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Hello, and welcome to the show. Today's going to be a noisy episode because the kids are home. You know, school is not back in session yet, and I'm not an audio booth. And today's also going to be a rambling episode because I just discovered one of my old notes from a couple of days ago. It was a strategy session that I had with a young fella. I didn't, I don't have permission to use his name, so let's just call him Jackie Chan.
So this is a strategy session that I had with Jackie Chan. He's in the interior business, interior decor business. Some of you might be wondering if that is my specialty and actually it's not. It just happens to be a coincidence that in the last, you know, four or five weeks that some of the engagements and conversations I've had have been around interior decor. So no interior decor space management. That is not my area of specialty.
My area of specialty is sales, especially personal selling, because I'm convinced that one of the reasons why lots of businesses don't do well is because we don't know how to have conversations with people, how to open up the conversation, get to know them, figure out what their problem is from that, make relevant recommendations. And then after that, you know, secure the commitment, close the sale, fulfill it, make sure that they're happy.
And then get people to come back to do business again. And also send their friends, their family members and their associates and hopefully their enemies as well to do business with us because all money is good money, not up to a certain point anyway. So, yeah, so that's my area of specialty sales and business development. And like I keep saying on the podcast, these kind of skills that I have just mentioned are universal and they apply to all kinds of businesses.
So you can take it and apply it to a plumbing business, to an interior decor business, to law business or to your medical practice if you are a doctor, or to your architecture practice. So bottom line is just a coincidence that I'm talking to or rather than I'm revealing another conversation with an interior decor person today, it's just a coincidence. Then let's see what else. OK, so shout outs. So First off, I'm going to shout out.
OK, you know what? I'm just going to shout out one guy now. But there are plenty because I think there are like 4 that reached out today. So I need to take my time, go fish them out from LinkedIn and WhatsApp and then address them properly. So First off, shout out to Yusuf. He is a student of computer science and currently a copywriter. And he's glad for the podcast because he says that it is very insightful. And I'm happy to, I'm happy about those of you who reach out to say that the podcast is insightful.
But Please remember what I say on the show and when we talk one-on-one, remember what I say that if the podcast is very, very insightful, but you guys don't find one thing to do, you know, tomorrow or next tomorrow to move the business forward, then I personally feel like I would have failed in starting this podcast. So the whole point is not just to wow you guys and to show you guys that I'm smart and brilliant. The point is to make sure that I'm dropping stuff that you guys can do every single day.
You hear something today, OK, today is a Monday night. You hear something today, you write it down Tuesday morning, 8:00 AM, apply and then try and see how you can move your business forward. So Yusuf, thank you very much for listening to the show and others like Yusuf who are still students in uni. What you're trying to do, one or two hustles, please, please, please, please continue. That is the way forward. It is going to get rough when you get to part 5.
You know, final year, that's, you know, whether you're a five year course, 4 year course or seven-year course. So that final year part is going to get really, really rough because you know, academic workload, especially those of us who came in year 1 and didn't really play, I mean who didn't really study, ended up playing too much. So that final year, that's when you're now going to start sweating bullets to see how you can raise your GP.
Or by the way, for those of you who have just entered uni, just so you know, in Nigeria anyway, in Nigeria, we use a cumulative GPA. So bottom line is this, if you F up in year 1, you are screwed. So that's just how it works. Unfortunately, it's cumulative. So you're better off coming in, in year 1 and making sure that you're doing average, average, average, average. And then you finish with A22 or A21, then come in year 1 and then you play your life away.
And then year 2, you're trying to now catch up, you know, with a cumulative system, grade point average system, with cumulative GPA. There's no catching up. Where was I? So I was just saying that those of you who are in uni, yeah, continue. Year 5 is going to get rough. You feel like you're trying to catch up. Even though there's no catching up, you still feel like, well, let me do my best, you know, but a bunch of as in final year is not going to make up for the fact that you got lots of ES in year 1.
