Know Your Worth: How to Spot Great Clients and Avoid Time-Wasters

Hello and welcome to the show. Apologies because today's recording is an out and about episode so there's going to be noise in the background. Now what I want us to talk about today is what to do when a client insults you. OK yeah, so the reason why we're going to look at what to do when a client insults you is because I saw a post on LinkedIn recently where I'm a business owner. A Nigerian business owner was complaining that a a client insulted him and he took a screenshot of the interaction between them and then he put it all over on LinkedIn.

So yeah, that's what I want us to look at today. When a client insults you, what do you do instead of taking things and copying and pasting it on social media and trying to air your dirty linen in public? Now, first of all, what we do from a sales and business development perspective is the first thing we do is we try and take responsibility. We try and empathize with the person. I know some of you will be saying empathize, care like am I

mind? Like somebody's insulting me. Why am I empathizing with the person? Now, the reason why from a sales perspective we take this approach is because typically those of us who are sales professionals, when somebody begin the vex force the person begin the para anyhow, you understand, it's usually because something has gone wrong. There has been a difference in expectation. You know, things have not been communicated properly.

Let's see what else it's usually, you know, breakdown in these sorts of things. Now, for those of us who are professional salespeople or for those of us who should consider ourselves to be professional salespeople, if we don't handle these things well, we end up, what's that expression poisoning the well exactly. So we end up poisoning the well and we could be tarnishing, I mean, we could be destroying any sources of potential revenue that could come from that particular contact, that particular human connection.

So for those of us who view ourselves as professional salespeople, we want to be very, very sure that if we're going to engage in a fight and cut somebody off, if we're going to engage in a fight and break somebody's head or whatever, want to be sure that I want to put it, it was worth the effort. But either way, what we do is we take professional responsibility, try and figure out what it is that is going on. So we take responsibility, we try and empathize with the person, we try and de escalate the situation, we try and figure out the real problem, and then we come up with a counter proposal so that we can deal with it.

So I repeat, your client insults you, you take responsibility or empathize, de escalate the situation, figure out the real problems, and then deal with it. Now, First off, take responsibility. There's some of you who will assume that when I say take responsibility, it means admit that you're at fault. No, taking responsibility doesn't mean you're going to admit you're at fault. All that you're going to do is to take responsibility.

All you have to do is just to tell the client, the customer, or whoever it is just to tell the person. Yeah, calm down now. Relax. You know, we're both human beings. I understand that there's a problem now, so don't worry, I'm going to take responsibility. I'll make sure that we get to the bottom of this thing and then we'll figure it out. That's all I mean when I say take responsibility, de escalate the situation, calm things down,

tell the person that relax, don't worry. I need to understand what was going on. I'll take responsibility for this thing and we'll figure out the way out of this impasse. Now for those of you who are long time listeners of the podcast, you remember the situation where as a wedding photographer, because I started off in legal, I'm a former lawyer, now business consultant, but in between I've engaged in events, wedding photography,

media production, documentaries, you know those sorts of things. So you remember the story I told you guys about the potential, sorry, not a potential. An actual client of mine who after the wedding, I wanted to use photos on Instagram and the wife said she didn't want the photos on Instagram. So I told her, oh, Noah, Allah should be was seen later on. No, we'll talk about it now. Later on, her husband called me up. Sorry, he didn't call me.

He sent me messages threatening to call the military, threatening to call lawyers, you know, because the guy is a military guy and all of that. And I saw the message and you know, I could have thought, you know, who the hell are these? Who the hell are these people? I don't talk how much in me like, you know, I'm a lawyer, so I was somebody come and be talking trash like this, you know, towards me. But I've taken that route.

But then what I did was I picked up the phone and then I called the guy. You're trying to have difficult conversations. We must always call the people that were having that were having Quanta with. We always have to call the people because he's counterproductive and it's really hard to have difficult conversations over WhatsApp or over e-mail or over text message. So I called the guy, luckily we had good rapport before the wedding.

