Overcoming Fear and Doubt in Business

Hello and welcome to the show. Before we continue, apologies because my my infection or whatever it is has taken a turn for the worst and so I suspect that I might be coming down with a sore throat anytime soon. So this might be a laboured episode but still let me go go ahead anyway because we are behind and I'm going to go through a couple of thoughts. A couple of thoughts on a LinkedIn post that I saw a couple of days ago.

This was supposed to be a podcast episode that should have aired on the 1st of October 2024, was a public over a public holiday over here in Nigeria. And I can't remember how I missed that that day. So the post that I saw on LinkedIn was around professionals experiencing fear and doubt. And the fellow who put out the post was a lawyer. And then he had a couple of comments about how to deal with that. So I figured I'd just hop on the pod real quick and then make a couple of comments around around that.

Yeah. But before we continue, yeah. Stuff on the playlist. Yeah. The last time I shared with you guys some stuff on the playlist so that you guys can waiting on the debate between me and my wife, you know, whether I'm a nerd or not because she says I'm a nerd. I say I'm not. So I figured, let me show you some stuff that I've been up to. So now on the playlist. This time I'm listening to Shame Shame Bo SE that is SEINBO.

And then they say is SEY, assuming that I'm pronounced incorrectly. For those of you who listen to how Stoff and it's your jam, let me know. Let me know how the name is pronounced. And she has this song that was known by Yusu Undu. So those of us who are of late 70s, early 80s kids, you should remember him from back in the day. That's Queen Nigerians. But I think he's from, I remember he's from Mali or Senegal or someplace like that.

But very good vocalist. And I like Shambo because she has a really big female voice. And I discovered her because her song was the soundtrack to Rebel Ridge. That's another thing I watched on on on Netflix. Yeah, about the black guy who turned out to be a military specialist. You know, police were messing with him. They got his brother killed and it turned out to be a nice revenge flick. You know, one of those movies that inspire you to become a bad ass and let's see.

OK. And then on Netflix, just done with Lisa B Yoruba, epic movie. I think production value or the movie was was dope, real good. Although I think the depictions of rape, many were graduators, so I think they could have kept that out. But yeah, those are stuff that has been on my playlist recently. So, yeah. With that out of the way, let's head straight into the LinkedIn post. So, yeah, so like I said, was written by a lawyer and was about professionals experiencing fear and doubt.

And yeah, so my own comments, yeah, people, professionals experiencing doubts, not just professionals, anybody really, because in the Nigerian context, I always say professionals, typically we mean lawyers and doctors, engineers, accountants, you know, those sorts of people. But I don't say that it goes beyond that. So even wedding professionals or people who sell catfish or wedding caterers or people who do laundry services, I mean,

everybody experiences fear and doubt. That's just normal. So whether you're a baby lawyer or a baby doctor, oh, by the way, in this part of the world where we say baby lawyer, we actually mean somebody who is still doing their underground part of their training or you've just recently been called to the bar. So that's what baby lawyer means. Well, at least back when I was still in school anyway. If anybody's had baby lawyer or baby doctor, that's what they would mean.

Because I went to school in above my Wallow University, the greatest school on the African continent, and we had a very vibrant legal faculty and medical faculty. So of course there's a whole bunch of us baby lawyers and baby doctors running around the place. So baby doctors, baby lawyers who all experience fear and doubt is just normal. We all experience fear and doubt and rejection when dealing with people. Consultants, newbie consultants experience fear and doubt.

Even seasoned consultants also experience fear and doubt because eventually you move into a new client base or start solving some kind of problems that you haven't solved before. So that's just normal. Baby photographers go through it, Fashionistas go through it. Everybody goes through fear and doubt, especially when it comes to being rejected because you're talking to clients. So it's just, it's just normal. So step one, if you're going through these sorts of feelings,

just know that you're not alone. Everybody has been through it. In fact, in your house, look at your wife or look at your girlfriend, she's been through it. You're female. Look at your husband who's been through it. Look at popsy Momsy. They've been through it. Colleagues have been through it. So it's just normal. Now, what the lawyer recommended was a community driven initiatives that can build confidence. Oh, sorry, this is not the post I was written by a lawyer.