Then there's also going to be the pressure of what's it called a project. Yes, your, your project, your, your thesis. And then for those of you who are in maybe like architecture, you know, you do your defence. I think architecture, computer science, you guys do defence, at least in OU anyway. They used to do defence in very, very good schools like OAU. Those of you who went to second rate universities, like, you know, all these state universities and all these private universities, I'm sure you guys don't do defence.
Then let's see what else? Relationships. Yeah, relationships is also going to be a source of stress because, you know, as a young woman, you've been dating this guy since year 1 and you know, all those questions of oh, where are we heading, blah, blah, blah. What are we, you know, because you guys are on the precipice of, you know, graduating NYSE and all that. And then if you're a young man also that whole stress as well,
like, OK, I've been dating this girl since I was in here too. Should I propose, should I not propose, you know, blah, blah, blah. But bottom line, what I'm trying to say is for those of you who are in school and doing it as a side hustle, yes, all these pressures are going to be there, but please continue because it is the beginning of setting yourself up for a successful future. It doesn't matter if Yousuf continues to do copywriting in the future, but the skills that he's learning now in copywriting and in talking to people,
introducing himself to people, negotiating with people, trying to manage projects, all those things are going to come in very handy in whatever it is that Yousuf chooses to do in future. All right, sorry about that. Today's intro has, OK, Today has to be the longest intro, 7 minutes. So let me get straight into the meat of the matter. So like I said, today's going to be a conversation that I had with Jackie Chan. Not his real name, but I don't have permission to use his real name, so that's why I'm going to call him Jackie Chan.
So excuse me, where was I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he is in interior decor and space management, and we spoke about a couple of things. The strategy session with him was supposed to have been around how to attract and retain customers because that is the podcast that he listened to. And he liked the ideas where I spoke about how to market to people that you're close to. And then he also wanted to discuss some more things around simple and complex business sales scenarios.
And I wanted our strategy session to be about how the ideas that he had on the podcast, I was going to apply that to his business to move his business forward. Because remember, for me, I'm all about practical. It's not just all about theory, theory, theory, because theory sounds sweet. But The thing is, we actually have to do something to see the changes in changes in the business. We actually have to apply something so that all the sweet theory we know leads to business growth and let's see what else.
So that's what it was supposed to have been about. But then sometimes, you know, you head into client engagements, you want it to be about one thing, but then you guys start talking and then it ends up becoming something else entirely. And so we ended up talking about, well, we, well, first of all, we started off, started off trying to make sure that he got his, his messaging correct because a lot of people you're trying to talk to your friends,
family members and associates and strangers, but you're coming off with the wrong messaging. And of course, he started off with the whole thing of superior quality, superior materials, you know, those sorts of things. And we had to have a conversation about that because look, let's be honest, your competition is saying that everybody says that they have superior quality and superior materials. Then we had started off on that note when he started asking a couple of questions and then the conversation sort of changed.
And then, OK, we abandoned that whole part about what makes his business distinct. And then we ended up talking about his his customer service, customer service follow up and how they get how he gets referrals because he's been in business not for too long, but he's one of these folks that has started off with enough, enough deal flow to get things going. And I figured he could be getting more in referrals. And so in talking about his referrals, we now figured that there were a couple of gaps in how it is like he does business because Jackie Chan, not the real Jackie Chan, you know, as in the guy that I'm talking about now I'm just calling him Jackie Chan because this guy is a very noble fellow.
So yeah, Jackie Chan, he, he has this error, this mistake that a whole bunch of us Nigerians making business, which is we don't have the debrief process. It's called different things by different people. I just like to call it debrief. And this is the idea behind the debrief when you do the thing, OK, let me use inverters because somebody who reached out to me today is in the inverter and solar panel space. So when you do the thing, you install the solar panel, you need to have that part of your business process where you call the person up or you go to the house, you go to the office.
There has to be that part where you just show up and say, Olga, Madame boss, you know, whoever, how far. I hope everything is working OK. Nothing is parking. All my people are professional. They didn't leave the place dirty. How is the battery holding up? You know that conversation, all these conversations just to be sure that everybody is happy. Now, that is one thing that is missing in amongst Nigerian business people.