I said, but what's going on now? Why the vex like this? And then I told you now look guys, let's calm down. I understand there's a problem going on here, but let's be real with you. You know that me, I studied law. So if you want to engage lawyer, how much are you going to pay them on top? How much? So guy, calm down, let's figure out what's going on and let's solve the solution. That's it. That was me taking responsibility for taking responsibility for the situation at hand.

And with the situation deescalated, he was able to talk freely. And from his own point of view, he didn't appreciate the the the fact that I was trying to ride his wife, that his wife had told me this is what me I want. I mean, I was thinking that maybe because I'm older than her or bigger than her, because me and the guy were of a similar age. And then his bride, his wife at the time, the age difference between them was almost like 20

years. So she's a much younger bride. So when I told her, oh, no, I had no problem, we'll talk about it should be I'm coming to the house later on. She just thought that OK, oh, this guy is looking at me as I'm a small girl. So he now wants to just write me and do whatever. So she quickly called her husband and I see it was a very straightforward, simple something. And I told the guy that abrasive is like this. You guys should have just told me.

Now, that is not the kind of thing that I reached up to this kind of level. And then of course, I made the kind of proposal. We finished and then that was the whole thing. We caught the conversation but if the guy responded, oh I'll call military, I'll call my boys, I'll call lawyer myself. I responded back, who the hell are you? Something something wanting wanting it would have blown up unnecessarily. So from a sales perspective,

take responsibility, be proactive, calm the situation down, figure out what the real problem is and then deal with it. Then yes, we must always use assertive language because you're professional and that is how people will treat you as a professional when you use assertive language. So first of all, I called the guy. You can say that that's assertive behavior. I didn't hide behind the keyboard and begin to type anything.

I called the guy then. So assertive language, assertive pose. Let's see what else? Because you're a professional and then also you're a human being who is worthy of respect. Now, there are some situations where for some of you, you know, you're not the owner of the business, so eventually you might have to communicate with your line manager or communicate with your organ, you know, So these things are essential. But just remember, we're always trying to calm the thing down,

figure out the problem, come up with a counter proposal, and then later on we're going to follow through with the proposal just to, you know, just to be sure that the solution was satisfactory. Yeah, let me put it that way. You know that way. Bro, what's up? How are you doing concerning our last convo? So you know, I said this and this and this and that. So what do you think? Are you cool with this, You're OK with that?

You know, that kind of thing. Then this is where we need some mastery as professional salespeople. After that, after the quarrel, we now try and get a referral. So you'll be wondering like, did I hear you correctly? Yes, you heard me correctly. After this kind of thing, we try and get referrals. We try and get introductions because these kinds of situations are usually occasions where we create super fans. The superfan is just somebody who like the person values you die, the person respects you die.

So now, especially in the Nigerian context, if you handle yourself well, you're cool and calm under fire, your composure never wavering, you understand people see you and they know that oh, he's the correct guy or he's the correct babe and they can confidently refer you to anybody because they know this person is a consummate professional and will always handle the situation with poison, with dignity. So when your customer, when your client insults you, this is how you handle yourself.

Now in case though, some of you listening to the podcast right now who have been in situations that are different from this and you think the rules that I've given here, the guidelines that I've given here don't apply, that's not a problem. Just reach out to me, call me, send me a text message or a WhatsApp message on 08064662140. So yeah, reach out to me, let me know. Let's look at your own circumstance and then we can use that as a case study in a future podcast episode.

So in the summary, this is how you handle the things when a client insults you. Now, the matter at hand, this guy that was provoking all over LinkedIn, let's look at whether the situation was even an example of a customer insulting him. And I've said it before and I'll say it again for those of you who think I'm making these things up. Too many of us Nigerian business people and sales professionals, we have gotten into the habit of any small quarrel with our clients.

