Networking 001 - Random Thoughts Part 1

Hello and welcome. My name is Tavishima Ayedi. I'm the host of the podcast and I'm making today's recording at home, so expect to hear some noise in the background. If you would love to connect, you can call, send me a text message or WhatsApp message on 08064662140. Now today on the podcast, I want us to look at myths about networking. I repeat myths about networking, false ideas about networking, mistakes or false ideas, bad ideas that people have about networking.

Now, the reason why I want us to look at that today is because I saw a post on LinkedIn where the person was talking about networking. And of course, whenever people talk about networking, they always come out from one kind. I don't know, you know, that whole authenticity angle and this thing is not really going to help people who are nervous about networking because to be honest, people who are nervous about networking already feel self-conscious enough.

So you putting up posts saying that to be networking, you know, you have to be authentic, you have to be this, you have to be that. You're just giving people more stress. You're giving people more angst because, you know, the bigger question now becomes, you know, what does the authentic mean? What is the authentic? This what I mean? Like there's just plenty of headache. So I like to approach these things from a very, excuse me,

practical point of view, especially from a sales and business development. So excuse me, I have a bit of a cold. So especially from a sales and business development perspective. So myth number one that networking involves lots of small talk or awkward talk and of course small talk. How we define it now, you know, pointless talk, like, oh, OK, in the UK for instance, small talk was always the weather. Oh, nice day isn't it?

You know, because it rains there all the time. So the day they have some small sunshine, he was, oh, nice weather, isn't it? So weather point, let's talk about the economy, about things trending on social media or stuff like that. But a pointless conversation. And that's what lots of people assume. So yeah, that's the first myth. Networking, proper networking has nothing to do with small talk. Now, small talk has a way in society.

I mean, a use in society, you know, to pass the time, you know, just a harmless banter whenever you're in social situations. But then when we show up in networking situations, really, we're not there to pass the time. We're there because we're trying to meet people, we're trying to know people, we're trying to move our careers along. We're trying to move our businesses along. So pointless conversation, you know, in noble pay.

So there's there's no point now. So rather than going along with all this small talk or trying to initiate small talk, what you have to do is try and engage in pleasant other focused conversations. Then we repeat, we want these conversations to be pleasant and to be enjoyable and to be engaged. I'll be engaged, I'll be engaging to be engaging as everybody were all vibing along. And the only way that we're going to get that to happen is if we focus on the other people,

not on us. Because the goal here is we're trying to figure out who is in this room and who is worth building relationships with later. Who can we collaborate with later? Whose setup do we want to inject ourselves into later? Who could be a valuable resource? Who could be a valuable team member? Who could be a valuable this, not that, that, you know, whatever or sure, when we're in the room and we're networking, we're trying to figure out who is who.

And we can only figure that out when we engage in conversations with other people. Let me use my mistake that I've seen some people do, which is you walk into a room and you're like, oh, I graduated first class and you know, started six companies. So you're going around the whole room telling everybody, I graduated first class from university and I have started six companies and I have raised 1,000,000 in $1 million in seed funding.

Now that is some interesting bit of info. But The thing is, it is just interesting bit of info from your own point of view. And if you go around blabbing and boasting about yourself, how are you going to be able to figure out who is worth spending time with in the room? You could be talking to the daughter of the vice president and you don't know because all you've been doing is, you know, I graduated first class. I did YCI raised £1,000,000.

I did me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. So you make it about the other person. So if that's the thing that is shocking you, that, you know, you raise £1,000,000 and you know, you, you started five companies. Go around asking, hey, nice to meet you, you know, hello, blah, blah, blah, nice to meet you. I'm assuming you're here because you're a business founder as well. Or really, how many companies have you started? And then from there, be asking,

be asking, be asking, be asking, be asking questions about them, about the companies that they started, about the investment thesis, about the problems that they're trying to solve, you know, and on and on. Yes, from there, they'll be able to see that, you know what, this girl, she's sharp. She'll be good on my team. Or this guy is a baller, he could be the potential customer is from there that you will now manoeuvre and get business card and get business phone number so that after this networking session is over, you now know that you're calling this babe because she's a correct asset for my team.

Then you're calling this guy because he might be a good customer to buy your product or your service or he'll be good to invest in whatever it is that you're starting up. So don't go around at me boasting, go around be asking people questions about themselves. That will give you a sense of who is in this room, who is who, who are the movers and the Shakers. By the way, everybody's worthy of respect, OK? So we respect everybody.

