Building Consensus: Strategies for Selling When Multiple Stakeholders Hold the Purse Strings

Hello and welcome to the show. Before we begin, the usual apologies. I'm in a noisy environment as usual, but I just want to get this podcast episode out because if I wait for perfect conditions, then you know before you know it. Two or three days. Uh, back up before I can get ideal recording. Uh, conditions. So today we're going to continue with the previous discussions. We're looking at objections that we typically face in Niger.

But of course, our brothers and sisters listening in from Russia, America, Uganda, Kenya, wherever. I'm sure you guys face these objections as well. And this is one set of objections that everyone should be used to. And that is when you talk to a potential customer and the person says, I need to speak to my orga at the top. That's my boss. I need to speak to my husband. I need to speak to my wife. I need to speak with my pastor,

my lawyer, my accountant, my business partner, my kids, my mom, my XYZ. Just fill in the blank Whenever you think you're making progress, you think you're about to make, you're about to see the deal, and then the person brings in some other person whose input is required. Then this is the objection that you're that you're not faced with. So let's just say I need to speak with XYZ. Now, this arises in a number of situations.

Oh, sorry, let me take a step back. If this is your first time listening to the podcast in order to get the wider context of what we're talking about over here, it would help if after you listen to this, skip back four or five episodes. We've dealt with all the objections that people typically face. Your product is too expensive. I don't really need this right now. What else? I can't remember. We've dealt with the couple, so skip back four or five episodes and you get caught up to speed.

You will know what an objection is. You will know what a condition is. Let's see. And then a couple of other fine distinctions that we dealt with. So let me just continue with the meat of the matter. Just so you know, if this is your first time listening to the show, there's a wider discussion after this episode. Listen to the other ones. Sorry about that. Sore throat is still here. Although I am getting better or my my kids are getting better as well.

For those of you who are concerned, it's just a yearly thing and a seasonal thing rather. And I'm hoping that as the kids grow older, you know we're going to get past this phase, this phase. Then eventually they'll be in secondary school and I'll be fine and I'll be healthy and I won't have sore throats anymore. OK, so now the situations where this thing arises is typically where people have a lack of a decision making authority.

Now remember I told you that I've been saying over here on the podcast that Nigerians are really nice people. So sometimes you're talking to the wrong person and this guy or this girl just doesn't know how to tell you that you're wasting your time. She wants to be polite. She wants to be polite. So they'll just listen. But then eventually you get to the point where you need a signature, you need a decision. And they say, OK, let me, I need to talk with my Olga.

I need to talk with my boss. I need to talk with MDI, need to talk to Deaconess Afubero. I need to talk to the head pastor. I need to talk to the chief imam. It's at that point you're not realizing like, oh, OK, I've been spending three months building a relationship with this person pursuing this project, but actually it should have been the chief imam I should have been talking to if I want to build the well for the mosque.

So yeah, so it happens where there's a lack of a decision making authority. Now all that means is you've just been talking to the wrong person. So it sucks. But if you've been talking to this guy for three weeks, you've been talking to the wrong person. If you've been talking to this guy for one year, you've been talking to the wrong person. So it happens when you're talking to employees. How will I see it? I'm not trying to make people sound less than how will I say subordinates?

Yeah, let me say subordinates. So let's say it's a church, a parish project, and you've been talking to the Deacon, but you've not been talking to the General Overseer. Yeah. So I guess subordinates would be the right word in this case. So you've been talking to the subordinates, but you've not been talking to the HNIC. You've not been talking to the head. OK. I'm not sure I can use language like that on the air. You've not been talking to the head person, basically.

Sometimes it arouses, gosh, sorry, forgive me. Sometimes it arises when we're talking about spousal situations. I guess that's why I said arousal. I guess that was from Freudian slip, so sometimes it happens in spousal situations as well, depending on the culture or what it is you're talking about. You're talking to the husband only, but you need my time on board. So, you know, these sorts of things happens where an agent is with the husband only, and then the agent is pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing and, you know, the guy says, OK, you know, I like this house, but I need to speak with my wife first.

