Guardrails for Growth: Practical Tips for Female Founders in Sales

Hello and welcome to the show. Taking today's recording at my desk. It's a weekend, the kids are home, the neighbors are doing some renovation work. So there's going to be lots of interruptions coming in through the background. Now, this is your first time listening to the podcast. Don't worry, I'm not here to tell you about my kids or my neighbors. The goal of this show is free business education, so we're here to talk about all things sales and marketing related.

So if you get any value from the podcast by the time we're done, share, promote and talk about the show so that your friends and family members and your enemies as well and Nigeria and abroad can benefit from the questions that we tackle. Why should you tell your enemies? Because if your enemies make more money, you make money as well. But we'll talk about that later. So your people can subscribe on Spotify, YouTube, Apple, or any player of their choice.

And if you have any sales or marketing questions, bring them to me. You can call me, you can SMS, you can WhatsApp me on 08064662140. Today on the show we're going to talk about, I'm going to share a conversation that I had with a female mentee of mine where I give some advice on how to handle the sales process, on how to deal with on toward advances in sales, if you understand what I mean. So you're a female salesperson,

you're in business for yourself or you're selling for a company. And there's one idiot, you know, there's one bastard who thinks that he has seen free meat that he can eat. So if you're in those situations, some of the conversations, but basically just showing how to do all those kinds of issues. And before we begin, I would like to say that I'm extremely sorry. So well, OK, maybe not sorry. I'm extremely saddened that there are a lot of you who are sales professionals, women,

female sales professionals, young girls, you're trying to take a stab at business. And I'm extremely saddened that for some of you, these are some of the experiences that you guys, the experiences that you guys face when just trying to build a career or just trying to make, trying to make a living. So it's really, really sad to hear that. But hopefully today we're going to come up with some ideas that I hope will be able to put you on the forefront of some of these things, to be able to anticipate some of these things and to be able to handle some of these things in an assertive way and protect yourself.

Because the truth of this matter is that, you know, these people, these lecherous idiots are going to be there no matter what it is that we want. These people will always be there. Let me just put it that way. The best we can do is to make sure that we ourselves are sorted and that we ourselves are protected. Now before I go into that, in the intro, I was telling you guys how you know, if you have any questions, you can ask them so you can WhatsApp me.

I'm not going to give a shout out to people who have actually done so. So shout out to Japev or Segali. You have the same name as one of my family members because you know I'm married to Anisha woman. So Japev or Segali, really cool name. I didn't know Nigeria's bare names like Japev. He reached out to me on LinkedIn. Then there's Maro Okhobia. Hope I'm pronouncing your name correctly. I know one marrow, but he's a northern shop.

But your son name Okhobia. Okhobia is like, I don't know, is that Ebo? So Mario Okhobia also reached out to him on LinkedIn. Then there's Elizabeth David, we had a full proper length conversation on LinkedIn. And let's see. Then there's Abdul Aziz Mostafa who also reached out to me on LinkedIn. And then Suleiman Gimbia who reached out to me on WhatsApp. They're all listeners of the show. They reached out and if you know any of them personally, they will testify that they reached out and we didn't have a conversation and hopefully I was able to solve one or two problems for them.

Whether it turned out to be a paid consulting engagement or not in the future is besides the point. But at the very least, anybody who reaches out to me, I try to make sure I can deliver some value. Then later on, we can decide about whether you become a paid client or not. So bottom line, do not be afraid to reach out. So like I said today on the show, I'm going to share a conversation that I had with a female mentee on how to handle the sales process.

That's on one side, and then on how to handle when idiots approach you and trying to build your career or trying to build your business. Now this is the background. She's a 25 year old, 25 year old sales Rep currently, although she needs that when she was 25. So she's been in this game for a while and I really, really like when women enter into sales early because there are lots of skills that you can learn that are going to tarry well, to ministry, to public service, to entrepreneurship, to whatever.

So when women get into this game early, I'm very, very proud of that. Just a pity that some people now think that. Oh, fine girl, small girl, fresh meat. So yes, the 25 year old sales Rep, her background is in oil and gas sales and she's currently building a company with a Co founder and they're going to use AI. They believe that they've found some benefits for AI and how it can be used in government power status. So she was supposed to have a meeting and this is the meeting set up.

