolling Stone, all these sorts of things. And I know that for a fact because before my father passed,

I had a conversation with him. I think then I was listening to FELLA, and I was listening to Miles Davis and B.B. King. Those are the people I was listening to at the time. And then Popsy was like, OK, you like this stuff, then why not try Pink Floyd? And I was like, so you know, this kind of music. And then we had that conversation. And so, yeah, at the time in Nigeria, this is what teenagers listen to. So this is the stuff on the playlist.

Check it out. Like I said, wifey would say I'm a nerd or I'm a geek. I just think I'm a man of refined taste. If you want to be a man of refined taste just like I am, of course, ladies, you can join as well. If you want to be a woman of refined taste, then try this stuff out. Roger Waters Rolling Stone Rolling Stones. So now on to the random thoughts for today's episode. My son recently went on a school excursion and it was to a radio station.

And, and before they left, I told my son, the older, my older son, I told him, you know, when you get there, I need to try and see so, so, so and so and try and get me the person's business card. And of course, he was nervous about it. And I told him that, look, talking to strangers was hard. But you know, you're a little boy now, you're interested in these sorts of stuff. You're growing up, you're going to be a man soon.

So you have to learn how to do these sorts of things. And it's not that hard. So this is what we're going to do. We have decided that this is the person that you're going to try and meet. We'll see if you can meet with the program's director or someone like that. All you have to do is walk up with the person, give an appropriate greeting, state your intention, ask a couple of questions about what they do. And then the proposal part is where you talk about your father, what your father does.

And then the clothes is you ask for the person's business card. And so we went over it, you know, over and over, just the basic script about how he was going to greet, how he was going to say his intention, the kind of questions to ask to understand what kind of business that the radio station was involved in, and then how he was going to go about getting the person's business card. So for me, I wanted this thing to be a learning opportunity.

Whether my son would be successful in getting the business card or not was not the important thing for me. The important thing was that he goes and in an adult situation, because clearly he's not dealing with children. When you go into a radio station, he would have the experience of having to talk to a stranger, having to talk to an adult and having to carry on a conversation with an adult, a business related conversation with an adult.

So that was my plan. And this was one of those things where, you know, in my own opinion, win or lose, doesn't matter. The experience is the most important thing. And he turned out to have made a very, very, very good impression on the young lady that he spoke to, who turned out to be the head of head of administration. He ended up talking to the head of administration because he asked questions just like I taught him to.

He was able to find out that even though that is a radio station, they have interest in television programming and they also have facilities for podcast recording. And so he was able to figure out some of those things. And unfortunately, the lady didn't have her business cards with her at the time, but she was so impressed by the interaction that she pulled out the sheet of paper and she wrote every single detail that I would have needed to get in touch with her.

And well, she forgot to put her phone number when my son came back with it. And he told me that he was scared during the conversation. But of course, I told him well done and I thanked him for the information and I told him, OK, this is good. And now this is how I'm going to try and use that information. You know, I'm going to the station, I'll speak to this lady and I'll see what I, what I, what business can come up with that.

And so I told my son, well done, only to show up at the radio station the next day. And the lady was in the middle of a meeting. I had to wait for her. She came out and I didn't have to introduce myself and I said, oh, but I'm so, so, so and so. And then I just lifted up the sheet of paper. Immediately she saw it. She was all smiles and so like, oh, so that was your son. Oh, so, so, so and so your son this and that. He was amazing.

He was this and we had really interesting conversation. It turns out that both of our children go into go to the same school. And she was impressed. She said stuff about the kind of children I'm raising and the kind of household I must be running and stuff like that. And I didn't know that she had already spoken to other people after my son left. And so because of what my son did, I was able to get an introduction to the not just the head of administration that was her, I got introductions to the head of programming and also got introductions to the head of operations.

And I was able to discuss some business ideas with them. And, and it was only then that I realized the, the how, how, how do I put it, the quality of work that my son did and the quality of the impression that he made. And so that was a conversation that I had with my son later on. Like, you know, when you went there, were you scared? And he admitted he was scared. But it's something I've been telling my boy all the time.

Now, look, when you're scared, like, don't worry. You know, you're scared. Other people can't see that you are scared. And I told him something that I firmly believe, which is that resolve is our family strength in the Ayedi family, because I've looked at my father, I used to carry himself, you know, my brother, me, excuse me. Some other people might say, you know, we have a good bullshit factor as per like we're afraid,

but we still do it anyway. And so I told him, I look, in this family, resolve is our superpower. So don't worry, you're afraid. People can't see that it's a superpower, so just do it anyway. And I gave him the feedback. You may have been scared, but this woman was severely impressed. So impressed that after you left, she spoke to the head of programming and then she spoke to the head of operations so that when I came in the next day, it was only a matter of,

oh, you're that young man's father. And that was it. And because of what you did, I had open doors. And these are the conversations that I was able to have. And so I told him all that. So I guess the random thought that I have for you guys listening right now, there's a couple of things. One, talking to strangers is hard and it can't be scary, but still, just go ahead inside you. You're scared. People can't see that fear.