This is the post I was written by by a communications professional based in Lagos. Yeah, by a communications professional based in Lagos. Now when we say communications professionals is just an umbrella term that can mean all kinds of people like public relations, advertising, what else? Content marketing, like all kinds of stuff, basically the marketing function of the business. So this is one I was written by a communications professional.

So the one that was written by a lawyer, I'm going to make comments about that one earlier. But anyway, that doesn't affect all the things that I've said prior. So the person spoke about community driven initiatives to build confidence, obviously, because the person who was writing the post has one of those communities that can help professionals deal with these sorts of things. And yeah, it's something I would recommend, you know, joining our community because, you know,

when you're with like minds, you guys talk about your problems, you can get some good support, some good encouragement and getting through it. So the fellow spoke about different kinds of communities, like communications organisations like the one that he has. Sorry that she has then. OK. Beyond that, these are some other kinds of communities that I've heard about in the past in Nigeria. We have etiquette schools or etiquette classes, finishing seminars, finishing schools, all these sorts of things.

That's also another way that some professionals have tried to get around their fear and doubt when dealing with customers. So, you know, like if you're a lawyer, you go to one of these etiquette places, learn how to speak right, learn how to dress right, not your tie, right. What's the difference between an American knot, the British knot? How do you not your tie properly? When should you use a real tie? When you use a long necktie,

when you use a bow tie, you know, blah, blah, blah, all these sorts of things. So there are institutions like that, OK institutions, that's the bigger word. There are any cash adrift, the organizations like that based in Legos that I know that you can go and get this kind of education. So if you're a lawyer, bank accountant here, you can go to that place and learn. Should you be wearing a blue suit or black? Should you be wearing pinstripe or not?

What is the right type to wear before a customer meeting? Shoot your shoes, match your belt buckle, you know, and all this other stuff. Then of course other community driven initiatives out there like Toastmasters, because people join Toastmasters, they figure if I go there and I learn how to speak well and I'm really eloquent, then that should help with confidence. Every single time I'm giving a public presentation or when I'm trying to close the deal, I'm in front of a particular client.

So no matter what you're going to try and do, I think all these things are not bad ideas, you know, and all ideas are, are welcome. But I do have one concern when I come across these sorts of posts. And the concern that I have is that they get you, the professional, the business owner, they get you in an insular frame of mind and they get you to focus on you and they get you to focus on your deficiencies, which is a very difficult hole to climb out of.

So let's say you are the Yoruba guy or the Yoruba girl and you have a nasty age factor as you open your mouth and it's just HHHH factor up and down. Dealing with that age factor is going to be a problem. If every single time you head into a meeting or you head into a negotiation or you you've been rejected, you think it's because you sound Yoruba because of age factor. So it's hard to overcome the age factor going into every single engagement thinking about the age factor.

So that's the reason why all these insular things, I think they can be, they can be very difficult. And yes, I do know people who go and join Toastmasters. And the goal of joining Toastmasters is to get rid of your Yoruba age factor or to help you pronounce better because maybe you think it's anti boutique or something. Or maybe you're a Teeth chap and you think maybe you sound too local. So you want to clean yourself up so that when you start looking for clients in Lagos or Abuja,

you know, you sound like like your age. So that's my concern that these things are too, they're too insulin. So I rather try to get people to amplify their industry experience. I think that's a really good idea because you have a nasty age factor, but people can't escape the fact that you're the very guy or you're the very girl when it comes to engineering or taxation or whatever. Then regardless of the edge factor, people just have to deal with you.

I mean, just it is what it is. It's like Nigerians on our engagement so far with people, you know, in the Chinese community. So I mean, they open their mouth, they sound funny, but The thing is, if this engineer is the issue, then he's the issue and that's it. Simple as that. So when people talk about amplifying industry expertise, I think, yeah, that's a much more helpful idea. But realise that knowledge sometimes is never really the main issue.