You know, the guy is only being realistic because the guy knows that in the past he has bought a house or moved into a house and Wifey didn't like it because the kitchen was too small or maybe because it was close to a graveyard. And she's like, how can we live in this kind of place and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So my guy has learned from experience that even though he's paid up and he has all the money in the world, he knows that,

look, I best talk to Madam before we buy this house or before I pay the rent money and things like that. So this is one of those spousal situations. And in fact, I was at a an online seminar where after I finished my bid, a lawyer piped on about how she was speaking to someone, the potential clients. She had invested weeks with this person. It was about a conveyancing situation. The land belonged to the wife and the wife was going to sell it and everything.

The husband was on board. They finalized everything. Excuse me. The lawyer had even started doing some work on the project, only for the husband to come back from abroad and then just to appeal the whole project. So, you know, it's just one of those cultural things. Yes, the land belongs to the wife. Oh, and by the way, I'm not here making a case for patriarchy and all that. I'm just saying that these are some of the realities that we face in business, especially in this part of the world.

So your own part is you're trying to close the deal, you're trying to make some money, you're not trying to dethrone patriarchy or whatever. So these are some stuff that you can't really descend into. Then sometimes it's concerning larger family arrangements because as a first born child, I can tell you guys for the fact that you know, there are some decisions that I can make on behalf of the family. And there are others that really I have to call everybody else to say, hey bro, what's up, what do you think?

I have to now put out some feelers, you know what my sisters think, you know all those sorts of things, you know, uncles, aunties, that sort of thing before we finally decide. So it's just one of these things. Then there are also business scenarios, complex scenarios where multiple stakeholders are involved. And these are the many reasons why people can say things like I need to talk to my ogre, my uncle, my husband, my wife, my pastor, my kids, my accountant,

my you know, my investors, my, whatever it is. These are lots of reasons why these things arise. Now, just like I advocated in previous podcast episodes, if you're going to be stubborn. And when the person says need to talk to my husband and you say, ah Madam, this is 21st century, talk to your husband, why, You know, blah blah blah. You keep pushing, you run the risk of coming across as a blockhead, and you actually might get the person to tense up and to lock up.

So if somebody says I need to talk to my ogre, the solution is not keep pushing. If somebody says need to talk to my wife, the solution is not You're the head of the household now, come on, you know, just you can, it can actually backfire. You get people to lock up and get people to not want to talk to you anymore. So what you do is you agree because like I said, nobody wants to feel like they're done so that they're liar or that what they're saying doesn't make sense.

So if the guy says I need to talk to my wife, you say, yeah, you know what, Actually, this is correct. Yeah. You actually should talk to your wife because after all, you know, this big money you're putting down here. So even myself, I won't spend this kind of money without talking to my wife. Then you ask some more questions because you're trying to figure out the bigger context. You're trying to figure out what he's concerned about, what his wife might be concerned about,

all those sorts of issues. Because when you get all these extra data, then you'll be able to reframe the proposal. So back to the extreme example that I gave. If it's because the house is close to a graveyard or maybe the kitchen is too small, you know, you can ask those sorts of questions like, OK, yeah, I understand they have to talk to Madame, blah, blah, blah. But by the way, I'm curious if Madame was here, what do you think our main problem will be?

And if the guy says, oh, the problem is the graveyard, OK, now you know that it is out looking for. You don't have it at the back of your mind that while you're pushing for a meeting with Madame, coming over to the office next time is out looking for other properties that are not close to the graveyard. But then, if the problem is that it is the kitchen, you now know at the back of your mind that if you're working on future proposals, you can come up with scenarios where you knock down this wall in the kitchen once they pay 50% of the deposit and then they extend the kitchen by,

you know, by 50 meters or, sorry, no, 50 meters, No, that's too big. But you get my point. Extend the kitchen by 5 feet or 10 feet or whatever, so you agree. Let everybody feel calm and cool so the conversation can continue. You ask more questions. You're trying to get more data. You're trying to figure out their priorities. You're trying to figure out what their concerns are. And the goal in this case is you're trying to get a future engagement where you have this other decision maker on board.

