Dress, Ask, Connect: Building Trust in Sales & Life

Hello and welcome to the show. Today we're going to look at the question how sales skills can help for personal growth and development. Now First off, let's consider what are sales skills. These are any number of skills that you need for the following things #1. Building trust and rapport with potential clients because nobody's willing to buy from you unless they trust you unless you're a little bit familiar. Unless you guys have some commonality, I trust you guys.

Get the gist #2 Understanding clients needs. You can't sell effectively unless you know what it is that the person standing in front of you needs. Because we've all been in that situation. Some of us have been on the receiving end. In fact, I'm on the receiving end of it a whole lot of time when I'm stuck in traffic and I'm behind the wheel. And then there's people who sell wrist watches. They come up, they tap the windscreen, and then they start showing me fancy metal watches.

Now they do this all the time because I only wear plastic wrist watches or rubber wrist watches. So Casios, right now I have a Garmin, let's see what else Swatch know things like that. I have always worn plastic wrist watches because my skin is corrosive. And so if I wear metal wrist watches, if I put on a Rolex or a Rolex knockoff or things like that, my skin corrodes the metal. So it's not the reaction that I get on my skin, it's the reaction that happens to the metal.

So you can take a beautiful silver watch and give it to me. And then after two months they think it's going to look terribly crusty and rusty. Now for some reason, people who sell watches in traffic, they assume that because I'm a brass, because I'm a guy, I shouldn't be wearing plastic, I should be wearing something high end looking something metal. So they never bother to understand the client need. That's the client who is before them.

Rather they assume that they know what it is that the client they assume that the, yeah, they assume that they know what it is that I need. So it's something that I am on the receiving end of a lot of the time. I'm sure you guys have been in that situation to where there's someone in front of you who is trying to sell you on something. Let's say Jaguar for instance, the person is trying to sell you on travel, travel and visa options and things like that,

but the person keeps talking about jackpot and maybe you and your wife, you guys have discussed or you and your husband, you guys have discussed and you people are not going anywhere, you're not emigrating anywhere. Now if the fellow had slowed down the conversation to try and figure out the possible reasons that people need those kinds of travel services, jackpot is just one of them. The second one could be holidays.

So if you are taking the time out to try and figure out who it is that he's talking to, he might have been able to make a sale based on the holiday thing instead of happening on Jaguar all the time. Oh by the way, Jaguar is a trend that is currently going on in Nigeria for those of you who are non Nigerians listening to the podcast and it's an immigration trend. People basically running away trying to move to America,

Canada, I think United Kingdom, yeah, I would say, yeah, I would say those those countries in particular. So that's part of the jackpot trend that is going on right now. So skills that you need to be successful in sales, you have to learn how to build trust and rapport with potential customers. You also have to learn how to understand client needs. Then another sales skill is coming up with effective presentations. The presentation basically is the part of the sales process where you say this is the reason why you guys should be going with me.

Because I am this, I am this. Or because my product is this, my product is this, my service is this, my service is that. So you need to learn how to come up with effective presentations. Then another skill that you, another skill that you need to be successful in sales is getting people to commit to next action steps. Because there's one thing to say, I am the best, I'm the greatest, I'm the brightest, I'm the newest and the latest.

It's another thing to get someone to take the next step, which is to download the app or the peer deposit, or to pay full price, or to go for a office visit or a site inspection or whatever. So that is a skill in itself as well. Then finally, the two skills that you need to be successful in sales ensuring customer satisfaction and then getting repeat business and referrals because you have to be sure that people were satisfied in the 1st place before they come back to do business with you again and also to bring their friends,

their family members and their associates. So if we want to figure out how sales skills can help for personal growth and development, we need to figure out what sales skills are and that is what we have done in this first part of the episode. So we are now going to consider how all these skills help with personal growth and development. The argument I'm trying to make or what I'm trying to push right now is to say that even if you're not a professional salesperson, being interested or taking interest in skills,

skills is going to help your personal growth and development in your career or in your personal life or in church or in politics or whatever. And we're going to devote the next couple of episodes to show how that is the case, how and why that's the case. Now, I'm sure you guys have noticed that we have spoken about a lot of skills so far, building trust and rapport, understanding customer needs, being making effective presentations, getting people to commit, ensuring customer satisfaction, getting repeat business.

