Networking 002 - Random Thoughts Part 2

Hello and welcome. My name is Tavishma Aide, the host of the podcast making today's recording at home. So there will be noise in the background. Now this is going to be the second part, what I started earlier about networking. I came across a write up on LinkedIn about myths about networking. And in the previous episode I had started dispelling some of those myths from a sales and business development perspective. So if this is the first episode you're listening, you actually have to skip back because you missed one more.

All right. Now, the second myth that was contained in the article that we're going to look at is that networking occurs in crowded rooms. And well, not always because it's not really the size of the room that counts. But The thing is, whenever you're networking, you always eventually you need to have a sidebar so they can go deep in the conversation. Sidebar is when you know, you, you pull somebody aside for a chat, you know, you guys are gisting, you slide and you know,

you sit down and it's not one-on-one. You guys are having someone on one time, like the example that I gave in the last episode, the lady walks up to the guy and you know, she's like, oh, I hear you're going to London School of Economics, you know, sidebar side chat. And then from there, the networking begins. So does it have to be a crowded room? Yeah, maybe, maybe not. But The thing is, at some point you're going to need a sidebar.

You put somebody aside for a chat, you guys can go deeper into the conversation, you can get to learn some more about that person. Sometimes there's no, I mean, there's no room or no point. Like the sidebar doesn't just happen. Maybe it's like, is 4 of you guys just tonight who are just just doing that naturally and you are just feeling everybody's vibes. So in that kind of thing, where is your group convo? Definitely exchange digits,

exchange business cards. So you can call the person later on to continue the gist. So the phone call will now be, hey, what's up? This is the guy that you met at XYZ dinner, XYZ networking session, you know, so, so, so you know, do you remember the guy that we're talking about? Yeah, I remember. So, so party dinner, oh, I'm good, blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, the gist just continues like that. So yeah, crowded room or not,

yeah, it doesn't really matter. At some point you will do sidebar. If there's no rule for sidebar, it's a group convo. No problem. Exchange digits after the party, after the event, give the person a call, send a WhatsApp message, send a, let's just say WhatsApp message. Don't send e-mail. e-mail is too. e-mail is on, e-mail is on now formal level. So I don't think you can network through e-mail. Let's keep it simple and casual phone call, SMS still casual small WhatsApp is conversational.

So that one is definitely good. Then I'm another myth is not about bigger events, that you have a bigger events like big, big, big events that will lead to big better networking. Now like most things in life, they are diminishing returns when it comes to this. So of course, if it's a networking event, only two of you show, you know, there's a limit to how much networking you can do. You know, if there's four of you that show, OK, now we can't be networking.

You know, if he's 8, if he's 10, OK, making sense. But then there's a certain point where the law of diminishing returns set in, sets in, you know, if there's 100 people, you know, is that too much? If it's 200 people, is that too much? If it's 400 people, is that too much? Can you even say you can network in a room of 400 people? Like, realistically speaking, how many people will you talk to in that evening? How many?

So at some point, the law of diminishing returns, it just sets in. That's the reason why you can't network at the concert or you can't network in the market, really. So, yeah, don't be drawn. Don't be deceived by all those, you know, big, big, big, big, big, you know, like, OK, there's supposed to be a 200 person event. So therefore it's going to be much more valuable to go to than something that is a a, you know, 20 person event doesn't necessarily follow.

Then I'm another myth around business cards. So the goal is not to go and be collecting business cards because there's some people who show up for these things and you can see that man, they're just collecting, collecting this card as if as if it's Suea. You know, you see one person, you're collecting like 50 business cards. You know, in my mind, I'm thinking, OK, cool, you've collected 50 business cards. Like do you have a plan for actually calling, sending text messages, keeping in touch,

relationship building, like with 50 people from this event? You know, if you have a plan that's that's good, fantastic. You know, more on you do more of that. But if you don't, you're just collecting business cards that you will go home. You have to ask you, you know, how far did you have fun? Oh, yeah. It was a wonderful evening. I met some nice guys. And you put the card on your on your desk. You know, you go and watch something wifey.

And then, you know, from there, maybe you and your kids, you know, you play some games or something. Then you wake up the next day, you have some things to do. The next day, you have some things to do. After two weeks, you just raise your Bible. You now see all the cards there. You see like 50 of them say, oh, OK, that networking thing I did, this is where all the cards are. And then you now think, but like 2 weeks don't pass.