So if somebody says I need to talk to my wife, The thing is not to say our Bros, now you're the head of the family. Come on, I know a man. That's not the solution. Solution is, Yeah, it makes sense. I understand. But Wifey was here. What do you think she would feel? So man it makes sense. So he's he's even true that I brought it up self. Because even me, ma, I did this. I did this Man Wifey gave me stress. Yeah, understand.

It makes sense. So how far now like is is is Madam around? OK, when is she going to be back? She traveled to a new go. OK, when is she coming back? She's coming back on Friday and no problem. Now I'm around on Friday. OK, Friday is too late. And OK, we can meet Monday 10:00. OK. You guys are busy at 10 and no problem. I'll be around the neighborhood. So like that kind 12:30 I'll come over to the house. Is that cool? No problem.

You get down paper and you can see that there's still small room for this deal to move ahead. So that's the scope that you're using in these kinds of situations. It's also the same thing if the woman says I need to talk to my husband, the The thing is not to say, ah, come on, we just celebrated International Women's Day in this day of female emancipation, and you tell me that you're still chained to the yoke of patriarchy.

Are you trying to say you're not capable of thinking for yourself, That is not the way to go? If I say, yeah, I understand my sister, I understand totally. Well, they have to speak with your husband. You know, you crack down who uses all joke about how husbands are the first born of the family and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, if you don't expect them to behave one kind or something, you know, you guys laugh about all of that and then you refocus with the questions.

So if your husband were here, you know, what do you think we'll be concerned about now? OK, that's true, actually. You know, men might look at things from this and this and that perspective. OK. So like when do you think? I hope you'll be around so we can have a meeting and then you know the same scope, Try and figure out what the other stakeholders concerns are. You're now working in your brain, how you're going to amend your proposal for the future.

You try and get future engagement where you bring this other stakeholder whether it's ogre or the children or the whatever, on board. And yes, there will be times when you have to consult with children too. That happens because my mom has reached a certain age and her kids are of a certain age. So there's some decisions that she wants to take that of course, she calls her kids and she says, Tavi, you know, what do you think?

I spoke to your brother. Your brother is saying this, I spoke to your sister, this is what they're thinking, blah, blah, blah. And it's only after all this back and forth that she now calls the other provider. And then the deal is done. Like, for instance, you just got solar panels installed in a house, back in the villa, and you know, the same sort of thing back and forth. You know which which vendor, what specifications, what kind of technology, you know, those sorts of things.

So those are things that we backed and forth a little bit on. Now The thing is, you don't say, ah, Madam, who is the parent? Who are the children? Are you not the one that is the parent? It's OK Yeah, Madam, it's true. I understand. You know, after all, children have to take care of their mother, you know, blah, blah, blah. So anyway, what kind of questions are your children raising, by the way? And then, of course, my mom will talk.

And then the other one on on the other side is a sharp guy. He's taking notes. And he now knows that these are things to address in his proposal, whether it's concerns over credibility or concerns over quality or concerns over which tech is the most recent or the most efficient or whatever. And then like I said, future engagement with this other stakeholder, You know, how can you help on the phone with one of the children or with the whatever just to make people much more comfortable with the whole thing.

So yeah, so for these sets of situations where there's a lack of decision making authority, this is just how you approach it. Generally, when we're asking questions, we're trying to figure out what the priorities of the absent person is because we're trying to amend our proposal because there are sometimes that you actually can't amend your proposal on the spot. And it makes sense like, oh, OK, yeah, Typically, yes, wives will be concerned about 12345, but this is the reason why we have made provision for this and this and that and that.

And the person will say, Oh yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. I think it does take care of that. And then the person can move ahead. So those situations happen as well. Now, there are other situations where someone says I need to talk to my Olga, my pastor, my stakeholder, sorry, my investor, my children, my neighbor, my uncle, my whatever, because there's need for additional input, especially when we deal with complex sales scenarios.