And in fact, don't feel ashamed, everybody does it. And for me, it was the same. If I didn't realize that I had a problem with my business until I think I had done close to 20 weddings as a wedding photographer. And then one of my brides, one of my earliest Abuja brides actually, she now made a referral for me to do somebody else's wedding. Nothing it, you know, the referral didn't click. But that was when I had a problem.
I just thought about like come, I have shot close to 20 weddings now and only one bride has tried to hook me up. As I told myself, that meant I wish my, there's a problem here. And so don't worry, it's not just you. We all do it. Lots of us don't have the process of debriefing and the debrief is necessary to gaining referrals because people are not going to refer us until they're happy with the results that they've gotten.
And The thing is, we're not even in the best place to even ask for a referral until we're sure that they're happy and that there are no more problems that need to be resolved. So we actually need to have the debrief process as part of our the debrief as part of our sales sales process. Now, remember, like I said, it's going to be called different things depending on who you're talking to. I just call it a debrief because, you know, my initial background was in law.
And when you're done with everything, you sit down with this. Well, I'm not sure what they call it nowadays, but back when I finished law school, you know, you sit down with your guy, you sit down with your senior partner, you sit down with your practice manager, you sit down with whoever, and then you just run this small debrief so they'll let you know what's up. Like, OK, Tavishma, the way you handled this thing was OK.
When you were in court and the other council said this, you could have said that. Or when the judge said this, you could have said that, OK, you handled it like this, next time handled like this, next time handled like that. So that was a debrief. So we also need to have debriefs in our business because it's necessary to figure out if people are happy, It's necessary to figure out if people are getting what they want out of our product or service.
And then from there, we are going to be able to ask for a referral. So that's something that Jackie Chan was not doing in his interior decor business. And I know that half of you, in fact 97% of you listening to the show right now, you guys don't have a debrief process. So you need to have it there. So if you're a solar panel installer, alternative energy person, you install January 1st, February 14th, pick up the phones, Hey Madam, happy Valentine's Day, blah blah blah,
some small teacher. Now it's all be hard. The children, Madam, that installment that we did last year, last month, I hope there's no problem. Everything is working okay, this National Grid that collapsed share everything functioned well, you know, blah, blah, blah. You have that conversation. It's from there you're going to be able to slide into Oh Madam, is there anybody in the in the estate who also wants to do solar panel as well?
Can you give me their phone number? Can you hook me up? Can you introduce me? Can you, you know XYZ? So that's how you handle it. The same thing if you're a fashion designer, somebody comes and says give me peplum. My sister is getting married. Yes, I confess I don't know anything about female fashion, but while I was a wedding photographer, I know that peplum was raining back then. So I don't know if peplum is raining anymore.
In fact, I'm sure some of you young ones don't know peplum itself. But any I just keep saying peplum because that's the only style I know. I know peplum. I know backless, I know mermaid. I think those are the three that I know. OK, so let me just say mermaid. So somebody comes and says, look, fashion designer, my sister is getting married, give me mermaid. I want to slay and then the you give her mermaid design and then she goes for the wedding.
The average Nigerian fashion designer, tailor, whoever will just deliver the mermaid and then that's it. Call the person a week later and have the conversation. Sister Hannah, Congrats to for your sister or sister's wedding, you know we will just in nine months, God will do it for us yourself. You do your own wedding, Happy new year, blah blah blah, that whole talk and then you have the conversation. I hope the dress was OK.
I hope you slayed. If I did you take picture, please share the picture with me. In fact, for those of you in the fashion space, this is what we call UGC. UGC is OK. Well, it's not just people in fashion, it's social media. Basically, UGC just means user generated content. That is one way that you can come up with stuff for your social media by just using content that is not you that created, but rather it is your consumers, it is your fans, it is your followers, it is your community that created on your behalf.