We won't be posting it on social media. Why? It's making us look petty. It's making us look like children. It makes us look unprofessional one day, one day somehow, somehow the professional client or somebody, sorry, the the former client or somebody who knows the person who will see it and it now makes you look like a child. So we should stop doing this thing. I don't know if other people, I don't know if Australians do this, Americans do this.

If people in the UK do it, you know, it's just since I came back to Niger, I've been seeing this rubbish and it's, it's madding. How are you quarrel with your customer And now with a share screenshot, Screenshot. The guy didn't just write about it. The guy took actual screenshots as I put you on on LinkedIn. So even if somebody insults you, no screenshots please. It's not professional and it's very, very petty. So this is what the guy wrote on LinkedIn.

So the guy said that a client insulted him because the client sent his friend's message. OK, how will I put it now? OK, let's just say that the guy that the guy that put up this message, let's say his name is Coley and let's say that the client's name is Favor. So what Coley said was that he finished a job for Favor and then Favor now told Coley that hey, one of my guys want to do business with you. So call the guy. Then Coley, the fashion design,

sorry, the designer now said no, I can't call the person that. You should tell the person to call me then Fevo. That's the clients now said bro, you get pride. Oh and then that's when Coolin started to vex that. What do you mean I have pride? It is not pride. I know my worth and I'm professional. In fact, to hell with this thing. I'm not interested in the job. Is that an insult? Let me repeat in case you didn't get it.

A client, sorry a fashion. A graphic designer did a job for a client. The client was happy. I said call this my guy. The graphic designer now said no, no, be me. Suppose column now your guys suppose call me, then the client. Now say guy, you get pride. Oh, and then the graphic designer now vex. I say pride, how I know my worth. In fact, I'm no longer interested in this job. That's our core. I begin then the guy begin the poster for social media.

So is this actually an insult or is it a lack of clear thinking around 3 main things #1 how to get and how to handle referrals #2 how to decide if an opportunity is worth pursuing, and then #3 how to start conversations without assuming lower social status? Let me repeat, this is not an insult. It's just that the business owner, in this case the graphic designer, hasn't thought about 3 main things. Number 1, he hasn't thought about a policy for getting referrals and handling referrals #2 he hasn't come up with a framework for deciding who is worth talking to, who is worth pursuing, and then #3 he hasn't figured out how to start a conversation without assuming a lower social status.

That's because in this part of the world, in Niger, we're always worried that if I'm the one who speaks first, I assume, you know, that means I have lost or I'm lower or something like that. It's something that people worry about too much in this part of the world. The fact that you're the one that talks first does not mean you have lower social status. And hopefully by the time we're done with this podcast episode, I should be able to give you ideas for how to handle these sorts of situations.

So First off, what's a referral? That's for those of you who are listening to the podcast for the first time. A referral just means when people make introductions, that's all. So for the graphic designer now that designs something for the client and the clients say, oh this my guy, the guy like your work. So call the guy that is a referral because you're trying to make an introduction. Now the reasons why referrals are important is because it's a way of getting repeat business and it's a way of maximizing customer lifetime value.

Customer lifetime value just means this, that every single time you meet someone and you do business with someone, the person is not just worth the money you collect now, but the person is worth the amount of money that you can potentially collect from the person over repeatedly over the future. So let me go back to the car example. I think that's one of the oldest examples I've given because for my first car, OK, my brother-in-law bought a car from someone in Lagos.

My brother saw the car and liked it and so my brother bought the car. Then I saw those two cars and I liked it. Then me, I went to go and buy one car. Then Mumsy saw the three cars. Obviously I liked it, so she went to go and buy again. Now maximizing customer lifetime value means that when my brother-in-law, Patrick bought the car from MU, you are the car guy. What Patrick was worth was not. By the way, then cars were cheap.

So we bought all those cars. We bought them roughly, you know, 1.5 maximum 2M. So if you're a sharp business person, you realize that this person you're talking to, Patrick, is not just worth 1.2. The person is worth referrals that he can bring and other cars that he will buy later on. Because Patrick also went to go and buy two more cars from who you are over the course of, you know, another like 5-6 years. So if you're a car dealer, the person who is standing in front of you is not just OK now cars are more expensive.