Basically it's an older gentleman who happens to be a head of department of a ministry. Of course I'm not going to say which ministry it is because and I'm not going to say which ministry it is. So it's an older gentleman who's the head of a ministry, and when she tried to hook up the meeting, her plan for the meeting was to show how this particular AI solution can be good for a government Paris data. Now, this is our first mistake,

but I'm going to talk about that in later. A lot of you think the first meeting is to show somebody this is my value. No, the first meeting actually is to try and figure out is this person even interested in the first place? If this person is interested, if there's a need here that your product or service can fulfil, then you can start setting up future meetings. But the first meeting should not even be a physical meeting.

It should be a short something on the phone or on Google Meet on Zoom or whatever. And the whole point is just trying to figure out, is this person interested? Is there a vacuum here that my product or my service can meet? So in fact, that's the only mistake that she made actually in setting up the meeting. Then, OK, they agreed on the meeting date and time. Unfortunately it was agreed out of state because this fellow,

you know how senior all I put, you know, our senior public officials, you know how senior public officials can be. So because he's out of state and because of work schedules and stuff like that, meeting fixing a time and it was, was a problem. So they fixed a meeting time, but it was going to be out of state. She was going to go and meet him, but then he started asking her to come later in the day and oh, no problem. If it was late, we can stay over.

You know, I'll show you the cities, I'll show you this, I'll show you this, blah, blah, blah, blah. But luckily this my mentee, she's a very sharp girl. So she knew that this idiot, she thinks she has seen fresh meat. And so that's one of the things that we spoke about because she thinks, and I agree with her 100%, the white guys start talking this kind of something. No, no, come now, I just, you know, not only business, you know, we'll see the city.

I'll show you one or two places, you know, blah, blah, blah. I even want to know more about you. Some, some tell me more about when the when the conversation starts entering that kind, you know, the guy just trying to be stupid or he's just trying his luck. By the way, I'm not against, you know, like you're single. You're a single young man, a salesperson comes you know she's a fine babe yes you're talking business, but then you're also looking for wife material.

You know, I'm not saying that these kind of things don't happen, but even at them as men, especially men of a certain age and then in certain relation, certain dynamics, because a salesperson coming to meet you, you know, sorry, 1 moment. OK, sorry about that. I'm back. The the boys were fighting and then, you know, my older boy gave the younger one the basically he used his knee and jabbed the baby in the head. So, you know, it's one of these things when you have boys now,

it's always plenty. There's one thing after another. And for those of you who don't have kids yet, you know, these are the very fun things that you have to look forward to, you know, separating fights every now and then. So what was I saying now? So what I was saying is, you know, if you don't have wife and you know, it says girl comes and you know, she's looking kind of fine, I think you might find wifey there. You know, no problem, No problem.

I'm all well and good for that. There are lots of relationships that have started that way. In fact, there's one popular Nigerian actor, I can't remember his name, much older Nigerian actor. That's how he and his wife started. She was a salesperson. She came into the office, you know, from their marriage and a wonderful family blossomed. But some of us need to be mindful, those of us who have a certain age and when certain social dynamics that if a young girl is coming, all she's doing,

she's looking for a Commission, she's looking for a daily bread. You know, perhaps this is not the best time. Perhaps this is not the best situation. Maybe after the deal is concluded and everything is now on a normal, normal objective level, we can now start to be saying that, oh, babe, you know what, I won't license the first time you entered the office. You know, I've been seeing you. You know, I think you're a franker and everything.

I doesn't want to say anything so that you know, I won't disturb this business. But now that this business is out of the way, you know, how far can I see you? May I know you? Can I be your friend? You know, all those conversations. So everybody, most, most my wife. But let's let's do so on a on a very mindful level, on a very correct level, on a very clean level, on a very objective level so that anybody that is hearing the gist afterwards like that Nigerian actor, I can't remember if it was Judico soccer.

I can't remember anybody who is handed this. Later we hear and say, oh, you know, endless love, They were meant to be loving story. Not that I do here. And people will now start thinking, ah, how could you she took advantage of her or what were you doing there? And you know, all these stories that come up. So yeah, my opinion, this guy was trying to be opportunistic. Now, this is my own solution to the problem multithreading.

Those of you who've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know about multithreading. But for those of you who are listening newly, this is what multithreading means. Multithreading means that when you're trying to break into an account, because remember, this guy is the head of department of a public parastatal. When you're trying to crash into any accounts, when you're trying to penetrate any kind of business.