So if you're a fashion designer, this is actually solid stuff that you can be sharing and is this is how you get it from the conversation. You say that I killed it. The dress laid. In fact, I looked magnificent. I looked this, I looked at are you serious? I begged share pictures now say I'm coming. I took pictures, but the professional pictures are not out yet. The photographer said they'll be out in two weeks. I'll call you in two weeks for the pictures are don't worry now don't worry, I'll give you the picture and then two weeks you call up the picture.
It's professional done stuff like that. Now put it up on a LinkedIn. Sorry, I said LinkedIn. Sorry, excuse me because I'm spending all my time on LinkedIn now. What's this thing called? Instagram. You now put it on your Instagram or your TikTok. You now tag the babe or you tell the baby that when she puts it up she should tag you. You know, so user generated content. So where was I? Look at me. I lost track of what I was saying.
Anyway, basically it's just in the debrief process. I think I was trying to show how sorry I forgive my kids just laughing in the background, you know, just laughing about. I have really lost my train of thought, OK, I was just trying to show how, yes, that this applies to everybody. So if you're in the inverter space, you can do it. If you're in the fashion space, you can do it. Have the debrief. So it's when you're having the debrief and she's happy and that she's late and that she looked good and she looked fly and everything.
And from there you can now slide into the whole thing of, oh, was there any member of the train who is getting married? I beg, can you give me the phone number or do you know anybody who also wants to do mermaid design or who wants to do this or who wants to do that? You know you have the referral conversation, so everybody should be doing it. Lawyers you should do the debrief. Interior decor person do the debrief, Fashion designer do the debrief.
Everybody do the debrief. Then in having that conversation now, he now had another question. OK, sure, no problem. I agree with you, I'm supposed to have been doing the debrief, but now that I've not been doing it, how will I go ahead and do it? And then I shared with him the formula that I've been sharing with this podcast. Those of you on this will be listening regularly on the podcast time and time again. And that's the basic outline of greeting, intention, questions,
proposal, and close. Now this is not the best way or the only way to structure a conversation. It is just one of the easiest ways that I found very helpful. And so I crammed it when I started off and it has never failed me because it's a nice way to structure a conversation. So that's why I keep saying it again and again and again. But if for you, you think it has too many steps because greeting intention. So let me count greeting intention, question, proposal close 12344 OK, that's five.
If you think 5 steps is too much and then you find a conversation framework that is only three steps, then by all means you don't do it. But The thing is we need to have some sort of framework to guide the conversation. And this is one of the reasons why people are scared and don't do some things because like I told the guy, you guys to do a debrief. The next thing is, OK, how the hell am I going to debrief? So, yeah.
So let's get into it. So greetings, intention, question, proposal, close. Now greeting. Of course, you start off with an appropriate greeting and then you go straight into the intention. Some of us waste too much time with oh, how have you been? How was Christmas? Oh Chinubu, oh, the economy, oh, water board, oh, Napa is killing us. The cost of this, cost of that, you waste like 20-30 minutes doing that. It's not being helpful.
You have to be able to get straight into the reason why you're here or the reason why you're calling. So in his own case, I told him appropriate greeting. So hey boss, how you doing? Happy new Year, blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah. The reason why I'm calling, I just wanted to be sure that everything is OK, that the POP is still on points, that the work that we did, the painting, the screening, the disk, the word that that, that, that, you know, the everything that is there's no problem and that Madam is happy with it and everything.
So you go into that. Then after that, you're going to have to ask particular questions. That's where, you know, you ask questions about what you could have done better and let's see things that they liked and what you could have done better. And that's the focus when it comes to the questions part. When we're doing the debrief, then proposal is the part where in this case, because I told him that when we're doing the debrief, we're trying to look for referrals.
So the proposal stage is where you're going to ask for the referral. So do you know anybody else who XYZ? You always try and keep it as particular as possible. So the example that we use now in this case was somebody that what he did for the person was screening and then painting and then POP. So screening is when you come in and scrape off everything from the walls and then of course, you put a new coat of paint. Then after you put the new coat of paint, he now did the POP and then that's all that he did for the person.