The main issue sometimes is that you feel you're not competent, so you don't have a practical application of what the things are. So go and get the knowledge, but focus more on the hands on expertise, the hands on doing the practical part to help boost your sorry, excuse me, to help boost your, your confidence. Then the lady in the post also spoke about fear of self emotion. Now that's a problem. And yes, it's, it's possible that that might be a problem,

especially for those of us in the Nigerian context. You know, we're all taught to be in this part of the world anyway. We're taught to be polite and we're taught not to talk too much about ourselves. You know, don't be too far, don't be too big for yourself. You know, this whole Niger, like even the UK kind of have that vibe about them. And I've heard about, I mean, Denmark, you know, the thing about the tall puppy, like if you're too tall, you know, the tall puppy, if you're trying to show yourself other people, you know, cut you down South,

there's some more of that thing. But if it's, if it's a fear of self promotion that we're dealing with, then the solution I think is not really community and all the other stuff that we've been talking about. But we should stop thinking about our business activities in terms of promoting ourselves. We should think more in terms of delivering value. And that's the reason why I keep on harping on about how educational content, I think is the way to go.

Because with educational content, you're not necessarily saying, look at me, look at me, I'm the biggest, I'm the best, I'm the brightest, I'm the smartest. But you are showing off your expertise in a very valuable way, in a very subtle way, and people kind of get the message. So you've been listening to this podcast for a while, particularly those of you who've reached out to me for engagements. You want me to come and coach your people?

Well, you want to help. You want me to help you solve particular business problems. It's because I've been showing off in quotes in a very tasteful way, in a very classy way, which is making content here on the podcast that highlights my expertise, my knowledge base, the use case scenarios that I can work with might be of help, you know, things like that. So yes, in a sense it is showing off, especially since now I have over 950 episodes, but he's doing so in a classy, tasteful way.

So you can listen to the podcast and say I'm being braggadocious. Now for those of you who think I am, I'd like to have a look at your LinkedIn handle, especially those of you who when you post on LinkedIn, the only thing you say is, well, I just got promoted. My daughter just made it to this school. I bless God for my life. Now you make the picture standing in front of your Lexus Jeep and you know, blah, blah, blah and all that.

But hey, don't mind me, that's just personal beef I have with with some other folks that need not concern you guys over here. So don't think in terms of self promotion. Don't wake up and think, how can I promote myself every day? Wake up and think, how can I educate the market? How can I educate my potential customers, my potential partners, my potential stakeholders, my potential XYZ? So where can I think about ways that you can educate the market?

Well, that's why producing content online or speaking at seminars or whatever. And this is the very subtle difference between being excessively self promotional and not. So that's the reason why you may have attended one business seminar and one guy or one girl stood on the stage and was masterful for 30 or 45 minutes, but then you just thought no more. This person is just promoting, promoting, promoting like this is absolute rubbish.

And then you have an encounter with another speaker who maybe you've seen them 10 times and each time they seem just as masterful and they may even speed longer. Maybe each time is an hour or two or something. But you've seen the other person more, but they don't come across as self promotional. But the other person that you've seen lesser than, they come across as self promotional. And this is just the minor tweaking emphasis that makes all the difference.

If one person is trying to educate the market, the stakeholders, potential customers, educate everybody out there. It's different than standing up on stage saying I graduated first class, I'm the best and I'm the brightest, and This is why it should work with me. So summary, let me see. And so summary my solution basically is don't think of promoting yourself, rather just go out and deliver value. Also, don't start with your deficiencies.

Don't worry about your age factor. There's a time of trying to get rid of your age factor or your ebotic accent or if you come from banner state like me, you know, we have a way that we pronounce some words funny. Don't don't worry about that. To be a time to get with that. The focus should also always be on our potential audience, what their needs are, and when we're looking at factors outside of ourselves, we should do just fine.

I got the confidence that we can, that we need to move things forward at one step at a time. So whenever you're face to face with someone or face to face with an audience, don't be thinking about your age factor or how you will take you up or how you're from a small town. You're a small town boy, you know, from Benoit State or Taraba or whatever. You should be focused real sharply on who are you talking to, what are the problems that they have, what visions are they working towards, what is their level of expertise?