So if people need some sort of technical expertise or their financial considerations or risk management or legal compliance, you know, you really do need to talk to other people. So back to the example that I came up with yesterday, that's when I was shouting out the guy who we're chatting with on LinkedIn, the guy from Inter Switch. So you're an Inter Switch salesperson, you're trying to sell payment solutions or well,

I'm assuming that that's what Inter Switch does. By the way, I'm not in the finance field, so I'm just free starting here. So if you work with Inter Switch, you know Novak's, I'm just coming up with scenarios, I'm trying to make it work here. So if that's what you guys do at Inter Switch, you know you sell connectivity, payment solutions, transactions, payment transactions, have to go through that sort of thing. Now you might be talking with the head honcho, you might be talking with Madam MD or Mr. CEO

or Mr. Whoever. But The thing is at the end of the day, Madam MD might be great at business, but she knows nothing about payment protocols and redundancy in Internet and blah blah blah, no what not. So there are times that genuinely she actually does have to call in the accountant calling head of IT, calling this person or calling the lawyers to find out what their own opinions are or talk to the risk management people that if we switch from this payment protocol to that payment protocol, what are the risks,

what are the problems it might cause. So in this complex sales scenarios, most things are actually genuine. The solution is the same as before. I agree. Like, oh Madam, Madam, MD Yeah, actually makes a lot of sense, It's true. Yeah. It would be nice for us to have technical, head of technical on board, you know, blah blah blah. If technical were here, like what kind of concerns do you think you would have? Madam will say one or two things, or maybe she just has a vague idea, but no problem.

You make a note of these things so that you can amend your proposal in the future. And then of course, I'm trying to advance the deal. Try and see where OGA IT or OGA Technical, OGA Legal or Chairman of financial committee or whatever. Whoever it is, I need to talk to try and find out when to be available and fix a meeting or yeah, so that's it. And then you come back for the future meeting then. I'm sorry about that.

Now, one solution. So I need to check how much time we've been on. OK, this is 15 minutes. Let me bring it to a close now. Let's see, Let's see, let's see. OK, so now once we're thinking about it in the sales and business development perspective is we try and prevent problems of happening in the 1st place. So you should always be trying to figure out the decision making unit of you know the family or the business that you're dealing with.

Now the DMU, the decision making unit, this is something that I've stolen from. I think it's it's construction, I think it's construction in the in the USA, I think it's construction in America. Yeah, I think so. So they call it the decision making unit. And the idea behind it is this, that you're trying to build something. A number of decisions are going to have to be reached before any work gets done. So you need to figure out who are the key people that need to be involved before the decision is made.

And from the beginning you start chasing those guys from the get. You don't just talk to only one person and assume that it's a done deal. So back to Madam MD thing, you've got Madam M DS phone number. It's good. It's a huge victory because Madam MD is the one who signed the check at the end of the day. But if you can try and wing it, try and talk to somebody else. See how you can get the chief of I TS phone number, the legal secretary's phone number, the procurement person's phone number, the you know all these other people.

That's part of the decision making unit that before they switch payment from this thing to that thing, before they buy your your fintech, whatever it is, that's some people that you're going to have to talk to. One person pays the check, somebody is responsible for executing it, Another person is responsible for coming up with the legal documents, another person is responsible for actually facilitating the payment. Just try from the beginning.

If this is the DMU, the decision making unit, just try. See how you can run it like that by talking to everybody right from the beginning. Now there are times where you can't get everybody. I mean the world is not perfect, but The thing is just do your best. You're trying to increase the odds, make the put the odds in your favour. Now there are different ways of trying to figure out the DMU when you're talking in the beginning.

So yes, you might be talking to Madam MD, Managing Director. She's the one that signs the check. But at some point in the conversation you can say Madam MD, thank you very much, I really appreciate the support, blah blah blah. But before I go, usually when we're talking to these sorts of things like in our last project that we did for Axis Bank, XYZ were involved in the deal, you know, But how come I've, I've not been seeing your technical,

your head of technical here for the conversations, you know, how come you know something like that or aren't they going to be involved in this decision. You know, like use your personality use your own words, you know, that kind of stylish question and is there that, you know she might say, Oh no, that that's how Access Bank does it. But in this bank and the Alpha and the Omega, once I've said it, I've said it once I signed,

you know, it's done. OK, OK. So you now go ahead on those terms or you can ask now. OK, thank you very much Madam. MD, you know it's been fun blah, blah, blah. But typically who usually signs off on these sorts of decisions? I know that you OK, the final whatever, but what about head of procurement doesn't have a say in this, What about head of IT, head of technical, you know you ask. We have to ask these questions because they need to know what's going on.