So somebody else came and did the rest. So this will be the case now where you now answer. Oh, OK boss, do you know anybody who wants to do screening and painting and POP? And then you wait, and then you hear. See, the more particular the better. Because if you go and say, oh, Bros, you know anybody who needs my services, that's too vague. But if you go and say, do you know anybody who wants to do screening and painting because this guy is a business owner who's trying to fix up his place, he might know one or two other business owners who are trying to fix up their space.
And I'll say, oh, OK, I know Darya, I know Kuli, I'm coming. Let me check with him. I'll get back to you. You know, that kind of thing. So the more particular that we are when we're asking for our referrals, the better. Then the close is where you try and get the person to take action. So like if he says, oh, let me speak to them, I'll get back to you. You know, you get a particular. So OK, fine. No problem, boss. No, Allah, can I call you Monday, 8:00 AM to remind you?
So OK, sure. Monday, Monday, 8:00 AM. That's cool. So close just means you're trying to get the person to take action or to get the person to commit to something because we cannot move the deal forward and we cannot close deals if we are not getting people to take small, small, small commitments. And you can see that this is the reason why it's a useful outline because you will show up, you greet somebody, you go straight to, why am I here?
You ask the person a couple of questions. From there, you'll be able to make a proposal about this is what we should be able to do next. And then you also get the guy to or the girl to commit small to moving the deal forward. So you continue like this, like this, like this, you should be able to move things forward. But bottom line is once you have some sort of structure, it doesn't have to be what I'm saying. Greeting, intention, question,
proposal, close. Find whatever framework works for you. For me that it is 6, I'll be 5. That is five stages. It's not too much for years. 5 is too much and you find somebody who has an outline that is three or two, then use it. But The thing is, if you have your framework like this, easy to remember is in your skull. You find it easy to, I'll put it if it's easy to remember, it'll be easy to do. And then the more you do it, the more confident you will get.
And the more you do it over time with more confidence, the thing just seeps into your memory and you'll be able to do it just like that. I mean, you just wake up from sleep and then you just roll. Like I tell people, early on, there was a time when if I was receiving a business call, I would not answer until I had my pen and my paper and my scripts, because I don't want to forget anything. But now I can talk to anybody in any industry anytime because all these scripts, all these frameworks, all these, what should I call it?
All these, whatever, whatever, they're all internalized so we can have the conversations. And let me see. OK, 22 minutes. Let me not stay here for too long. Yeah. So there's one point in the conversation when he asked me a question that made me very, very glad. And if you're going to ask me this question, it's going to make me exceedingly glad. And anyway, let me just straight to what the question was. So he said that, hey, look, I
noticed you've been saying phone call, phone call, phone call. Does it have to be phone call? How about if I go and see the person? And I told him, Jackie Chan, you are on point. It is not flesh and blood that has revealed this to you. It is the spirit that has revealed this to you. And then I told Jackie Chan about the communications hierarchy when it comes to communication because communication is not just about talking to people and passing across information.
Communication is also about trying to figure out, is this person feeling me? Is this person vibing with me? Are we on the same page? So because communication is a two way thing, what am I saying? And then is this person feeling me? Are we vibing? Are we on the same page? Because of that, there's a communications hierarchy for effectiveness of communications. And then face to face is the best because face to face, if you say rubbish, you can't tell by the way the person will squeeze his face or the way they will shift their body.
You can't tell that, OK, this thing that I said was totally off point or this thing that I said that I thought was a compliment. This person has taken it as an insult. You can't see it straight, but if it is an e-mail or a WhatsApp message or a text message, you cannot tell that you just offended the person. So it's because of things like this that face to face is absolute top of the pyramid. The problem is just that face to face is expensive.
Now, Jackie Chan is based in Lagos. Face to face means you get into the bus or you fuel your car and you drive out to that person's place. And we all know how traffic can be in Lagos. So face to face can mean you've wasted 3 hours of the day. But I know it's not a waste. You're investing in something else in the future because maybe we'll take you one hour to drive there, you know, 45 minutes for the meeting, one hour to drive back to your house.