Like let's say I want to go and do training now for, I don't know, Zenith Bank. If I say I'm going to enter into Zenith Bank and I'm only talking into one person, I'm putting myself on a high jump. I'm giving myself very long assignment because there's no way that you can break into one business account by doing only one person. You might be lucky and everything will kick, but through the matter is in order to be successful in breaking into account, we need to know many more people.

We need to start courting many more stakeholders. So multi threading is a basic tenant whenever we're trying to break into any account. So if you're trying to do something with a government prior state health in Niger or you're trying to get business with Glow or business with MTN or whatever, you can't say you only know one person or they're only pursuing one person. Nowadays people call that account based marketing ABM.

That's the initial. So you can go and do some research, although traditionally you know all that people who just know it as sales because that is good sales. So my solution to how I look, OK, we have jammed and idiots. Now there's nothing we can do. Now we've jammed an idiot. It's just one of those things. So we have to start looking for other stakeholders in the account that we can sell to basic. If we go and one door is closed because the person happens to be an idiot, we have to go and look for other doors to open.

And by the way, if you try to open other doors and it looks like the whole department is full of idiots. And one of those people who firmly believes that, look, if this whole department is full of idiots, just walk up us. Just go free it. Nobody's holding your destiny. If you don't do business with this department, then like something shot will click. If this door closes, no problem. Another door will open somewhere. But sure, we should be multi threading.

We shouldn't be looking only at one person. We're looking only at one person. We're subject to key man risk. The normal key man risk is this, that the person will lose their job and then that's it. You don't have the connection inside that organization. Again, the person might be transferred. You could be talking to the guy and you know he's not an idiot, but you know, they transfer him to put a court and they transfer him to another civil service and then that's it.

You don't know anybody. Again, sometimes it's deaf. Sometimes you're talking to somebody. The person is your guy, but then the person dies. And then sometimes it's changing personal circumstances. The person might be there still in the organization, still holding the position, but they just think that personal priorities or, or organizational priorities or business priorities are different. So that's the usual key man risk.

It's just a pity that in this case the key man she faces that the guy happened to be an idiot and the guy is opportunistic. The guy is looking for is looking for fresh meat. Is it good? So we now identified other stakeholders within the organization. So there's a framework where you look at different kinds of users for your product or your ServiceNow. The names are many and depending on who is talking or what framework, they will use different terms.

But let me just use one of the terms that I can remember now off the top of my head. Of course, by the way, if we're having a paid consulting session, you know, I will actually will try and remember everything and you know, we'll map it out. I'll figure out, you know, the, the stakeholders we should be targeting. So this category of people that are called management users, a management user is the person who is going to take the decision and say, Oh yeah, boys,

girls, go ahead with this is what we're using. So if I'm trying to get into Zenith Bank now, you know, the more orgasm I know the better. If I know MD, branch manager, CEO, if I know all of them, you know, the chances that one of them will say, well, this is what we're doing, go ahead. The chances, the chances will increase. That is the management user, then the financial user is the person who is going to authorize the payment.

So if I know somebody in accounts, if I know somebody in procurement, you know, you'll be good. It will help. Because sometimes our guy says, well, let's go ahead is what we're doing. But I may be on the way in. You quarreled with the head of accounting or with the head of procurement, you know down his problem because our guy will say let's go ahead, but because the head of finance doesn't like you or maybe he has his own person if he will now start causing some small hiccup.

So we need to know people who are financial users. Then there's also the technical user. The technical user is the desk officer or the person who actually has to use your product or your service. And in this case, they're trying to see how AI can be used to improve government power status in Nigeria. So they definitely need to know people who are IT, especially since the application that they're working on has to be integrated into the government software.

So they definitely you definitely have to know somebody in IT department. So this is an example about how some of you when you're trying to break into an organization, you're not quite thinking clearly. You know somebody there who is your Popsy's friend or your mumsy's classmates, or you will go to church together or you were in the same mosque. And because that you think you have an insight into the organization, you know, you don't really have an insight into the organization yet, you will face serious scheme and risk.

We need to multi thread, we need to look for other stakeholders related to this scenario, related to this product. So in her own case, DG's office, you suppose get connection inside there. It doesn't mean you have DG's phone number direct, but at least if you're able to know a desk officer in DG's office, maybe able to figure out who DG's PA is or something. That kind of connection, you know, you know, go bad. It will be good.

IT department if you know one or two people will be good procurement and finance. If you get one or two connections, you know, no go bad. So that is where you're supposed to be thinking about these things and you don't just get trapped talking to only HOD. Then also, since we are trying to target a government parastatal and the government parastatal has regulatory oversight over private citizens, then if also you have some people, some citizens, you're connected to some and people who have used your product and they have testimonials, that will also be good because you'll be good.