We need to figure out what the decision making unit is. Because The thing is this, if you're dealing with the Alpha on the Omega, then very good. But the only way you know whether you're dealing with alpha on the Omega is if you ask in the 1st place. Because if the other people involved in the decision making process, it is better off to figure that out now rather than wasting six months talking with Madam MD only to find out that Madam MD doesn't take this kind of decisions unless she talks to Head of procurement or Head of technical.

So you're better off knowing at week 3. And you try and involve head of technical and head of Procurement rather than building a relationship for six months, only to now find out that head of procurement actually has his own person that he's trying to bring in for the deal. You know, the sooner we find out these things, the better. Then there's another situation I don't want to avoid. I've already hinted at it. That's where, you know, people want to build consensus and avoid blame.

I'm adding this one because it typically is where people are trying to spread ownership because, you know, in case the hour gas, you know, in case something blows up, like in family and traditional matters. So some people try to spread the blame. So there's some kind of things that yes, as the first one, I know I can take decisions on. But myself, you know, I have to cover my behind. So, you know, I'll tell the person, you know what, just just chill, Let me talk to my uncles a little bit and then I'll get back to you.

Or let me hold up my brother and then I'll get back to you, You know, those those kind of things. So yeah, those situations do exist. People are trying to build consensus because they know that if there's any hour. And I decided by myself, you know, I'm more like when the blame, when the blame happens, like you'll be hot on my head. So I need to spread the consensus. So it happens. It also happens in businesses. People are trying to gain wider support and want to get other stakeholders on board so that if the thing falls apart,

everything will just fall on their head. So it happens in business and it happens in family matters. So I'm assuming they should be a universal thing. I guess it's not just a Niger thing, but it happens even in business. So when it happens, like I said, the solution is not a challenge. It's not to say are you not the head of the family, you are the first born. This is straightforward something. Just sign this paper. Let's get this thing over and done with.

No, that's not how you go about it. You encourage and say, ah boss, I understand though. I know how Nigerian families are. I understand though. In fact I'll discuss with your brother. Let's make sure that once we do this thing and we sign like we're signing once, we're doing once, we're executing once, there's no back and forth. So we agree, you encourage, you lean in. And then you also have some questions like, oh OK, my own culture is like this, like this,

like this. OK, so your own culture, you have to ask your uncle. You have to ask this. OK. And who else? OK. Your auntie too. OK. I'm just curious like, why? OK, OK, so if your uncle was here, if auntie was here, what would they be concerned about? If your brother was here, what would be concerned about? OK, your older sister, what kind of person is she? She's that kind of person. I'll be. Oh, OK, alright, no problem. So if we don't involve big Sis and if we don't involve big auntie in the village, like what's the worst that can happen?

Like, oh, oh, OK, OK, OK, I understand. Yes, you know what? Let's let's just talk to all these people. So we'll just do this thing one time. Let's not make mistake. Then in your mind, with all these information that you've gotten, you're now thinking, OK, my proposal, my document, my whatever, how am I going to amend it to take all these possible concerns that this guy has voiced. And then of course, try and get an advancement.

Try and get a future meeting where big sis, older brother, younger sister, big aunty, head of the family committee, chairman, whatever it is, you know where those people are involved. So that's you pretty much. OK, over 20 minutes. Let me just wrap it up. So remember to connect with me on LinkedIn. The name is Tavishima Ayede. I'm the host of the show and I can confirm the spelling of my name from the link. We're listening to this episode.

Then I'm also available on WhatsApp. Phone number is 08064662140. The country code is +234 if you're not Nigerian. Thank you very much for your time and attention. I'll catch you guys at the next episode.