You know, that is necessary because that determines the kind of information or the kind of solutions that you're going to discuss with them. And if you keep things on that level, even though you have a nasty age factor, you know, people might chuckle, but if you're the guy, you're the guy. And if you're the babe, you're the very babe. And they can't run away from that. So this is the kind of focus that is going to inform the social media content that we put out, the proposals that we send to customers, the presentations that we make before our audience.

This kinds of thing will also determine, you know, inform our style, whether we're going to be formally informal or casual, what else? So also going to inform the media that we use. Should we go live on stage? Should we do this thing online? Should we create APDF? Should we create an audio? It's going to inform our tone. Are we direct or subtle? The way we dress, you know, so, so is that paying attention to all these things first?

Who are you talking to? What's the problem? What's the goal? What's their level of expertise? What are the possible questions that they may have? Let that inform all the changes that we need to make. And then don't start off with your fears and your doubts and trying to overcome them, but focus, focus on getting more experience. I can't stressed out a lot because confidence comes from doing. There are too many people who are trying to wield themselves or manifest confidence and just it's not it's not going to happen.

It's not going to happen. You know, I started off as a wedding photographer and true of the matter is like shooting a wedding is scary. It's you and the camera. OK, of course you have your guy there or you have your your baby, your second shooter. But as you guys standing for 12 hours trying to deliver good stuff and like, if you're fumbling, you can form you, you're fumbling you can, you can be forming confido and everything, but trying to wheel yourself into confidence, it's it's not going to happen.

There's a natural confidence that comes after you shot a bunch of weddings. So by the time you've done 10/20 weddings, you face a number of scenarios. Maybe Brach was oblate or your flash gets damaged. That's happened to me. Or your lens falls and almost cracks. That has happened to me. Let's see what else? Let's see what else. There's a meltdown. The bride starts crying. I've been in those sorts of situations and you're now wondering, OK, great, she's crying.

The makeup is messed up. How are we going to do the portraits? But I'm just trying to say is somebody who has built up some experience because person has shot 1012203040 weddings, there's a natural confidence that comes with it because the person has been in those situations. So the person truly knows like, yeah, no need to fret, the couple is running late. OK, no problem. What's the backup? Where's the venue? Are there any good locations there?

Where can we pull them? Sharp, sharp to do a quick portrait here, quick portrait there. You know, that kind of confidence, overcoming fear and doubts, you know, just comes with experience. So we should be focusing on getting more experience because truly, truly, I say on TV, confidence comes from the doing. So it's nice to try and manifest confidence, but you know, manifesting and morning affirmation and community something something all the love and all the rah rah everything.

Now please stop, stop giving yourself all that false confidence. Just go out and try and get us most experience, as much experience as possible, which is the reason why I also say sometimes don't just launch in straight. So as the wedding photographer got a second shoot for it. Well, yeah, you want to be your own boss, but second shoot for somebody. Pick two or three people that you respect that we're going second, shoot for them.

By the time you second shoot for photographer A6 weddings, photographer B4 weddings, photographer C 3 weddings, you know that's 15, that's 1215 weddings under your belt. When you're not handling your client, you're going to be cool, you're going to be calm because you've walked through a bunch of things. There are one more thing that I'd like to point out is let's all realise that expertise is contextual because for the professional, remember that this is aimed towards communications professionals.

For professionals. One of the reasons why we're scared is we don't want to come across as frauds. You don't understand on stage and come across as the authority. Meanwhile, you just graduated from Mark Unilac marketing department exhausted months ago. You graduated so you don't understand on stage and come across as a fraud. So that's, that's normal. In fact, it's good that you feel that way. But then excuse me, just realized that expertise is contextual.

If you think of it that way, you'll find that you're more than qualified to talk to the current audience, people that you're actually talking to. So if you've only graduated from marketing department UNILAG two months ago, you're currently doing NYC service. Let's say you're serving in Kano and you're invited to Bairu. Have we Kano? Is that Bairu? I can't remember. I can't remember. Anyway, you invited the university there to go and talk to the marketing department.