So that's too many skills to tackle in one episode. So we're going to tackle them one at a time. Now, I'm sure you guys have noticed that we've been talking about these things in terms of skills and when it comes to sales and business development, you will find that no matter the guru, the professional, the trainer, you will find that they call them skills. And we do this for a particular reason. People in other disciplines prefer to call these things attributes, but in sales, we call these things skills and we call them skills for a particular reason.

They are called skills because in sales and business development, we believe that these things are not innate, they are not inborn. So nobody is born with the skill of building rapport. Nobody is born with the skill of making people take the next step. Nobody is born with the skill with the trait of understanding what people find to be valuable. So we call them skills because these things are learned and they can be learned and executed by anyone.

In fact people who are responsible for sales management. The the orientation is that these things are available to everyone and not just the skilled few. So yes, there are some people who seem to be hyper talented in one area or the other, so talent does play a role. But don't be discouraged because these are learned skills and these are learnable skills. So learning and practicing the skill makes a whole lot of difference.

So that's the reason why in this space we call them skills. So you will find that Nigerian sales coaches, sales professionals, whatever, Nigerians, Americans, Ghanaians, New Zealand, you will never hear anybody talk about them as attributes. You will hear them talk about it as skills because it is not inborn. If you're genetically gifted in one thing or another, yeah, no problem. That's good for you. But that doesn't mean the person who likes those genes will not be able to learn and will not be able to execute.

So it's a learnable skill, but we're going to focus on learning and practicing. So the first thing that we looked at was building trust and establishing rapport. So now let's look at the skills required, or rather the subset of skills required for building trust and rapport. These are skills that help you establish your credibility and competence. Credibility is that sense that you give to the to the potential customer or to the stakeholder,

to the investor, to whoever it is you're talking to, that this person is trustworthy. I can trust this person. Competence is that vibe or is that aura or those sets of, what would I say? No, Anyway, you get the point. Competence is the vibe that you give, that you know how to do what it is that you say you can do. So credibility, this person is trustworthy. Competence, this person can do XYZ two of them together. Those are things that help to enshrine, not enshrine.

What's that word? Ensure trust. So if you look like you know what you're talking about and you sound, or you demonstrate that you can do the deed, then people will trust you to get the job done. And then we're also going to look at skills that can help you build commonality, commonality. It's another word for rapport. And that is the variable you get where both of you are talking and it looks like you guys are friends and you've known each other forever.

So the skills that help you establish credibility and competence, Well, First off, for those of you who've been listening to the podcast for a very long time, this will be no surprise to you. So #1 skill being appropriate or contextual when it comes to dress and greetings, you guys can see that this is a learned ability. There's nobody who comes out of the womb. There's nobody who is born. Learning how to be appropriate in society, appropriate with greetings, using the right dress, contextually, things like that.

Nobody is born that way. There's something we're taught. Your mom says do this, do this. Your dad says do this, do that. Your uncle says do this, do this. And people reinforce it as you grow older. So this is a learned skill. So it looks like there's some people who dress sharp from the womb, like Maya Tafo and what's his name, The American comedian, The one who likes wearing suits and who does a family feud. Steve Harvey.

Yeah, so there are those types who look like they were born with a three piece suit and who know how to match colors and stuff like that. But trust me, there might be some genetic, there might be some genetic Peacock, Jean or something that they inhabit that make them learn how to dress. But it doesn't mean that they didn't learn some things, acquire some skills along the way, and groom themselves appropriately. So it is something that can be learned whether you're a man or that you're a woman.