If you're going to Ministry of Finance, this is your fancy idea, this is your fancy idea, This is how this kind of thing will work. And by the way, we did pilot program for 20 communities in Abuja Municipal Council and another 5 communities on Lagos mainland and these were the results. You know that kind of thing can help your sales process. So these are the kind of things you should be thinking about. But please do not wake up one day and find out that you are stuck talking to only one person.

It's a recipe for disaster. But like I said, it can work. There are people who they came into the organization, they only know one person and they worked out with a millionaire contract. It does happen, but increase your odds. Make sure that you're talking to multiple people now between me and my mentee, this is what we actually decided by the time we looked at the level of work. I was supposed to go into this thing especially on the IT side because she said ah, these people IT department in in public power status.

I guess it be those places are just messy. People are just like a Daisy cow, as in people are just anyhow. Anyhow, so we decided and it made more sense that there are some private institutions that deal in these sorts of things. So it will be easier to enter private institutions instead of entering ministry. And for me, it made perfect sense. It made perfect sense, especially since number one with my sidestep the idiot, because I'm never comfortable when any of my people have to go in for a meeting with an idiot with a Leech who is thinking that he has seen fresh meat.

Funny enough, whenever I'm talking with young girls, they're always very confident that, oh, it's normal, you know, I can handle it, you know, blah, blah, blah. Well, it's good to be anyway for me, Sha. For me, it's not something I'm I'm comfortable with. You know, if you have a choice between meeting with an idiot and no meeting, no opinion, Sha, I'd rather no meeting with the idiot, you know, move on. So even though we figured it would be better to go into private institutions, we still had to discuss this meeting with the unethical departmental head because the meeting has been fixed.

The session was going to discuss with the business partner. And, you know, with our business partner, they will know whether they will now go ahead. And I said, OK, no problem. But as you're deliberating, these are some things that you have to be thinking about. And I tried to give her my strongest recommendations and strongest guard rails just in case they're going to be going in for this meeting. So First off, I had to tell my man T that look, realize that you're no longer a small girl because she thinks of herself as a small girl.

So I had to tell her you're a woman now. You cannot afford to think of yourself as a small girl. And I'm talking to women here. Please. I'm not being harsh on women. There are times when I abuse boys and I tell them what needs to be heard. I'm now telling young girls, no, you're 18192025. You've always thought of yourself as daddy's Princess. You know, you're a small girl. You're cutie, you're demure, you're. No, no, no.

All of that crap has to stop. You're not a small girl, a small girl anymore. You are a woman now. You are a grown woman. You need to think of yourself as a woman because when you think of yourself as a small girl, these men, they'll treat you as a small girl. Maybe I shouldn't be talking like this on the podcast. I'm just being frank here because you'll have friends, we'll have Co workers, you know, we, I'm just saying it as it is.

If you see yourself as a small girl, these men, they'll treat you as a small girl. You know that you're a grown woman. Think of yourself as as a grown woman. Walk into spaces knowing that you're a ground you're a grown woman. You're not a small girl anymore. You're not a Princess. You're not cutsie, you're not nothing. You're a woman. Know it on it. It affects the way that you carry your. Please, nobody should send me a message.

I say I'm doing victim blaming. I'm not doing victim blaming here. I'm just talking to you as if you're my sister, as if you're my daughter. I'm not saying you are doing something wrong that is causing men to treat you somehow. No, I'm just being real here. It's like me, if I head into a situation, a meeting, feeling as if, or I mean, nobody or nobody knows my family. Oh, I'm thief. My tribe is not really quite known.

Oh, my surname, my son name, no carry weight. Oh, I don't have backing. It will affect the way that I'm handling myself in meetings. But luckily I grew up with a proud man as my father and a proud woman as my mother. So I grew up thinking that my name meant something. I want to step into a place. And I say, oh, Mr. Yeti for so so so so I'm here for the 12:00. I say it like my name means something because I grew up with proud parents.

And quite honestly, I thought we was something when we're little was long till I grew up. And I started saying that, oh, OK, OK, my parents are proud. But it's not as if we, you understand, it's not as if we gather, it's not as if we have money. So it's the same for guys and for girls. I say my name like it means something because I watched my mom and my dad say their name like it meant something. So it's also the same thing.