But I just know that you, you understand as in we define something, we're looking for something. So we have to sift through people, but it doesn't mean we look down on some people because you know how you be now my aunt used to say no condition is permanent. And I used to think, what's this man going on about? And truly, truly, now that we've grown, I've seen that my auntie was correct because there's some people who are church rats of yesteryears and now they're the ones that are, you know, they're the ones that are full ground.

They're the ones that are running things. So respect everybody. No situation is permanent. Respect everybody. Basha, when we're in the room, we're trying to figure out who is who, who is worth building relationships with later on. OK, then let me give you an example. So for instance, there was this event that I went for, OK, why I didn't go for it was a British Council event, British Council and Commonwealth. So that was organized with, in conjunction with the British High Commission and they had just given, OK, I haven't mentioned it in my, I think in the partners I did like 2-3 days ago.

So it was, it was the departure session for those people who have been awarded Commonwealth scholarship and chief evening scholarships. So as we're wrapping up the set now there's one girl, one lady, sorry, excuse me, one young lady, she was very masterful. One guy was about walking out and then she just walked up to the fellow and she said, hey, excuse me, hi. The guy stopped and turned around. The guy see fine beep.

So the guy stopped and the girl was fine shut, I won't lie. And then she said, I noticed you're going to London School of Economics as well. And then the guy said, Oh no, it's Oxford actually. And the girl was like, oh, sorry, I thought you, you're, you were for the PPE program. PPE is politics, philosophy and economics. I know that because when I was going to OAUI actually wanted to study politics, philosophy and economics.

But Mum, she said, my son, if you study this course, you would die broke and I need to make money. So I said, OK, let me study law. And his lawyers are rich. So that's why I decided. So she said, oh, sorry, I thought you were for the PPE program. And the guy was like, yeah, actually I'm going to be doing PPE but a different school. And then the girl was like, oh, I heard you a biology undergrad. How come you chose PPE?

And the guy was like, yeah, I can tell you all about it. Are you leaving as well? Because remember, the guy was working out and the girl was like, Oh, no, actually I'm not. And the guy was like, no problem. We can't chew here for a while. And my mind, I'm thinking as he is idiot. You're on your way home because you've seen fine girl, your shining teeth. You want to stay now when is all good? It's all good. That's that's networking.

You never know. She can be a business partner tomorrow. She can't be a spouse tomorrow. I mean, you never know. So you can see now that when she walked up with that guy, all she was doing was asking questions and exploring commonality. She our scholarship is PPE. She heard this guy scholarship is PPE. Of course, it makes sense that if I'm a PPE person, politics, philosophy and economics, I suppose they network with people in my cada, people in my set,

people in my interest group, you understand, we suppose stick together because that's how as we go for this scholarship, come back and people are beginning to slot themselves in different places in society. You know, if all of us are sticking together, are we PPE people? That's how you know we'll be rising, you understand, you know, because the whole point of these programs is not Japan, is that you go for scholarship, you now come back and make yourself useful in Nigerian society.

So it makes sense that as these people are going out now, they're beginning to network and place themselves in some place, you know, arrange, you know, build some kind of alliances. So that's it. She's a PPE person and the mathematics is simple. Anybody where they do PPE, I suppose connect with this person now before all of us go because you never know who is who. If you can't jam nephew or president or something like that, by the time you're coming back and the guy is being slaughtered into one or two places you self, you go online.

So that's how networking works. But for her, what she did was brilliant. I'm going to explore commonality with people here. So for us it's the same thing, areas of commonality, who's worth building a business with, who's worth building a personal relationship with. Very, very simple. So just show up a very simple questions. What brought you here today? What is the biggest take away you've had so far on the session? Do you have any exciting projects, interested projects that you're working on?

You know, as in simple things, but The thing is it has to be focused on the other person, not on you. Now, another myth is people assume that people assume that networking can only be done when you're in a crowded room and that is not always the case. Well, look, you know what? OK, I'm running out of time here, so I'll just make a separate episode about these ones. So let's just pause. Let's just say we finished and Part 1.

I'll come back and we'll continue from Part 2. Remember, if you'd love to connect, call SMS or WhatsApp me on 08064662140. I'll catch you guys at the next episode.