Like doesn't make sense. Anyway, let me keep it. I'll call them. That's how they'll be there. Then on December when you're doing spring cleaning, you find those cards again. I never called these people and it's like 8 months. What's the point? You now throw the cards away. So it's not about collecting business cards. Remember, networking is about reading the room. Who is here. You're trying to figure out who is worth keeping up with later,

Who is worth building a relationship with later? Who is worth calling, text messaging, emailing, visiting, whatever later. So don't go around collecting as many as possible. Be engaging in conversations with people and try and figure out who is worth having a conversation with. Oh, sorry about that. My neighbor has plenty, plenty cats, Plenty cats. So, you know, they get involved in fights and stuff like that. Just in case you heard that noise outside my window.

You know, funny thing is when we're moving here, they said no pets and my wife was very happy because my wife does not like animals. Only for us to move in and then lo and behold, it's like a zoo. So the neighbor behind us, they have cats, must be like 9 or maybe even 10. Then the guys in the court in front of our homecourt, that one has Peacocks, it has like 4. Then there's somebody on one of the main streets, The guy has,

you know, these dogs that, you know, are very muscular, muscular dogs, those big ones, like kind of dogs. He has, you know, bottom line is animals everywhere. And that's the job living in Nigerian society, you know, we don't follow laws. You're entering an estate. They say in this estate, no pets, no animals. Everybody would say yes, I agree. And then you move in with your cats and with your dogs and with your chickens and with your Peacocks, and supposedly I hear somebody has a snake around here anyway, So where was I?

So I was talking about collecting business cards. So the goal is not to collect as many business cards as possible. The goal is to try and read the room, go around the room, figure out who is here, who's worth keeping in touch with. And of course, the goal is also not to go around throwing around your cards because some people go for networking sessions and you think, OK, I have business cards lying around at home. I've not done anything with them.

I have 500 cards. Let me just carry 100 cards for this networking event. Let me see how many I can share. The goal is not to share 101 hundred cards. No, have conversations with people. You figure out who is worth talking to afterwards, collect that person's number, collect that person's card. Then you call the person and continue the excuse me, continue the conversation. Sorry about that. I really need to go and get my throat fixed.

So continue the the conversation with the person later, then let's see what else. So I think that's just not just my my random ideas about networking. Oh, by the way, for the younger folks, because there's somebody that I've been coaching and the guy says he doesn't go out much. And I told him that, you know, look, it's a very simple something. You can't say that you're a salesperson and, you know, you just work Monday to Friday,

maybe sleep all on Saturday and Sunday. Like trust me. Yeah, I'm a homeboy. I don't even go anywhere at all. But at least, you know, once in a while, at least twice a year or something, you know? So that's all these events that cost absolutely nothing, especially for those of you in Lagos. The previous episode I mentioned that that Lady that I thought she was being masterful was at a British Council event. Now The thing is the British Council, they have lots of teams across different areas,

academics, arts and culture, finance, music, you know, drama like you name. So all you have to do is just go and follow British Council and then just be looking at the Instagram once in a while you'd be saying, OK, they're doing this event, they're doing that event. A lot of the events are free. Some of them have finger food, some of them have correct food. But you know, either way, you put something in your belly. So it's a win win situation.

You go there, you meet cool people who are like minded. You get to have a good time, you know, go outside and flex your social muscles because sales is all about having conversations. We actually need to learn how to be adept, right? Skillful, having conversations with people. Now we don't know, it's just the nature of the job. So we have to get good at it. So attending these small, small, small things, not a problem.

So like on your Instagram now there's some of these handles, like there's one of them that is meant to curate, you know, good places to hang out in Abuja. There's another one that is based on Lagos, Another one is based on Ibadan. You know, places like that follow some of these handles because once in a while, you know, they do some things like games in the park or something. You just go, you know, these things are not all these things are free.

So they have to pay for your sweet or your drink. You know, Bob, just go out, flex your, flex your, or let's say no social muscle, networking muscle, you know, don't be too insular, especially since if you've been hitting the phones Monday to Friday, then you're now hitting the phone Monday to Friday. And that's your life generally, February, March, April, like I know it's a bit much for some of us who are homeboys, that's not a problem.

But for you regular people, you need to find ways, you know, get out and about. OK, So other tips for networking, just simple things I've spoken about before. Brush, brush your teeth, you know, brush your teeth before you step out. You never know about a goosey that you eat. The goosey might still be on your breath. So just brush, bath, freshen up, rub perfume, then alcohol. That some people who by the time they take one or two, they start to misbehave.