You're not a small girl. Nobody should accuse me of victim shaming, please. And even if you accuse me of victim shaming, I don't care for my younger sisters and my cousins. And if God will bless us and I have a daughter, I will talk to her like I'm saying it now #2 I told her, talk openly. We do not handle these things in the quiet when we're handling these things in the quiet. Secret, secret. It is there that mistakes happened and it is there that we've come overpowered.

We talk about these things openly. So just as you and me are talking, go and be talking with your big aunties. Talk to mumsy, talk to family members. Since this guy has not said anything, it's difficult for you to now use your mouth and say something, because after all, the guy has not really said anything or done anything. But you can start having small, small conversations. Oh, Auntie, oh, admire your career in the civil service, in the whatever, whatever,

whatever. Auntie, I'm just curious, did you ever have to face one or two kind of situations? How did you deal with this thing in your career and in business? And then just put it out there and hear what she has to say. Unfortunately, like I told my mentee, you hear some women that won't have anything helpful to say. I'm really, really sorry. It is just a it's just a feature of the the environment that we we've we've grown up in because even for us, like boys there,

some of us, not me, but all my classmates, you know, who are abused when we were when we're little. And by the time they spoke about it, you know, some people will say that you're lucky that you are there and you are this virgin by this woman, by this woman. You are lucky. Yeah. So you're just a pity in this part of the world. We don't have an understanding that just like girls are subject to sexual abuse and emotional abuse and all forms of abuse,

that boy is also subject to that thing as well in this part of the world, sometimes unfortunately seen as Rep. Now if you're a 10 year old boy and a 15 year old girl called you aside and I said, hey, come here. You know, it's a thing of Rep that I see the babe self that you you're lucky anyway. So you might have some things that are not not palatable. I'm sorry, but still we have to talk about these things. Eventually you will talk to someone who will say, my dear,

is something going on, Tell me what is going on and then she'll give you advice. Or even if she doesn't ask, she might tell you about how she dealt with these sorts of things and it'll be advice for how you're supposed to go. Go on going forward. Then pepper spray. Unfortunately in Niger, at least in Abuja, I know some sales associates, especially in real estate space, you know they have it sometimes. I'm sorry, it's just the world we live in.

Female salespeople, you just have your pepper spray because we're meeting strangers all the time. It applies both boys and girls, but you know our own for boys, the you know, the dangers are different. Like I know somebody who was doing both business and I noticed that under his car he kept this, this iron I used to change tire. I said why do you leave this thing here supposed to be in the boot. He said, my brother, if I tell you the things that we see in this Abuja, that you won't believe that I need this thing here because there are some mad people and I need to defend myself.

I said are you serious? He said yes. He started giving me gist, kind of gist that I cannot repeat here on the podcast, you know, but whether it's the iron that used to change tire or whether it's pepper spray, you guys have something because I'm meeting strangers all the time. Then I also told her no meetings in private residences, office or public areas, especially for the first meeting. Eventually I go to people's houses.

It's rare for people to come to my own house. But you know, by the time I'm going to your house, you know, you and me, we're cool. We've related for a while. So that first meeting, office, public place, not in private residences. Then I also spoke about a set of language. This is this whole thing about me saying that, you know, a small girl again, because there's a way that a small girl will handle the situation where somebody is trying to say something or somebody's trying to be informal.

If I can put it that way, there's a way that a small girl will handle it. There's a way that the grown woman will handle it. So assertive language, whenever you feel that your judgment is triggered, assertive language. So by talking to your aunties and talking to other people, you'll be able to come up with words and phrases that suit you. But for me, I have no problem with saying things like I'm uncomfortable with this, this,

this. We have to be assertive about some of these things. I remember, I think I was maybe like 2-3 years into my wedding photography career and then somebody came up. I was like, oh, this thing is going down, it's going to be Hilton Hotel, my office is doing this thing, blah, blah, blah. The person was like the national marketing manager and of course I was, I was happy. I was like, hey, cool, I'm down. So how much are we talking here?

And the guys, OK, no problem. This is how much it is, but this is how much you will put on the invoice and this is how much we'll give you. I know how to tell the guy that, look, I'm honored and you know, I, I love this. I respect you. Thank you. You're my guy for bringing this up. But I am uncomfortable with because for me what I put on the invoice is what I put on the invoice. I don't get into all those arranged, all those arrangements that what I should put on the invoice is, you know, 1.2, but what will be disposed is 5.2 or something like that.

