How to Decode Customer Conversations: Are They Ready to Buy or Just Being Friendly?

Hello and welcome to the show. It's a wonderful Saturday afternoon over here in Abuja. So let's get right down to business. Today's question, or rather it's not really a question today because I didn't get this question, but I think it's something that we ought to be talking about working on the podcast because I'm currently coaching a sales engineer and two sales sales staff for a client of mine. And this is something that has come up time and time again because when we're having conversations with prospects,

with potential clans, it's nice to be able to figure out when we're getting buying signs or buying signals or if we're interpreting things the wrong way and what we have is a misleading signal. So how can you differentiate between a buying signal or a misleading signal or a buying sign or, you know, you get the whole idea. You have to be able to figure out when you're having a conversation with someone, what do you see that gives you the green light so you can press on or what are you seeing that gives you the yellow light or the red light and perhaps you need to lean back and maybe there's some something that needs to be repaired in the relationship.

So that's essentially what we're trying to figure out today. If you still don't understand what it is that I'm grasping at, I'm going to assume that if you're listening to this podcast right now since the youngest listeners, that we have 18. OK, Well, we do have some 16 year olds, but that's the smallest cohort people who listen to the show. But even if you're that young, I'm sure you guys remember from. OK, Well, yeah, I remember.

Or you're currently experiencing that you're in secondary school. There's this guy that you like, there's this girl that you like, you're trying to have a conversation with them. And sometimes some things happen and it makes you feel like we're making progress. We might actually get into a relationship and then some things happen and you feel like that was cringe. It looks like I'm going to be dropped. Or she prefers someone else, or he likes a different kind of girl.

But you get the whole point. So this is essentially what it is that we're trying to discuss today, but in a business context. How do you know if this relationship is off to a good start or how do you know if the person is just trying to be polite and really they're not just that into you? So let's start off by defining the terms what the buying signal is. The buying signal is any statement, any action. So it has to be something that the person has said, something that the person has done.

It could be somebody language that shows that this potential customer that I'm talking to, this prospect that I'm talking to is ready to move ahead with the transaction, move ahead with the relationship, move ahead with the agenda, move ahead with whatever it is on the table. So if they do something, they say something that shows they might be interested in moving ahead, then what we have is a buying signal. Sometimes the buying signal can be a cost.

And that was why, that's why I'm considering this question today because for the sales engineer that I'm coaching, OK, I'll, I'll define what a sales engineer is. Well, basically it's a technical sale. And so for the sales engineer, the customer said something and I considered it to be a buying signal. So if the customer says ask the question, like, how much does it cost? How soon can you deliver? Is this thing going to match with my XYZ when you guys install it?

Because remember, we're talking about the technical situation here where the firm in question sells some technical components that have to be merged with the other person's business. So when people start asking questions like that, it could be a bang signal. So it's not every single time that someone says, how much does it cost that, you know, you start salivating and you think, oh, I have a deal. I'm going to be, I'm going to be rich.

It's not every single time somebody asks how soon can you deliver or, you know, all these sorts of questions. But I'm just saying that depending on the context, depending on how we read it, what came before, what goes after, it might be a bang signal or it might not be a bang signal. So it's going to be a misleading signal or it's going to be a misleading indicator, or it's going to be a false signal, or it's going to be whatever it is that you want to call it.

If the statements or the actions, if you have misread them to think that the buyer is ready to go ahead and you're trying to press forward and then you're meeting some resistance. So what is the difference between a buying signal and a misleading signal? The difference is it's contextual, so it's not down to the thing itself. So it's not what did this person say in particular, but what did this person say within this context in combination to whether whichever factors that is what let you know what they have a buying signal or not.

Now, the reason why this is important is because if you don't figure out these sorts of things, buying signals, misleading signals, red light, yellow light, green light, if you can't figure all these things out, you're going to have a lot of misplaced optimism in your business deals. You're going to be running and thinking or more, this is a deal. This is a deal, this is a deal. And then you get your heart broken and then tomorrow you think, Oh my man, this is a deal, correct?