Most people are decent people and most people are rooting for you to succeed. So nobody wants you to show up and actually start stammering and this and this and that and that. But by the way, even if you stammer, it's not a problem. There's a boy in my school, Solomon, who used to stammer but because of some of my teachers who are not even professionals, 1 teacher who the music teacher and another teacher used to handle debates.

I don't know how they did it but they took Solomon who used to stammer and you got him singing like an Angel and also got him handling debates. So believe me, I don't know how that works but I'm not trying to say that even if you're that scared that you end up stammering, it's not something that has to hold you back. So it's scary, but just come up with a game plan and you'll be fine. And a simple game plan that you can use.

And this is the reason why I tell most people is this, just do appropriate greeting. After that, state your intention. After that, ask a couple of questions. The question, the questions. I was going to give you the the ammo that you need to make a proposal. And after that you go in for the close. The close is the next step that you want people to do. So in this case like my son's case, appropriate greeting is, you know, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or whatever it is.

You know the intention, I can't remember what the intention that we came up with. But then by asking a couple of questions and figuring out that they were interested in TV and in podcasting, that is what made the alignment. You know, as per my father is a business consultant and he's also a business growth podcaster. You know, can I have your contact details? You know, perhaps there's room for alignment, you know, between both our organizations.

And then you go for the close, you ask for the business card. So The thing is, so long as you have some sort of plan, you will be fine. It's OK to talk to strangers. It's just life. It's just business. So let's, yeah, let's get going then. The another thing that I tried to impart on my boy was just to let him know that I wanted him. I wanted him, his confidence to grow and also wanted him to see that even as a young boy, his efforts can have real world consequences.

And that is something that we ought to know, that the things that we do actually have real world consequences. It's just that most of the time you go and you do something you don't quite know the, there's no way for you to know the domino effect that happened after you left. So the reason why my son knows is because I went back, I had a conversation with all these people and I was able to give him that feedback. But a lot of time your business outreach or your networking effects, you know, things like that, they're having, they're having results.

It's just that you're not in the room and so you can't see those results. So I guess that's the second thing. Your efforts yield real world results, So don't be scared. Come up with a simple game plan. You'll be okay. Don't worry. What you're doing is yielding results, even if you can't see it. And then for those of us who have kids, more than half of you listening to this podcast right now, I think I'm between the ages of, is it 18 to 30

something? So a good chunk of you don't have kids, but when that time comes and you do have kids, remember that everything can be a learning opportunity for children. And I'm really, really glad that in my son's first nursery school, the headmistress, she was able to drum that into my head that, you know, look, you just look at them like they're babies. But everything can be a learning opportunity. And so I'm really glad that my son's headmistress, she and I

had that conversation. So just know now, everything can be a learning opportunity for children. And you don't have to be a business development consultant like me or a sales coach or a podcaster. You can be a medical doctor and still everything is a learning opportunity for kids. If you're a police officer and you like collecting bribes from people on the road, I don't know how that can be a learning opportunity for kids.

But I'm just trying to say that no matter what it is you're involved in can be a learning opportunity for kids. So my father was a civil servant and the communications professional and, and we had lots of interesting conversations around that. He did some construction work selling cement on the side. And we also got to have some really, really interesting conversations around that. Everything can be a learning opportunity for kids.

So for those of you who don't have kids now, when you have children in the future, these are some of the interesting things that you can be looking forward to. So that's it about my son's excursion. And I hope it will inspire some of you guys that even though talking to strangers is difficult, so long as you sit down and have a simple game plan, it's you can make it less scary and the you can increase your chances for success.

So again, the simple framework that I said, by the way, this framework was not original to me. It's not my framework. It's something I discovered many, many years ago listening to Grant Cardone. And this is just a basic script. Give the person an appropriate greeting, then state your intention before you. Now give a proposal and ask them to take the next step. You need to ask a couple of questions because you need to understand who it is that you are talking to.

When you understand who it is that you're talking to and what nature of problems they have or the vision that they're trying to aim for, it is then that you can make a proposal. And then you can now close, which is ask them to take the next step. So if my son got in there, made the appropriate greeting, stated his intentions, asked a couple of questions and then he looked as if there was no room for alignment, then of course there'll be no need for the next step, which is proposal and close.

But luckily there seems to be some alignment. There's a radio station getting ready to migrate into TV, have all the licensing and everything in place. And so there's room for, there's room for some marriage here because my father, business consultant, business growth podcaster, these are the things he's involved with. And you know, he has the skill set that lines with so, so, so and so, so in that case, Madam, can I have your business card so that my father can come and have a conversation with you later?

You know, that's simple. And that's the part of the close. Can I have your business card? That's the close. So greeting, intention, question, proposal, close. Please write it down now. If you don't have any framework, start with this. It'll make your life a lot easy. Greeting, intention, question, proposal, and then close. Then my next random thoughts, I had a live meeting with a podcast listener. Well, it wasn't a meeting with a podcast listener.