Cars are now like secondhand is now like maybe like 1620 M. So the person you're talking to right now is not just worth 20M, the person is 20 M plus cars that he will come back and buy in the future if you do a good job, plus other people that he can refer to. So those are the things that we talk about when we talk when we mean maximizing customer lifetime value. So that's why referrals are important because it is referrals or introductions that unlock this key benefit, this big money, because trust me,

this is where the good money is from. Remember what I said, Patrick bought a car from who you are 1.3 My brother saw the car and liked it and then bought 1.5 I saw the two cars and I liked it and I bought it. 1.3 Mumsy saw the three cars and liked it and she bought 2 point something. If you're smart you see that that is where the good money comes from. That is where the big money comes from. So I advise people we don't mess with this, we try and prime it well.

If you have like 1020 Patricks in your business, your life will change. You hear me? If you have up to 10/15/20 clients like a Patrick in your life, your business life will change. The goal is to see how many Patricks you can manufacture, not be going and be causing query with people up and down. Now how do you get referrals? The best way to get referrals is to ask how to be proactive. That is where you get the best results over time because not everybody gives referrals.

So if you do business with 20 people, you ask 20 of them for referrals. You know, if you're lucky, maybe 5 or 6, we give you referrals. You know, we're on our way. But the best way to get referrals is to ask. Now, for those of you who are not brave enough, you can rely on unsolicited referrals. Unsolicited referrals are situations where a customer reaches out without you asking and then they say, call this my guy. Now, here's one thing that all of you need to appreciate,

especially in the Nigerian context. If anybody give you a referral in most cases here, it's a compliment in Niger, Understand. Now at first, a referral in Nigeria is a compliment except for situations where you know, you are dirt cheap and you know, things like that. Then in that case, a referral just means like, ah, I saw a massive deal, go and call this guy because it's a massive deal. But assuming you're not the cheapest in your industry and stuff like that, you try to be professional.

If somebody says call this my guy, it's a compliment that I'm paying you. It's a compliment. It's not an insult. So what you should do now, if you have specific ways that you want people to interact with you in your business, you need to come up with a policy for how to handle referrals. But you need to discuss this thing with your business partner, with your wife, with your mom, see, with your POPSY, with your board of directors,

with your whatever ahead of time. Then you also need to communicate these things to your clients who you seek to refer. You communicated to them in a very nice, respectful way. So in the present case study now this is how you could have solved the problem. First of all, pick up the phone. Instead of texting back and forth. Like I said, when you're trying to have difficult conversations, pick up the phone. The reason why we pick up the phone for difficult conversations is this.

Whenever you are phone, phone to phone with somebody or you're face to face with somebody, it is the smoothest way to communicate because number one, it is short and fast and quick. If you guys are texting, you'll be texting back and forth for 3-4 days and with each message you will are getting angrier and angrier. The situation is escalating. If you're face to face you, you know you will shout 10 minutes, everything will calm down.

Then also you're able to communicate better phone to phone or face to face you're able to communicate new ones better and then stuff like that. Because sometimes somebody will type something you think is an insult meanwhile not being insult. The thing even happened to me, I think like 2-3 weeks ago I typed something to my wife. By the time I came to pick up in the evening, she was thoroughly vexed, seriously vexed. I said I beat what happened.

She said, how you be giving me instruction as if I'm your secretary? I said. I said calm down. And then by the time we discussed, it was a very simple something. Meanwhile, from the text message, my wife saw it and she's like, what the hell am I this guy's secretary? So is it normal something even between husband and wife? You can see how complication can arise now, not to talk about clients who like you will just meet yourself for the first time.