So that's the first skill appropriate greetings, appropriate dress, contextual dressing, contextual greeting. You get the whole point. It's a learned ability. Then there's also the skill of playing up or talking about your professional qualifications. This is also a learned ability because not everybody likes to brag. In fact, the average Nigerian would prefer to keep it on the wraps that he has a doctorate degree and four or five, you know, whatever, 'cause they don't want to see him pushy or they don't want to see him braggy.

So it might be on their LinkedIn handle, but they're not going to lead off every conversation by saying I'm a Harvard trained 4° four master something, something, something, something. So it is a skill. And even for those people who are very boastful and who like to bring up those things in conversation, you have to figure out a way of doing these things tastefully. Because there's a way of coming into the room and playing out this whole thing of your PhD and you graduated from Harvard and you have 5 masters and blah blah blah.

And you do it. And it just comes across as tacky, comes across as a Gooch, comes across as what's the word. You know, when you're not sophisticated, like, you're trying too hard, you're trying to fit in. You're trying to feel among, as we used to say, background with kids. So it's something that has to be done tastefully, learning how to talk about you and your professional qualifications. You have to be able to be able to talk about the fact that you are CFA certified or that you graduated first class or that you have 10 master's degrees.

You have to be able to do this in a very tasteful way. So this is also a skill that will help you to establish credibility and establish competence. Now for skills that help you establish commonality, on the other hand, these are largely skills that are built around having open and candid conversations that are other focused. Now when I say other focus, what I mean is the conversation has to be focused on the other person and not focused on you.

Now these practices are also learned for most people because most of us like talking about ourselves and if left, our own devices. The average person is going to talk about movies that they find interesting, food that they like, holidays that they have taken. Let's see what else fears and concerns that they have instead of approaching the conversation trying to figure out who is this other person, Where was this person born?

Where did this person grow up? What kind of food does she like? What are her concerns or fears about Nigeria or about the profession or about this or about that? So we need to learn how to how to have other focused conversations. Now they also have to be open and they also have to be candid. Now when we say open conversations, what we mean are conversations that are question LED. So you're asking things, you know, who, why, what, when,

where, how. You know those sorts of things like oh oh hi, OK you're walking you. So let's say you're at the networking session and of course in networking sessions, at least in Nigeria anyway, everybody has a name badge. So you woke up. So Halima, how are you doing? Blah, blah, blah, you know, the small chit chat and everything. So what brings you here to the session today? OK, no, let me pretend that it was back at the the the British Council Alumni UK event, the one that I made a podcast about.

So that sort of thing. One typical question. There will be other focus that could get the conversation flowing after you're done with the hi Halima. My name is Femi. Bit would be. So what university did you go to or what did you study? When did you come back into the country? Why did you decide that Nigeria had greater career prospects? Why didn't you remain in in Scotland? You know, you. You see how this can get conversations going where you're beginning to learn things about the other person because you are doing The Who, the why, the what, the when, the how, all those W questions.

So we have to learn how to ask questions about the other person, ask questions about the personal history, the cultural backgrounds, the professional history, educational history, things like that. Now this is how it helps to establish commonality. If you ask all these questions, but you don't do a bit of me too, then you're not going to build any rapport, so you'll have to do some Me too. Like, oh, you studied in the UK

Me too. Where were you? OK, You were in New Hampton or I was in blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So you have to emphasize areas where both of you have common history or common interests, and that is what helped you build rapport. So that after that event, the guy or the girl leaves, but remembers that, OK, I spoke to that guy who also did this or who also went to that or who is also interested in this. So the next time you call or you e-mail, you can say, oh, it's me, it's the haggis guy, you say, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I

remember. Oh, by the way, Haggis is a Scottish delicacy where they take what's it called. You take all the things on the inside, you know, stomach, stomach, kidney, shaky, you know everything, Take everything out, blend it. And then you make you make some food, You make some sort of pie out of it. Now, I think it tastes repulsive. I don't like, you know, I don't like it. So for Nigerians who have been to Scotland and who ended up liking Haggis, it's a point of commonality between both of them, like, oh, you tried haggis, You liked it.