If in the three months since you graduated, you've actually been doing some PP, some private practice on your own, I mean with another person, you've worked on marketing projects, then that's absolutely fine. It's not like people are calling you to give your presentation in front of Illuminou and Dangote and you're now espousing on how to promote African and market African enterprise. You're somebody who has finished the degree, you did that three months ago and you have three months work of experience.

So now that you're speaking to people who are still in school, who are not yet where you are, you do have the expertise to talk on the things that you're talking about. South expertise is relative, and that's the reason why I can stand here in front of you guys and say the things that I say, because expertise is relative. That's why I don't talk about billionaires and stuff like that over here on the show because I'm not there yet.

When I get there and I'm rolling in the billions, yeah, you'll start seeing those headlines of how to make billions of naira in 2027 or whatever. But I'm not there yet. So I'm being honest about where I am. I'm keeping it true, keeping the contextual where I am. And that's the reason why none of you can stand up and say, hey, young man, you're a fraud. Get off that stage. That's why you can't do that because expertise is relative.

Expertise is contextual. And for now, I happen to know more than you, dear listener, listening to the show. And that's what gives me the right to stand here with this megaphone and say the things that I say. An example that you guys should remember for those of you who've been listening to the podcast for a while is when I was invited by the good folks at NBC, that's the Nigerian Bottling Corporation. Now, those are the people who are the franchisees is a franchise, a big franchise, or the people who own the franchise for distributing Coca-Cola and all those other products in Nigeria.

And I was invited to talk about artificial intelligence, about how you can use that to improve your career and improve your business. So the reason why I could stand on that stage and talk with a full chest is because even though AI is not my air of specialty, it's not my thing. As a sales and business development consultant who uses AI everyday to run their business and also solve problems for clients, I could speak about my experience in doing these sorts of things.

Even though I don't have a coding degree, no engineering degree and blah, blah, blah. It's contextual. Now for those of you been listening to the show, of course, you remember the time when I spoke to my mentee from University of Aberdeen because that's where I had my second degree and we're talking AI issues and my guy is an engineering graduate and the guy just launched off into his Holi. I think he assumed that me and him, we know like on the same level.

I had to calm the boy down, like, hey, I've reached that level, yet I'm still on the level of LLMS, ChatGPT, Google Gemini, you know, basic stuff. I don't know all the coding, I don't know all the infrastructure, I don't know all the back office, every, every. So I, I told the guy, can't talk about that. This is the extent of my knowledge. So if your organization calls me to talk about how I can use artificial intelligence to improve the state of your business, oh definitely, I'll go on that stage and I'll do so confidently and talk with the food chest.

But if the Nigerian Engineers Society coming to talk about AI, now that's a different thing. That kind of conversation, Oh yes, I will respectfully decline. Except if the engineers, they want to know about how they can use AI to build their businesses, then yeah, sure I can. We can have that conversation. But just remember that expertise is relative, expertise is contextual. I guess what I'm trying to say is to get confidence and to avoid your fears.

Overcome your fears. Stop looking inwards. Looking inwards. It's possible, but it's hard. Rather, look at words. Look at your audience. What tasks are they trying to solve? What challenges are they working through? What opportunities are they chasing after? How can you get more experience? How can you practice more? How can you build competence? You take that path and you're going to be just right. So that's pretty much all right.

So let me stop wheezing in your ears because it's almost 30 minutes Connect with me on WhatsApp, phone number 08064662140 country code is +234 and connect with me on on LinkedIn, the name to look for establishment IED. I'm the host of the show. You check the link while you're currently listening to this episode and I liked copy and paste. You see my handsome face and you can holler. I will continue with the conversation.

In fact, listen, a shout out today is to Jim Jurowitz wits. Jim Jurowitz, sorry if I'm mispronouncing your name. He is with Omni Channel Global and he's based in Minneapolis, USA, and he's in the digital transformation space. Thank you very much for listening to the show and thank you very much for for reaching out. Yeah. So that's it. So just like Jim did reach out, let's have a convo and let's see how we can build better businesses, improve our lot.

So thanks for your time and attention. I'll catch you guys in the next episode. Hopefully. I should be feeling much better there and stop wheezing painfully into your ears. So you all have a wonderful day.