So through typing something that is not insult can look like insult. But if it's face to face or phone to phone, you'll be able to smooth over these things very, very easy because you can get more nuanced conversations. So what you guys should have done first of all is pick up the phone. That's the graphic designer. Then you should have told the client, say boss, thank you for the referral. I truly appreciate it. The reason why you say thank you for referrals is because in this part of the world, remember, the referral is a compliment.

They're saying that you are the very guy. OK? Trust me, I've received a few. It's a good thing when somebody says, oh, Mr. Heidi, OK, I've heard a lot about you, so you are the guy. I can see why you came highly recommended. So it's a compliment. If you haven't received it yet, by the time you receive two or three, you understand what I'm saying. So first of all, you call the guy, you say bro, thanks for the referral.

I really, really appreciate the next thing you communicate your policy Bros, I beg no vex sometimes then you don't say that Niger we did when sometimes in this kind of situation, if now you boss the person first, then we'll rate you. That's your concern and then I'll continue. I hope see you're going to be that kind of person. You understand you're communicating to the guy that look, this is my fear. I don't want to call somebody and then the person, now would you understand person, would they rape me as if I'd be houseboy or something.

You tell him he's your client, he's your guy. Then you're now telling that boss Aberg Novak's next time I'll prefer it if your guy is the one that calls me. You communicate it simple. And then you end the conversation and say, boss, I really, really appreciate your patronage. In fact, this referral that you brought, I will do you well, any referral continue today. Bring our bring our call, bring our call, bring our call.

I'm ready for you. You understand with that kind of attitude, you see how one simple phone call, 10 minutes you smooth over everything instead sending messages back and forth with a screenshot put on social media like what the hell is this? Why are we why are we messing with our money? This is Money we're messing with. Remember I said that if you have some people where they refer you 510, you will feel the difference in your bank account.

You will feel it. I'm telling you, this is not an insult. This is not the kind of thing that should have blown up the way did on social and on social media. Of course, you know how social media is now. This is the kind of thing that are now trained. Eventually the client will see it and then what? You now start looking at the graphic designers and like or more day small boy. This guy is a child when he sees you think he's going to refer in the future anyway, So the oh,

sorry, hold on. I need to turn off an alarm on my phone. OK, because I'm actually supposed to leave where I am and be someplace next because I'm actually on the move. OK, so let me wrap this up quickly now. So the final thing is this guy, the graphic designer, he also doesn't know how to determine if an opportunity is worth pursuing, if a person is worth pursuing. And this is how you do it. You do it through qualification and discovery.

Qualification and discovery is the part of the business relationship or the part of the conversation between two people where you're trying to ask questions to figure out who is this person, what do they want? What is this business opportunity about? Is it worth my time or not? We all need to have a process for qualification and discovery in your business. If you've never heard about this before, call me, send me a text message or a WhatsApp message on 08064662140.

So we need to have a process for qualification and discovery. And it's very about the noise in the background, you know, like I said, I'm in a public place, so people are walking by, you know. So where was I? So who starts the conversation is not really important. What is important is how professional and how thorough the conversation is handled. So you are the 1. You could be the second person. I mean, how I put it, you can be the one that starts the conversation.

But even if you handle the conversation very well, you're very professional, very thorough. People look at you and they will rate you. I call up people all the time. You say call my guy, no problem. I'll call the guy. And by the time people are done with our conversation, they reach me because I'm a consumer professional. I know what it is I'm doing. So it doesn't matter if I'm the first person to initiate the call. So we should stop being afraid.

Now, what you need to have in your business is you need to have a qualification and discovery framework or a script or a guideline. And that's the problem with the guy on LinkedIn. He doesn't have a guideline. He doesn't have principles to guide how he's going to reach out to people. Now, the reason why qualification and discovery is important, having conversations with the person to try and figure out who this person is,

what they want, how big is the problem? Is this problem worth investing time or money in? If you don't have a framework for doing qualification and discovery, what will happen is you end up saying no to people like down with. By the way, when I say down with, I'm just being hyperbolic here. You can end up saying no to somebody like down with or any other valuable client or any other choice client because you never even had a conversation with the person in the 1st place.