I'm going to get like 1M on this deal. And then you get your heart broken And then next week you're thinking, oh, this is a deal. Like I'm going to make so much money from this thing. And then you tell your wife, I'll be, we're going to be able to do this. We'll do this, that, that vacation. I promise you something, something, something. And then you get your heart broken. You don't figure this thing out. Misplace optimism.

I mean, after a while, the thing it wears on your, on your, what's that word? Motivation? Yeah, can get your motivation all out of whack. So the problem is that you just don't know how to figure these things out. And that is why it is important. We need to know so that we don't have misplaced optimism. We don't have wasted effort when talking to potential customers. If you know how to figure out red light, yellow light, green light, you will be able to pace yourself accordingly.

You'd be able to lead in hard on the green lights, slow down and reconsider on the yellow lights and on the red lights. So that's why all of these things are important. So how do we navigate these ambiguities? Because believe me, there are loads of ambiguities, especially if you're coming into this thing new. If you didn't realize that these sorts of things exist, so #1 remember what I told you that one signal is not enough.

So we should be looking for a pattern of behaviours. If somebody says how much does this cost? And then you give the price and she's scrunching her nose and folding her hands and, you know, it looks like she's about to walk away. I mean, clearly in that situation what you have is not a buying signal. So we're not looking for one signal. We're looking for a combination of different things. We're looking for a pattern of positive behaviours, positive behaviour, positive behaviour,

positive behaviour. She now ask how much does this cost? That's a good thing, but if she's been negative throughout the whole thing and then she's asking how much does it cost it, it might not signal anything in particular. So we're actually are looking for a pattern of positive behaviours. And that's the reason why I keep telling listeners over here on the podcast that we should have a much more process oriented philosophy when it comes to sales.

You're following the process. Step one, Step 2, Step 3. If you have green lights on step 123, yellow on 456 and then 789 look green and maybe red on number 10. Overall is looking like the normal ups and downs, time of business. You know, it's something that you might be able to close. So we're looking for a pattern of positive behaviors. 1 signal is not enough. So it is possible for somebody to say, OK, let me go to the wedding photography example since that's why I started off.

This was for somebody to say you are the best wedding photographer I have seen in my life hands down. But that might not be a positive. That might not be a buying signal. The person might just be giving you props because props is due, but you're not going to close that deal because of a number of factors. So I'm looking for a pattern of positive behaviors. So if you've had a pleasant rapport, they give you the props, they say, how much does it cost and how soon can we begin?

Then in that case, you can see that positive things are lining up. So we're not looking for one signal, we're looking for multiple signals. Then one thing that a lot of us fail to do, we also have to evaluate their urgency and commitment. People don't ask questions about timelines. We should, but it definitely is a good sign when the customer is the one who is asking about timelines and next steps. That's a very good sign.

If if you have had the pricing conversation and the person say I am but will still price, will still price, but then they're still asking you, I need this thing by social so and so. So how should we install or when are we going to install? Can your engineer come to site by social so and so? OK, what should the next step be and blah, blah, blah. If they're asking those questions, actually it is a good thing because most people if they're having a bad experience or they're not convinced and not going to ask those kinds of things.

I remember my first phone call when I started off as a wedding photographer, I decidedly becoming and start high end. So the lady called me and this was a while ago, let's say 15 years ago. So the lady called me, we had a nice chat and this is OK. How much? And I said 400 K. She said thank you. And of course I was stumbling and stuttering, tried to get the conversation going again and she was like no, no, no thank you.

You want to build house on my head? No, no problem. Thank you. It's OK. Thank you. Thank you. It's OK. And that's how the conversation ended. So if I said 400 Ki was like, OK, fantastic, no problem. So when do you need the payment by how many wedding photographs are they going to be? How am I, how soon am I going to get the wedding album? Do I have to come to your studio with my my fiance so we can have a look at samples?

So that's a different kind of conversation. So you can see that we have multiple signals there and then the person is now the one who is bringing up commitment issues and timeline issues and things like that. So we have to be discussing these things. If they bring it up, it's a good sign. But even if they're not bringing up, you are the one that should be bringing up these things. So whether you are the wedding photographer, you're a cake Baker, or you're a deep sea engineer and you're discussing with Shell or whatever, your Shell is not asking you those questions.