That's it, Three hours, no go. So that's always a problem with face to face, but it's the absolute best when it comes to communication because you're going to be able to modulate your cadence, your pace, your choice of words, because you might come in feeling all formal and proper. And then you get there and you see that, oh, you're talking with your homeboy or home girl. You now change pace. But of course, you can't do that when you start off with text or e-mail or SMS, you know, you start off with whatever your assumptions are.
You don't have any feedback from the other person to see that your messages are not landing well. So face to face is number 2 is number one on the pyramid after face to face is phone. That's the reason why I was saying phone call. The reason why I keep saying phone calls because I know that most of you prefer doing SMS and WhatsApp. So that's the reason why I say phone call. If I say face to face, some of you will just revolt.
You will anyway. You just revolt. You say look, that is you do you. Let me do me, but face to face is the best. There's research that shows this. Then next is phone after phone. There's now video Zoom and then all of that after video zoom and all of that. Then next in effectiveness is SMS and WhatsApp. Because those ones are are semi formal. They have some informality to them. And then at the very bottom is e-mail. For some reason, e-mail carries no context, no emotional.
This e-mail is just flat. So especially for those of you who have issues with the customer, you and your customer, you're quarreling. The customer says you didn't deliver these. You, you say you deliver that and you people are emailing back and forth. You are just making yourself angry and you're making the customer angry. The best thing to do is, OK, if you're afraid that if you go there face to face you will slap you, then just pick up the phone and try and have a measured conversation.
So where was I? Yeah. So that's why the thing made me very, very happy. Made me happy because in this day and age where lots of people want to hide behind the keyboard, I'm finally meeting people who have no problem with just driving over to somebody's office and sitting down and having a conversation. And it's the best way to build your business. Unfortunately, it's the most time consuming, but I think we'll talk about that later when it comes to scaling the business.
So I was really hard. I'm glad when he asked me that question and I hope I'm going to run into more of you that are going to ask me questions like that where if I say call the person, they'll say, OK, can I go and see them face to face? So face to face, absolute best. So let's see what else. Let me see. Let me look at my notes. Sorry, this is a real rambling episode. I know because, like I said, the conversation between me and Jackie Chan was, yeah, it was a rambling one.
It was all over the place. And, you know, sometimes these conversations can be that way. The thing that I want to say, the thing that struck me the most, Jackie Chan said he had a question, something about confidence, that he's not very bold and what should he do? And so I had to lay him straight, and I'm going to lay some of you straight who are listening to this podcast right now, some of you who thinks I lack confidence.
I'm not bold. I want you to listen very, very clearly, clearly to what I'm saying. The problem is not that you lack confidence or that you're not bold or that you don't beg yourself up. The problem is you don't have a plan or a framework for what needs to be done. And when there is no plan or framework, of course you will hesitate. Of course you're going to balk, and of course you're not going to know what to do. The first thing to do is to figure out some sort of framework.
So I had to lay it straight with him. Now look, it's not that you lack confidence or that you're not bold. You didn't know how you're supposed to be doing all these things. Now that I've given you the framework, you're still going to be scared. But like I said, you will try it and you will try and try and with the doing and with the internalizing and you getting better, the confidence in quotes that you're looking for will start coming.
But for most of you see, there are some people, yes, who have clinical problems, clinical psychological problems that affect your confidence and everything. But just know that statistically speaking, it is not most of you listening to this podcast. Not everybody has clinically diagnosed issues. So I mean, statistically speaking, it is not your problem. I'm willing to take that gamble. So it's not that you lack confidence.
You do not have the framework. You need to get the framework right and you need to get the game plan right. That's the reason why soldiers are confident they can't fly into battle. It's because they have practiced it a million times. You wake up in the morning, you make your bed, you do your press UPS, you eat your breakfast, you assemble your rifle, you disassemble your rifle. What else? You learn, you know, attack, you learn defence, you learn this,
you learn that, you do it 1000 times so that when the thing actually happens, you just move and get into action. So it's the same thing, muscle memory. First of all, get the framework, learn the framework, practice the framework. You'll be fine. The confidence will show. Then I also pointed out something else to Jackie Chan, and this is something that surprises me. For those of you who will stand up in a business seminar and tell people that you lack confidence or that you're talking with another human being and you tell the person that you lack confidence.