Yeah, I don't play those games. My own is I'll try and be above board as possible and I'll put what it is and I'm going to put, if you're saying that me, I should square you something, no problem. That's between you and me, but I'm not going to go on record and start putting things on paper that you know. So me, I say, you know, straight up, I say I am uncomfortable with, I say this is against my personal ethics or I say my business partners and I prefer to conduct business on the on the different terms.

Then I was in partnership with my brother before then I was in partnership with my brother-in-law. So sometimes let's use them as excuse, you know, if I didn't want to come out and say, you know, it's me, I will now lie and says, you know, it's my brother, or this is unethical behavior or, you know, this is a blessing and professional standards or whatever. See, look, use your own words. But the main thing shy is we have to use assertive language when these things come up, when somebody's trying to get familiar or ask for young men,

when somebody's trying to get you to write a on the invoice. But the real situation is, you know, is actually B + 3 if you can read in between the lines, reading between the lines and the code word is I'm trying to say. So we have to be assertive. One of the reasons why we have to be assertive is because we can't think. We can't keep letting things be insinuated because like this, you know, right now this guy has not said anything.

But if we use assertive language, Sir, I am not comfortable with or it is against my personal ethics or my business partner and I conduct business differently or whatever, at least we'll come out into open. If there was a confusion, let the guy now say, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you are taking things that way. Well, I'm really, really, really strongly sorry. I met no insult. I meant no whatever. At least let the thing come out.

I know sometimes it's difficult to talk about these things because you now come and look like a fool. I've been in that situation where although this was university levels, you know, I thought, I thought the baby was feeling me. I thought we were feeling each other. And you know, apparently I spoke too soon. Next thing she was going on telling people that I'm immature, I'm not a big boy, I'm not a grown man and this and this and that and that.

So I understand sometimes you talk too soon and you now look like an idiot. But in this situation, considering the risk that we are facing, if you are in the room with a possible beach, let let these things come out into open. Let it not be. He said, they said somebody's insinuating, you know, come out and say something politely, respectively, respectfully and assertively. Let him now come out clearly and said, oh, you misunderstood.

If you misunderstood now, OK, you to apologize and then you can, you can propose terms for working together that will not lead to any confusion. Then also recommended attend the meeting with your friend. You tell that friend that is sorry. You tell this person that you're coming for the meeting with a business associate. That's why you tell them. You will tell them I'm coming with my friend for security. You just say I'm coming with a business associate.

The reason why I should come with a business associate is because there's security in numbers. It is only very skilled predators who will look at you. Maybe you came with your friend. It's only a very skilled predator who say ah correct 2 babes mom Bush meets. The average predator is not when you try and tackle 2 of you at the same time. So there's security in numbers. Then I also now said OK good, the meeting has been decided.

So what we are going to do is we're going to have a pre meeting call, a pre meeting conference, a pre meeting group call, a pre meeting WhatsApp call, pre meeting, Zoom call, pre meeting, something with your business partner in the loop. When you do this kind of thing, everything now is beginning to seem official, is now beginning to seem in the open. In the open. This is not you, is no longer him talking with you in questionable circumstances is now coming out, out, out.

And then for the pre meeting call. This was the basic framework that I recommended to her, the same framework that I recommend to all of you guys listening. It's always starts out with greeting, then you state your intention, then you ask some questions, then you make a proposal, and then you close. That is, you get the person to take action again. The simple framework is you start with the appropriate greeting, after that you state your intentions, then you ask some questions, then you give your proposal and then you close.

So for the greeting, ask my mentee now when you're talking to this guy, what do you say? She said I call him Sir and I said very good. Why do you call him Sir? She said to remind him no. I said hey, very good. You call him Sir. You have to politely remain remind this idiot this good. You have to remind him of his station in life. Unfortunately, not everybody takes the hint. It was one of my friends in university who for house a very big contract with the school,

she used to supply samples. What do you call these samples? Like when you make skeletons and things like that? Because her father was a former zoologist or something, I can't remember that profession. And they used to create a samples and sell to sell to schools. So she went for a meeting, everything was cool, everything was OK. And they were laughing. Everybody was feeling cool. And then the mouse went up to get something and then she had the door lock back and she was giving me this story.

She said she doesn't know what over overcame her, fell on her knees and started crying and weeping immediately. And she said, Sir, think of me as your daughter, Sir, that I am a child to you, Sir. You are a daddy to us, Sir. I'm just a small girl trying to help me and my family, Sir. And she said by the time she was done, that he was thoroughly embarrassed. He locked the door, He unlocked the door. He apologized. The the deal went on as.