And now everybody likes blood pie. For instance, I took sorry, not blood pie, It's called black, black pudding. But that's when you take animal blood and then you boil it and then you eat it. So I tried black pudding and I liked it. But then there's some Nigerians that find that idea gross that you know how can you eat animal blood. So that can be you know, a something that insignificant can be an area of commonality between both of you.

So these are some of the sub skills that we've spoken about that are that are useful when it comes to building trust and rapport with potential customers. Now all these skills sound real nice, but then some of you wonder how in the world does this help me in my personal growth and in my personal development? Number one, you take all these skills on board, you're going to learn socially appropriate behaviours. It is useful when it comes for to career development because not everybody, not everyone wants to hire that guy.

Who or that girl who is technically speaking, the best accountant, the best doctor? The best is the best that. But then when they come in they are very abrasive. People don't like working with them, nobody wants them around, nobody wants to be in their department. It is hard to it is hard to have that person be a a member of your your team. So people are looking for someone who who have learned all the socially appropriate behaviours, and that is why you learn all these things that we've been talking about when it comes to establishing trust and showing your commonality and credibility.

It's going to help you in career development and other areas of human life. Because if you're good at this stuff, people want to be in your department, people want to work with you, people want to be in your worker group, in church, you know on and on and on. And then it's also going to help because you're going to learn how to have conversations with strangers. That is also very good for your career because yes, you show up to the office in the beginning,

everybody's a stranger. Eventually you get to know everyone. But then there are times when you have to go beyond that. The office sends you for training in Lagos or London or Port Harcourt or whatever, and you're going to meet new, other, other people who could be partners, stakeholders for the future, mentors, associates in any number of ways. So you need to learn how to have conversations with strangers. It's also good for church.

If you're trying to evangelize or you're trying to grow the children's department in church, it helps. If you have these skills and you know how to have these conversations, then you're going to be able to Co opt other parents so that you guys can build the the children's section or the Sunday school section or whatever. And you know it's the same thing. PTA Getting to know other parents in your children's school so that you can network properly, you know, things like that.

Then once you have these socially acceptable behaviour skills lockdown, and once you have conversation skills locked down, then it's going to lead to higher personal confidence and it's also going to lead to increased self esteem. So socially appropriate, you've locked that one down, conversations with strangers locked that one down. Team building skills, everything, all that locked down, you're going to be much more confident and you're going to have higher self esteem.

It's one of the things that I was hoping I was going to be able to talk about during the on the International Women's Day on the 8th of March this year, 2024, because I think this is a reason why more women should consider a career in sales or business development. That's because I find that when the International Women's Day comes round or the International Women's Month come round. I find out that people who are organizing speaking sessions on panels, they waste too much time complaining about the patriarchy.

Now, complaining about the patriarchy is not the only part of the solution, and it's an important thing that we ought to talk about. But then we also need to emphasize how our mothers, our sisters, our daughters, our wives, our aunties, you know, you get the point. We need to emphasize that these people also need to learn transferable skills so that you can upgrade on the personal or the career or the business situations, whatever it is that you are working on.

But anyway, I wasn't able to find one of these panels to go speaking on, so I guess I'll just make a series of what's called LinkedIn Audios on that so I can push the message up. So, OK, so we're going to stop today on these skills around building trust, credibility and trust and then tomorrow we're going to continue with skills around understanding your client needs and how it can lead to your own personal growth and development.

Yeah, that's a really good one to touch. So because you need to see how it's counter intuitive, but learning how to focus on other people can lead to you growing and developing and getting richer and wiser. So that's all for today folks. Remember to connect with me on WhatsApp. The number is 08064662140 and the country code is +234. Then connect with me and on LinkedIn as well. My name is Tarashima Ayede. I'm the host of the show.

You can confirm the spelling of my name and my e-mail address from the link. We're currently listening to this episode. Thank you very much for your time and attention. I'll catch you guys at the next episode.