I'm not a psychologist, but I'm willing to take this bet. I believe that the true person who lacks confidence will not stand face to face and look you, another person in the eye and say, oh, that confidence is my problem. That you're bold enough or brave enough to talk about these sorts of things shows that you're a brave person, especially those of you who you know, I'm giving a session or something. And then you stand up in front of the whole group and say that,
oh, that you're confidence and you lack boldness. You lack boldness, but yet you stand. You take up a microphone in the presence of, you know, 30-40 people and then you're talking and you still think you lack confidence. You still think you're shy. Oh, come on. The shy person is not saying anything. The shy person is not standing up. The shy person is doing nothing. The shy person is trying to blend in. Everybody cover me.
Let me hide Those of you who stand up in places like this to say I lack confidence, please help me. Please. Lack of confidence is is not your problem They are bold enough to stand up and admit that you have a problem or that you're bold enough to stand up in a room full of strangers to try and talk through a couple of issues. Lack of confidence is not a problem. So if you're like Jackie Chan, you think that you lack confidence trust me, you don't then let me see.
Then the final thing that I told Jackie Chan and I want to impress on all of you is this also sometimes when we collapse in on ourselves when it comes to talking to people, presentations, you know, things like that, when we collapsing on ourselves, it's because we're thinking too much about ourselves and we're not thinking too much. We're not thinking enough. Excuse me, about the other person, about the audience. So and it's even something I've told my wife because you know,
she also wants to get better at presentations and things like that, although she doesn't Anyway, let me just leave that one. So, but if you go there and you're worried about yourself, is my posture correct? And that's why I don't like all these people who are going around telling your women, go and do power pose and then women are going to go and do power pose as in power pose what? Just focus on your audience. Focus on making sure that you're that you're communicating with the audience instead of how is my suit?
How is my stance? How is my hair? How is my shoes? I mean, that's too much pressure. Of course you're going to crumble. So don't be thinking about you. You should be thinking about the audience. What do they need to hear? What are you trying to communicate based on the feedback that you've gotten? What do you need to address next? When you're paying attention to the other person and less on yourself, all these things just automatically, all these things just automatically fade away.
So some people say, oh, Tavishima, you're brave. I'm not like you. You're brave. No, I'm, I'm not brave. I just gave up long time ago that if I keep looking at myself, I'll always be nervous. So I just get there and do all the things that I need to be done. Sorry, sorry. No, I just get there and do what needs to be done. So if I'm there because I'm trying to talk to. OK. I think the last engagement was the woman on, I think that was in November.
Yes, I think it's December, November. The ladies in Abuja on digital marketing, if I'm there to talk about digital marketing, I'm not worried about do I have power pose? Is my allocution correct? Is my shoe on point? Did I shave properly? Did I? I'm not worried about any of that. Mine is just OK ladies, I'm here. This is what we're supposed to discuss today. Let me get to know you all so that all the things I'm saying are going to be tailored to you guys.
So sister on the right. So, yeah. Welcome, ma'am. Who are you? What do you do? What do you hope to get out of today's session by the time each of them is talking like that. Like that. Like that. See, I'm not focusing on me. I'm focusing on them. I'm now getting to know who exactly is in the room. What are their challenges? The proposal. Sorry, not proposal. The presentation. The lecture that I'm about to give now becomes relevant.
All the examples that I need to come up with will come from the group themselves because I'm hearing from them and I know exactly who they are, what they are about, You know, another decision. So, you know, a young lady said, oh, Sally, you're very confident. Something, something some you know, it's not confidence. Stop paying attention to you. Go and pay attention to the other person. Pay attention to the situation. Pay attention to the thing that you need to do, the confidence to sort yourself out.