You need to be asking Shell these questions. OK, this project on the side ML something, something, something when is ground breaking ceremony? When are we expected to break grounds to lift oil to do this to do you know, you engineering people, you you know what it is I'm talking about. You should be asking these kinds of questions. When you ask these questions, you're going to get all the information that you need to be able to evaluate that.

OK, all these things that are going on now, is this green light, yellow light or red light? Is this buying signal? Well, of course. Or is this you're missing the plot. You know you don't miss Rd. This deal is dying. We need to be asking urgency, commitment questions. We should be asking questions about timelines, asking questions about next steps, asking questions about potential obstacles. We should be bringing these things up.

Let's not assume that because they haven't said anything that there's no problem. We need to ask then. I already made podcast episodes on how on this whole thing of handling objections or handling conditions, but we need to know what the difference is. An objection basically is when somebody has a challenge or a concern, somebody might think this thing is a good idea and the person wants to buy your, your, whatever it is.

Let me think of something. Gosh, what can I think of? OK, AC, the person wants to buy. Let's say you sell air conditioners. The person wants to buy your AC, your 7 horsepower, whatever. But then the person is thinking that OK, the room that I the room that I want it in actually is a portacabin. So if it is a house, we know that you dig a hole in the wall and something, something, something. But what I have is a portacabin on an engineering site or something.

How do we So excuse me, sorry about that. My children as long as usual cold and then now I'm the one who has usually I'm one who mops up the viruses as I just get the the illness after them. I guess it's the weather, you know, as by rainy season and all that. So I was like, OK, so objections. So objection is when someone has a concern, how is this thing going to work? I don't understand this, you know, blah, blah, blah.

Those are objections. Now if someone is giving you sometimes an objection can be an excuse. That's why somebody wants to politely decline because they don't want to don't want to avoid confrontation. So sometimes if a man says, let me talk to my wife, sorry about that. So sometimes if a man says, let me talk to my wife, I'll get back to you next week. It could be an objection because he has challenges and concerns. He doesn't know that Omo, I like this thing, but will wifey like this thing.

Let me not go and spare 500K or something. And then my wife will now be will now be squeezing her face. But you need to ask the question. Someone says I'll get back to you next week. Let me speak to let's speak to my wife about it. You know, you lean into objection. So yeah, sure. Fantastic. You know, me personally, I wouldn't spend close to 500K without discussing my wife. You know, I know Allah. But if wifey was here, like,

what do you think she would feel about this or feel about that? I think I have the conversation that you know me, I like this thing about wifey is like this wifey is like that. You know, I'm not sure. Excuse me. I need to confirm this. I need to confirm that. And if you ask the question, are you able to get him to start talking on the matter, you will now be able to adapt according to say, OK, I know Allah, no problem.

If these are these are the kind of concerns, how about we set up a phone call with wifey tomorrow, like around that kind 10:30 so that any questions you ask me, I'll be able to answer. How about that? If the guys in here he will say no Allah, no problem. That works. You say 10:30 I'll be and 10:30 is good and no problem. And then yeah, you're good to go. He gives you wifey's number or you agree you're coming out to the house or they're coming over to your office or whatever it is.

So you see that in this case, that's an objection. The guy had a challenge. He had a concern. You resolve it by helping him out. Sometimes it's an excuse. Sometimes. Let me talk to my wife. I'll get back to you next week. Actually, what the guy is thinking is you're an idiot. You want to charge me 500 K for what? You're an idiot. No problem. You will see mobile. No problem. But he doesn't tell you that That's what he's thinking in his mind.

He just tells you, well, let me talk to my wife. I'll call you back next week. You're not going to know if it's an objection or if it's an excuse unless you engage in more conversations leaning and you're trying to figure out what it is that is going on. So we have to be able to figure out what an objection, what an excuse, what is the condition. Conditions are prerequisites. There are things that absolutely need to happen before you go into business with someone.

Let me give the example of, OK, let me go back to wedding photography things. The lady that I was talking to, the one I said 400 K, she said thank you. No, no, it's OK. No, no problem. You want to build house, you want to build house on my head and no problem. Thank you, thank you. No, I say it's OK now there's no problem. And really that was how the conversation went. It was it was pathetic. I think that's the worst business conversation I've ever had in my entire life.