I was actually meeting with a business associate. And it turns out that somebody there was a podcast listener and it was kind of a sad conversation for me. Well, it's always a happy thing to meet another podcast listener. But the part that made me sad was because this is someone who used to listen to the podcast but stopped listening because she was now looking for more advanced material. And well, anyway, we still had the conversation, tried to figure out where she is in her business journey.

Hopefully, I was able to give her one or two tips that would help move her business forward. But this is actually the reason why I give up my contact details at the end of the show, because I'm trying to involve you guys into shaping the evolution of the contents that we put out here. So feel free. That's why I give you guys my direct phone number. I mean, when Nathaniel reached out to me on WhatsApp, he was surprised that after I exchanged one or two messages that I

called him back. He said he wasn't expecting it. And another person has told me how he has tried reaching out to influencers as he called them, but it's hard to get the reach of people and blah, blah, blah. So the person was surprised that, you know, me and them were having the phone conversation. But actually it's, it's me. You know, there's no PA, at least for now. You know, maybe in a in 10 years when I'm a big boy, you know,

then my PA will be fielding all my calls. But right now it's me. So send me your questions over WhatsApp, send me your questions over LinkedIn. And let us shape the evolution of the show. That is the only way that the show can grow in accordance in in, you know, in step with the needs that you people have. So if you've been listening to the show, you think there's not enough advanced material or you have specific challenges that you have that are not being addressed by the show, send me your questions.

Send me your concerns. Let me know the things that you guys disagree with. That is the reason why I give my contact details at the end of every single episode. And I've been doing this for several months. So send me your questions over WhatsApp. The phone number is 08064662140. The country code is +234 for those of you who are not Nigerian. And by the way, if it looks like it's an interesting conversation, chances are I'm going to call you back because I

firmly believe it's it's easier to just have a quick two or three minute conversation and make some progress rather than pinging back and forth for the whole day. So maybe if you're one of those people who doesn't like phone calls, then, you know, put it there in the chat that, you know, please don't call me. I don't like phone calls or whatever. So, but send me your questions over WhatsApp. And then for those of you who spend time on LinkedIn like I

do, the name to search for is Tavishima Ayede. I'm the host of the show. Use the link that you're listening to right now. You get the correct spelling of my name. Highlight it, copy it, paste it into LinkedIn. And then you see my handsome face. Well, hands on me if you think you know, I'm your cup of tea, If you're you know, if you like your men yellow and slim and you know all that, then I guess I'm not a cup of tea.

But anyway, just copy paste. You see my face there and let's get this conversation going so that if I run into any of you podcast listeners live, I'm not going to hear again that you guys stop listening because you're looking for more advanced material or that you know, the show has out outpaced your needs or something like that. I mean, what of course, after the interaction, you know, I did have to acknowledge that it actually is just the way of life or the way of the world.

You know, we can't be together forever. So you guys will come and discover this podcast at a certain stage of your life. And the podcast might be a good resource for you and for your business for a certain time, for a certain season. But eventually you'll get to the point where we have to part ways and you've got not the value that you can out of the podcast. So I guess it's inevitable. But before that time comes, I give you my phone number every single episode.

Take advantage of that and shape the conversation that we have here. I like this episode. I didn't like this episode. I understood this one. I didn't understand this one. This particular one I understand, but I disagree. I think you're wrong. Or this one I understand, I agree, but I don't see how it applies to my business or I understand, I agree it should not apply to my business, but somehow it does. Can you explain why it does?

I mean, let's have these conversations. That's the reason why I'm putting out my contact details there. So thank you, Nathaniel Ocola for reaching out. The lovely lady I had the conversation with yesterday, the former podcast listener. Real nice to meet all you guys. Looking forward to knowing you guys, interacting with you guys and answering very concrete questions that you're dealing with over here on the show. But if you're someone who is scared of talking to strangers like my Sundays, and please be inspired, be inspired by his example and remember the simple framework that I've given you and which is what I used to start off my business journey,

greeting intentions, questions, proposal, clothes. When I started off my wedding photography journey, that was that was it. Basically when I was calling wedding planners because I wanted to partner with them, that was my fault. That was the framework I was using. Greeting, intentions, questions, proposal, close. If somebody came and met me at the bridal show and I got her phone number, she filled my contact list and after the bridal show, I reach out to her,

I reach out to the husband. The format was the same. Greeting, intention, question, proposal, close. I'm not saying that this is the ultimate framework. I'm just saying that this is a good place to start until we come up with a framework that is effective and particular to you, your personality, style, your business, whatever it is that you're trying to achieve. So once again, get your pencil, your paper, write it down,

greeting, intention, question, proposal, close. If you're talking to a customer, that is the format. If you're talking to an investor, that is the format. If you're talking to other stakeholders, that is the format. For now, until we get a chance to come up with custom conversational framework for you. So thank you very much for your time and attention. I'll catch you guys at the next episode and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.