And you know, from then on there was no laughing, no joking, no nothing, nothing, nothing, No hanky panky. So yes, greeting you. Will call him Sir. You will politely remind him of his station. Let him let it get into his. Head that he should stop this goat like behaviour. You don't be a goat, you don't just eat anything then intention. So good afternoon Sir. Remember this is a pre meeting call. Good afternoon Sir. The reason why I'm calling is concerning our meeting for XYZ

date. I want us to discuss a few things beforehand so that when I come over there, we can have a productive conversation for us and our organization. Sir, is it OK if I ask you some questions? Of course you will say yes. If he's trying to weave it, then he's looking more like he's the idiot that I suspect he is. Sorry. Well, those of you. Who are public officials or who are related to public officials? I'm not saying every single head of department is an idiot.

I'm just saying this particular guy who he looks like he's trying to eat fresh meat, I'm just saying him in particular he's an idiot. So I'm not saying all Hods are idiots, so please don't miscoat me. Then. The questions that you now ask when he says is OK is you now tell him I am coming with XYZ, my business associate. So I forgot to tell you before now, are you OK with that? And hear what he has to say If he's beginning to forge on this thing, we now know that.

OK, maybe this cause for alarm. You will also ask him. Sir, will you be inviting anyone else from your own organization? Because of course, we'll be nice to know. And then he also is a hint, you know, as well, you know, the nature of this meeting that you're going for, you know, as if you're a small girl who is going in for a meeting that might overrun. And no, no, no. Well, we're going to be grown as women in this situation.

We're going to be grown. I handle this thing very very assertively. In my own opinion, if the. Guy is trying to avoid some of these things. You know, he's not calling anybody else. You, why are you bringing somebody else? Don't you have the authority to negotiate on your own behalf? I thought you were a grown woman. And we can talk about this. By the time all these things start entering, you know, I'm thinking that or more.

Something's not adding up. Then you'll also ask another question. When we have this meeting, if we're able to achieve XYZ, do you think it will be reasonable for you to introduce me to other stakeholders so we can explore this solution? The more please use your own words by the way. And you also ask which other people should those be? Because remember what I said at the beginning, right now we are single threading and it's a problem.

We need to multi thread. We need to start getting a sense of which other stakeholders need to be on board so that we can close this deal also because the security numbers. He's going to introduce me to 5. Or six other people, you know the security numbers. But like I said, if it turns out that all the people that introduce you introduce you to our goats as well, please leave of this situation. Because nobody is in charge.

Of your destiny. I repeat please. Young ladies, nobody is in charge of your destiny. If it turns out that this organization is full of goats, full of idiots, please leave. You will survive somehow. I'm currently working on something now. The lady is a former model. She left the modeling industry precisely because of all these problems. At some point she was like what the hell, I cannot stay in this industry anymore and she left.

I'm not saying that this is what all models have to deal with. I'm just saying that the only model that I know who tried and gave the career some push, that was her own experience and she said I am done and she left. And she has been able to make a. Living, doing other things. She currently has an NGO that is devoted to all these sorts of issues. Say no, Say no to rape, you know, all these sorts of things. That's her thing, precisely because of what she has lived.

And her and her husband they. Are fine. Her children are currently in university. They have been good and God, God, and their effort has carried them through the decades since when she tried our supermodelling career up until now. Funny enough, her. Baby daughter also wants to be a model. But anyway, that's a conversation for another, you know, they come from a very fine family, all of them tall skin, like a balum or slim, you know,

and mainly that's the conversation that do sort out themselves. So I'm just trying to say that look, nobody owns your destiny. Please, young ladies, nobody is holding your destiny. Don't feel as if if you don't get this deal that you are, you are done for. Then after asking all these. Questions you will the proposal stage now. So OK if you're good at everything. So we'll see at XYZ for ABC time. Once you're agreed, you will now say OK.

Sir, I will ping you a reminder when me and my associate are on the way. Let him know me and my business associate will be on the way then. You go for that meeting, although left to me, Shah. Like I said, if you think we're dealing with an idiot, I rather you not take that meeting. That is just me. So I'm talking to my small cousins, this kind of thing. My honest opinion is, you know, just free this thing. It's not by force.

Then the last tip I give to. Her is this and this one I'm going to give to all of you when you're approaching this kind of conversation, regardless of whether they're idiots or not. You. Have to come correct and you have to start. How I put it, you have to. Demonstrate value or start showing value before the meeting. And in this case, one way that you could have done that was to have led with. Other Nigerian parastate.