You tell the person, I know I'm not going to call. I'm too big for that. Tell the person to call me. Meanwhile, you don't know that it's not going to on the other end of the line. You don't know that it's billions that is running after you, but you want to be proud. You say no, I won't call first. Tell the other person to call me. So this is the reason why for me, I pursue every single opportunity. I really don't know who's on the other end of the line.

I will call. I run everybody through qualification and discovery processes because I'm trying to figure out who's this person, What is the business opportunity? Is it worth my time? If I call the person and I find out that this is a serious opportunity, Good. I'll pursue this person. I'll pursue it well because I'm looking for creepsy money. I need money. If the person is a worker pass, I will ignore the person. It happens.

You can't be in business and not be calling worker pass every now and then. It happens. Now for those of us who are married, think about it now, will you say you toasted 1 babe or if you're a girl, that one boy toasted you and he didn't turn out to be a time waster, He didn't turn out to be a Walker pass, He didn't turn out to be a destiny destroyer. It's normal. What you just do is you chalk it up to the game, like OK, this is how these kind of people are and then you don't do business with them again.

That's all. So if it's a serious person, I will call. If it's a serious person, I'll pursue. If it's Walker pass, I will ignore. If the person is just curious, I'll put them into my relationship building and nurturing scheme. You need to have one. Relationship building and nurturing just means you put them somewhere either in your WhatsApp blast or your e-mail blast or you know, you call them once in a while. Their whole idea with relationship building,

relationship nurturing is that people should be seeing your face from time to time. So that's just the goal. Every once in a while, they suppose they see you, we'll see your updates, we'll see your profile. The good to see your missed call, the good to see your message. You know, you understand because there's some people who are just curious now, but later on they can become mature business opportunities later on. So that is also one thing that this guy had missing in his business.

He probably doesn't have a good qualification process, qualification and discovery process. And it's something that he should have. But honestly speaking, this is not something that should have been considered an insult. And please, whether you agree with my methods or not, please stop this Nigerian thing of any small quarrel. Would you just be posting and sharing this thing on social media? The goal here is to make money all right.

The goal is not a trend and the goal is not to be to to vindicate ourselves and to feel emotionally superior. The goal is to make money a big is to make money, to make money nicely, to make money quietly, to make money smoothly, to make money easy. So therefore, those of us who have children who acquire something substantial so that when our time is up can leave something nice for the people behind, right? OK, so let me leave it like that.

Now, if you have some ideas that you've heard here, you're hearing it for the first time, You've never heard of qualification and discovery. You don't have a framework for how to get referrals. Let's see what else. And then you don't know how to handle some customer service issues. Then reach out to me, call me, send me a text message or WhatsApp message on 0806466 2140. Let's have a chat. Let's see if I can help you grow your business and overcome some of these challenges.

Some of you are hearing me and you'll be saying that man, this *** sounds like it's expensive. Well, I think I'm fairly priced, but if you think I'm expensive, that's not a problem. I'm OK with giving free coaching and free consulting. So what you do is when you call me, you send me a text message or a WhatsApp message on 08064662140. Just tell me that you're looking for free coaching, free consulting. It's not a problem.

I will answer your question, but I will answer one question only. If we need to go any deeper, then we'll have to book a proper consulting session. The hourly sessions available daily sessions, weekly sessions, monthly sessions or quarterly sessions. For most people that I deal with, I rarely have to do a quarterly thing because so far I think it's just two clients that we've had quarterly sessions for. But bottom line, what I'm trying to say is don't be afraid if I

sound expensive, Yeah, don't worry, don't be afraid. Just reach out. I'll answer one question. I had to make sure I deliver value to everybody who comes across my path. So thank you very much for your time and attention. I really appreciate you listening to the podcast. And be sure to share the podcast with other people who might get value from it as well. So thanks for your time and attention. Let me run because I'm late for a meeting.

I'll catch you guys some other time.