And then plus after that, I now got scared and I went the other way and I started charging 50K ended up doing my first wedding at 50K. So I started off on one end. Let me do high end. I charge 400 grand, the leading diagreed the next person and I went down to 50K. Wendy, that's a conversation for another day. And I know that there are people listening to the podcast right now who have gone through that kind of swing as well.

So yeah, you hit me up on on LinkedIn or WhatsApp. It'll be nice to trade stories, you know, hear your own examples, especially if you don't mind them being shared over here on the podcast. So where was I? Conditions and prerequisites. If the babe calls you to ask how far are you available for so, so and so date? How much does it cost for wedding photography? But The thing is, she's not engaged. The boyfriend has not proposed yet, or he has proposed but the family has not met and they've not agreed on the date.

There are some conditions and there are some prerequisites missing. You need to ask these questions and find out because it shows that it's likely that this deal might not close because the conditions or the prerequisites have not been met. So you can see now that this is a range objection, excuse, prerequisite. You have to become good at deciphering, freaking out these sorts of things. That is why it's important to listen to these kinds of podcasts.

Apart from listening to Jizz podcast, music podcast, everything. Pay attention to these kinds of podcasts as well. It doesn't have to be my own podcast, any podcast, so long as we're discussing these sorts of things. They make you more astute in business to be able to figure out what it is that is going on. Then to try and figure out if we have red light, green light, do we have a bank signal? We have to start seeking specific commitments or what some of us call advancements or agreements or the next action to take or the next item on the agenda.

Don't allow somebody to say something like I'm interested, this looks good. And then you start rejoicing and then you send your wife a message and be like, ah, babe, this deal is going to close. You know, don't you know, start asking for specific things. If someone says I'm interested, you don't celebrate and say, ah, correct, this is a close deal. So OK, cool. So you're interested, what part of the proposal I guess you jazzed up or what particularly in this do you like?

Oh, OK, all right. So if you like this and this and this, then if you like this and this and this, these ranges, they come up within cost. Anything between this and this and I would need between that and that to be able to make this happen. Is that something you can do right now? You can say I'm asking a specific question that if you like option one and option two, they can cost anything between 400K and 600K. So between both of them, is this something you'd be willing to invest in right now?

I asked the question. You can say that I'm asking something specific. And then the person says, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I would like to price, but that can work. The person says something like that. That's good. We're getting some specific specificity. Yes, we're getting some specificity. So in that case, that's a good sign. I can still even make it more specifically. OK, no problem. You want to negotiate? Well, we're talking right now.

How about we go ahead and just hand it out. See, you can always move things one step forward, get one small commitment, move things forward one step, one step, move from item 3 to item 4 to item 5 on the agenda. So we should always be speaking that trying to do that. We should be seeking for that. We should be aiming for specific commitments. So try and book a follow up meeting or let me see or try and get a date when both of you are going to discuss the proposal that you've already sent.

Or you guys can start examining timelines and making commitments based on timelines. That's also something I told the engineer that when somebody says Oh yes, we're good to go on this, you need to now press with the timeline now, OK, if you're happy to start with this particular product, if we need this project to be viable by December 30, the boys need to be on the field by October 1st. For the boys to be on the field by October 1st, they need to be mobilized 2 weeks before.

If they're going to be mobilized 2 weeks before, we would need payment to be made not later than one week before XYZ date. So our got potential customer if you want this project to be finished by. December 30, you actually need to make the first payment today, 7th of June, or you know, next week, 21st of June or whatever. You need to have that conversation. You see, we're getting commitments, we're sharing timelines, we're trying to get advancements or making things clear, clear, clear, clear,

clear. If we're having green lines, if everything has been green light, green lit all through, then of course, we'll move straight into the execution phase. If the person starts stalling, let me talk to my wife, let me talk to my business partner, let me talk to my investors, let me talk to other stakeholders. Then you know that you've missed something in the sales process. And I've made podcast episodes about how you deal with objections.