They start to museum. I see it all the time. So if you're not sure, just take it easy. In fact, there's one lady, I saw one event who had one glass of wine. That's just the sip, just the sip. Then after a while, you know, it's like, oh, you're really into this wine. I just like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Actually, is is the only glass I've been sipping on all evening. I say, really? She say, yeah, So she says she can't handle her alcohol.

So what she does is once she enters, she will pour one glass. That glass is what she will sip the whole night until the thing finishes. So be careful with the alcohol thing because of some of these events like the British Council events now for instance, the ones where they serve alcohol, the alcohol does, they flow freely. The waiter will come with alcohol. You know, you take one beer and then you now take one wine and then you know, again, you now take coke and rum, you know,

stuff like that. So just take it easy before this time is Yanny don't want to show yourself in the outside then, OK. Another thing that is drinks are related, especially in some of these events where the place is chilled, like chilled AC. So like Nikon, that's the Hilton Hotel and Sheraton are those networking events, you know, where the AC is really, really working. So if you get carried away, you know, you take orange juice, you now take Coke and they take Fanta, they take this and they take that.

You'll be taking too many pee breaks like on go piece on go piece. And you know somehow that you're in a conversation with someone, you know, how do you stylistically tell the person they want to go and pee? You understand, so I take it easy with the drinks then what else? So when you show up for these things, if you show up with load, managing the load is too much of a problem. So don't come with portfolio and laptop bag and then this and then that calm light just show up you a mobile phone simple or you and your handbag simple so that you can move free.

You can mingle. You don't have to worry. Where should I put my bag? Where should I put my this? Where should I put my that? Of course, females, you don't have mathematics, you will need to do should I wear 6 inch shoes? Should I wear 4 inch shoes? Should I wear block heels? You know that mathematics is really, really important because some of these things, some of these are networking events. Like I've noticed the more like the British Council, British High Commission ones.

You know those people that you know, UK style now, so you will get there and the standing room only, no chair. Like I still don't understand that culture. Like you know, it's a networking event. Like we're not here to torture ourselves. Why is this thing standing room only? So they'll just put table everywhere. Don't put chair. So if I'm going to be there for two hours, that means you'll be standing for two hours. So let's see what else.

Finally, the most important thing is relax. Just relax. Don't be nervous. You're cool as you are. You are cool already. If you're listening to this podcast, it means you're already thinking about business, thinking about careers, thinking about, you know, different kinds of things. Like, you know, a dull person, you're cool. So don't be too anxious when you show up. All these things as you are, you are a cool person. You are worthy of interest.

You're worthy that somebody should show up to you and want to talk to you. So don't worry. Relax, relax. Don't be forming too much. You're cool as you are, so just enter into the room, relax knowing that you're OK, you're cool, you're OK, you're OK. Nothing is like it, nothing is deficient. So just go in and relax and be asking people questions about themselves. Then that natural steals that you have in you, the thing will not have room to shine through.

And this one of reasons why I tell people to stop all these authentic this, authentic this, because you'll be thinking authentic this authentic this and all these other things like people who talk about power poles. So you want to enter the room, you want to do power poles, you want to enter with grandeur, you want to make statement, but you're thinking you, you, you, you, you. That's where you know you have room to fumble the ball.

But just relax. You're good, you're OK. Nothing lacking, nothing shaky. You're right. Buffer, freshen up. You're good, you're OK. Just enter the room. Casual. Cool. Let's look around you see somebody who you think is interesting starting up a conversation with a stranger. It seems daunting. That is if you are thinking of what to say, but rather think of the questions to ask. Once you have one or two questions that you can start conversations.

Very, very simple. Very, very simple. OK, I shouldn't be saying very simple. It takes some practice. It gets easier with time, which is why if you can't look for ways to practice easy or some of these free events. Now I'm talking about you just see on Instagram, The thing is happening is not too far, you calculate it, transport is not too much. You just go for this thing and you, you try with time, you get better. So yeah, that's a pretty much.

So that's my own level of myth busting around networking. So let me bring it to a close here. No need to stretch it anymore. So that's a pretty much. If you'd love to connect, you can call, send me a text message or a WhatsApp message on 08064662140. Thank you for your time and attention. I'll catch you at the next episode.