Parastatals have started using similar AI solutions because yes, it is currently happening. I just want to get into details and say exactly what is that they're working on in this case. Get reports, get newspaper printing, get case studies, get whatever to show because it's possible that you're trying to talk that she's talking to this organization, but this organization has not seriously considered whether AI can work in this particular government parastatal.

I know some of you are listening to the podcast. You're laughing now you're saying that me, I'm living in a dream cloud and that my mentee is living in a dream cloud that we think Nigerian parastatals are going to be integrating AI in any meaningful fashion. Well, I. Have bad. News for you, I'll be good news for you. There are some organizations, there are some parastatals that have started using these things in different sectors.

So it's. Just a matter of getting. All these things, I'm bringing them there. It will help to challenge the paradigm in case these people in this particular government parastatal have not started thinking how can we use AI. Apart from that, they are specific government regulators that have started pushing for policies for adopting AI in different kinds of contexts in Nigeria. So the conversation is happening. So you're going to be able to have, you'll be able to have a stronger meeting if you can get there.

Saying that your sister agencies, I think you say your sister agencies. So like if you're talking to somebody in Ministry of Finance and somebody in Ministry of Commerce has done something, you know, you can say those are sister agencies. You can say look your sister agency is already using tools such as XYZ. In your own department. Does it feel like this is a priority right now? And then keep quiet and you have what it is.

You hear what it is that they have to say. But either way, you're coming and. You're. Challenging the paradigm that they have, you're trying to wake them up. You're showing yourself to be a valuable resource and that you're educated. But anyway, the overall big. Mistake basically is never book a meeting to show someone the value of your solution. No, don't say you're fixing a meeting to show somebody. This is why my thing is good.

The first interaction should be on the phone or should be on Zoom or should be on WhatsApp. And the goal of that first interaction is to see whether these people are facing any problem that your product or your service can help with. If they are interested now, by the time you mentioned a price range, they are not scared, then go ahead and schedule a meeting when we'll talk about that in other episodes. Or you can just check all the episodes that I did around qualification and discovery.

Just search my podcast on YouTube. Just type in Tavi Shima podcast qualification discovery, conversation framework, you know, stuff like that. Type it on YouTube. I have over 1100 episodes and the episodes that I have made should come up and you learn some more about that. Oh, sorry, one moment. Let me just check the boys. Let me sure that nobody has drop kick another person. OK, I'm back and I have. Confirmed my boys have not killed themselves yet.

So that's it today on the show. That's all. Remember, if you have any sales and marketing questions, then bring them to me. You can call, you can SMS or WhatsApp me on 08064662140. Thank you very much for your time and attention. I'll catch you, dear listener, at the next episode. And apologies if you know I used language that was too colorful or inappropriate. It's just that this is serious matter and I'm trying to treat this matter realistically and give it the level of, I don't know what would I say, attention or frankness or whatever that it deserves.

Because for those of us who are customer facing, we're always chasing one or two deals. You know, there's a couple of things we face, you know, particularly women who are facing certain kinds of vulnerabilities. So please, let's keep educating ourselves. Let's learn how to protect ourselves and let's learn how to handle these things well, because there will always be idiots, you know, our own choice to make sure that we can protect ourselves.

And then for those of us men who happen to be in positions of all I put in now, you know, somebody's chasing something and you're the one that seems to be holding the keys. You know, I didn't say you should not find wife or they shouldn't have side chick or they shouldn't find baby. But let's realize that there's ways that we can handle this thing nicely and professionally and everybody will be happy. So just like I can't remember if he's Judico so call, but whoever it is the the Nigerian actor who does how he met his wife that was a sales was a sales girl.

You know, there are some people too that they are looking for husband and they actually think you're cute and actually think, you know, everything is pure. So that's some people that are ready and that's some people that are willing. You know, it doesn't always have to be that you're trying to pull something up on someone or just trying to strong arm someone. Let's keep everything nice, official professional, you know,

and then afterwards you shoot your shot. If she thinks you're cute, no problem, all is well and good. You will be enjoying yourself. No, if she doesn't think. You're OK and Oh well, on to the next one. You know, for first you don't succeed, you know, you dust yourself off and try again. And that's what Aliyah said now. So oh, OK, bad. Example because. R Kelly actually was. Anyway, let me just end it here so I'll catch you guys in the next episode.