So after you're done listening to this one, skip back a couple. You'll be able to find it or just use listen notes. Listen to my podcast through Listen Notes. You'll be able to search within the podcast and then find the episodes where I've spoken about things like that, like how to deal with objections. Then let's see finally. Aha, yes, the big one, especially the one that I saw in the wedding space, the one that used to reduce us to tears and utter confusion, as in utter confusion.

Do not confuse friendliness with commitment. Let me repeat it one more time. Do not confuse friendliness with commitment. The fact that somebody is friendly with you, the two of you are shining teeth and laughing now does not automatically translate into a deal. It does not mean that it's going to happen. And those of us in the wedding space, we have seen this plenty. OK, I'm no more in the wedding space, but I started off there.

We have seen it plenty. You be with the bride, you guys are flowing, you and the groom, you guys are jisting, you even buy them beer. And you guys are just like you're getting on like a house on fire. And I wonder you call them and like how far they say, oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you, but we're actually going ahead with a coolie coolie photo photograph our wedding instead and after the queer now watching that ha, what happened now like we were vibing, we were cool.

They came to the studio, everything was cool. I wanted their house, everything was cool. We won't hung out. So like everything was going on fine. Like what happened now it's coolie. The one that happened to me was my my uncle. I called him to say what's up next. I said sorry, my uncle, my uncle gifted us a photographer for the wedding and now I was now confused like I thought we were friends anyway. So don't confuse friendliness with commitment.

It happens all the time. You guys can be now, you can be best friends, you like the same football teams, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't mean that the deal is going forward. That is the reason why all the preceding tips, all the preceding ideas that we've spoken about over the last 20 minutes, that is why all these things are important so that you can be vibing and be feeling cool and feeling friendly.

But if this is not a deal, you will know quickly and you know when to stop and you know when to get out and not waste your time. There's no point in spending three months with people becoming best friends only for the deal to not close. If you will are doing best friends, but this deal is not going to close. It will pay you to find out in week one or week two and then move on to someone else instead of wasting three weeks, sorry,

three months. Building rapport, building friendliness, and anything is not going to work. On the other hand, there are those deals where both of you are like strangers in church or something and there's no love, there's no vibe. So excuse me, but then somehow the deal closes. You need to be able to figure out these things too. Maybe you're dealing with people who are emotionally unavailable or more shy or more reserved or more, whatever.

You have to be able to figure out what it is that is going on. Is this a green light? Is this a yellow light? Is this a red light? So that's why all the things that we've spoken about so far are important. So summary of everything I've been saying is you have to take the initiative to figure out what is really going in really going on. Don't fall into the camp of people who say buyers are liars because they've made friends with people the deal did not close or they say customers aren't serious because you thought you had a good deal here.

You think you didn't close. Or they say people don't know what they want. I've heard that one a lot like don't mind them customers. I've had it in the wedding space. I don't mind them. This bridge, she doesn't even know what she wants. She actually knows what she wants. You just didn't take the initiative to figure out exactly what it is that was going on. Nigerians are polite, so she didn't want to be rude. That's why they were just you know, you guys have the conversation, you buy them beer,

they will drink your beer. You guys hang out, you know, they'll pay you compliments about how you're the best photographer and or you went to University of Aberdeen to OK, yes, I was there, that's where we met blah, blah, blah. She just doesn't know how to tell you that you're a nice guy, but actually we professional. So the problem is not the customers. The problem is you stop being a victim of the sales process. Take control over how some of these things turn out.

Keep listening to this podcast. Also subscribe to other business podcasts and you will learn how to figure out. Do I have a buying signal? Is this a green light? Is this a willing partner in business or is this a red light? Do I need to make AU turn because this deal is never going to close. So that's all for today. Remember to connect with me on WhatsApp. The phone number is the same 08064662140. The country code is +234.

And also connect with me on LinkedIn. My name is Tamashima Ayede. You can confirm the spelling of my name and e-mail address from the link you're currently listening to. The link you're currently using. Abby, how do I say it again? I've forgotten. I've forgotten my closing spiel. You sure you can confirm everything from the link where you're listening to this episode? So thanks for your time and attention. I'll catch you guys at the next episode.