So the confidence will sort itself out. But bottom line, there are a bunch of you listening to this podcast right now. You think you have confidence issues. You don't have any confidence problems. There's not a father wound. Your father did not do anything to you. Your mother did not do anything to you. Your family members are not putting you down. Your ex-girlfriend that dumped you, you know, she didn't give you any crisis of confidence.
You know, that's, it's, it's nothing like that because you can stand boldly and talk to a stranger or pick up the mic in a room full of strangers. Believe me, you are brave because there are some other people who would never ever, ever touch that mic. So believe me, you are brave #2 the problem is you don't have a framework. Get the framework, get the game plan. It makes the whole thing a whole lot easier. If you take me now and you put me on the pitch and you want me to play against Manchester United, of course I'll be shitting my pants because I know nothing about football.
I don't have the game plan. When last did I practice? I'm out of shape. Of course I'm going to be as nervous as hell. But then if you take somebody who plays for BCC Lions, Goku or AIMBA and you put them on that pitch, now of course Manchester United is still going to flog them because the difference in skill is monumental. But The thing is that person who has been playing for BCC Lions, Boko or AIM by United, the person will have more confidence in quote because at least conditioning is there.
Person has been practicing, there is some sort of game plan. The person knows one or two fundamentals. He knows that OK, Manchester United, they will flog me, but I know how I can put up a fight. So game plan really, really important. Then realise it's not about you, it's about the person that you're talking to. It's about the stakeholder, it's about the audience, it's about the business partner, it's about the whoever.
Pay attention to that other person. The more you're paying attention to them and what it is you're trying to communicate or the problem that you're trying to solve, you just find out that you know all these things about, am I saying the right things? Do I look the right way? Do I sound the right way? All of those things just fade. Anyway, let me bring it to a close. I think I've rambled on too much. So those are some of the things that some of the things I spoke about in my strategy session with Jackie Chan.
And I hope that in the rambles that I've gone over this evening that some of you have been able to pick one or two things that will find helpful to move your business forward. And like, just like I told Yusuf, a computer science student, I'm also going to tell you guys as well. It's not just about saying, oh, that was insightful or that was clever or that was brilliant. Do something. So yes, yeah. I'm a very vain guy.
So if you do tell me that this episode was insightful, yeah, of course it's going to make my head swell more, will make my head swell even more Is for you to say not just that this was insightful, but that I liked XYZ in particular. And then I tried it. For those of you who try it and it didn't work, I love having conversations with you guys. You let me know I tried it, the thing did not work. That's good. We need to have a deeper engagement there and we need to qualify the approach.
For those of you who say I tried it and it worked, Oh, very good. Makes me very, very happy. I'd like to hear the testimony so I can put it up here on the podcast as well. And well, bottom line, Sir, don't just hear and say it was insightful here. Say it was insightful. Get your pen and paper, write something down. So if you're listening to this thing Tuesday night, so that Wednesday morning, 9:00, you try and put it forward.
You try and you know what's that word? Try and implement it to move your business forward. So thank you very much for your time and attention. I'll catch you guys in the next episode. If you'd love to connect with me, the phone number is 08064662140. Country code is +234. For those of you who are not Nigerian, that's my WhatsApp number. So hit me up there. Please, if you're sending me a WhatsApp message, please don't send me audio, don't send me links, don't send me pictures,
don't send me anything that requires downloading. Yeah, I'm trying to be very security conscious. So you know, you know, I don't know you yet as in like we're not friends yet. So please don't send me anything. Just put a text message so that when I open I can see and we'll flow like that. When you and me know each other here, then you can start sending me pictures and links and stuff like that. And then besides, some of you need to use common sense.
Some of you are just to forward like I don't know you yet, we're just getting to know each other. And they were sending me 40 page PDF as in for what? Like that's taking the Mickey as in, yeah, I'll have a conversation with you guys, try and help you solve, you know, one or two problems. But sending me a 40 page PDF to go and review, I mean, that's it's just downright rude. Just rude. So where else then connect with me on LinkedIn name to look for establishing my idea.
Thank you very much for your time and attention. I'll catch you guys at the next episode.