People don't want to have meetings with me! What's the problem and what can I do?

Good afternoon and welcome to the show. It's a wonderful Thursday afternoon. In Abuja in case you've noticed the noise in the background, the cars and all that, it's because I'm currently on the fuel Q. We're having fuel shortages again in the city in Abuja. Well, not like the Cure, the accused went anywhere over the last maybe and a half, so it's just part of our daily existence at the moment anyway, but not to be a downer.

We are going to tackle a question. That is not particular to you just in case you are one of the people who happen to be having these challenges. So the question for today is people are declining face-to-face, meetings with me, what's the problem? And what can I do? So again, the question people are declining face-to-face. Meetings with me. What's the problem? And what can I do? So like I mentioned in the intro, it's not a problem that is particular to you.

If you if you are having, if you have this problem, At the moment because everyone faces it at some point especially those and people who are involved in certain industries. Where at some point having a face-to-face meeting is desired or practical or useful software instance in for those of you who are listening to the podcast for a while you know that I started off in the wedding and the event space. And so in those spaces is not typical, it's not It is very typical rather to have a meeting with the vendor that you're going to be doing business with if you're the bride or the groom because you're going to be spending hundreds of thousands of narrower in some cases,

millions of Nara when it comes to renting the hall. So it only makes sense that for high value and high ticket items like that. People are going to want to have a face-to-face meeting. People want to come to your event Hall to come. And not only look at the facilities by check you out as a manager, people want to be able to check out your studio as a wedding photographer. They also want to see what your office is like or whatever if you are the event planner.

And so, those sorts of things are typical and then there are other Industries or other service traits. Like, for instance, people in the finance and maybe in Insurance, it makes sense, especially if you're dealing with high, net worth individuals, to put a show in to go to their homes, to go to their offices, or wherever to have a face-to-face because they're going to have lots of Questions to ask about wealth management, your investment philosophy, things like that.

Basically, the sorts of conversations that cannot be done over email, or it would be too cumbersome to have over WhatsApp. So, for lots of people, this question makes a lot of sense. So if you're an insurance, professional your wedding photographer, your the event, planner your, the insurance salesperson, whatever it is that you are, you're the swimming instructor, or people don't want to have face-to-face meetings. With you moms, don't want to see you.

Other house to discuss swimming lessons for the kids in primary school or whatever. What are you supposed to do? So no one take courage in the fact that it's not just a problem that is Uniquely Yours. So we're going to have lots of tidbits over here on the podcast, they help you out. And then of course if you discuss other people in your field, you're going to be able to find useful hints about how people get around this problem.

Now, the multiple reasons why people want to reject acting face-to-face meetings with you or in-person meetings with you. Now, for the sake of Simplicity I'm going to remove the extremely or less a personal reasons that people might have for not wanting to meet with you. Including sanitary reasons, maybe your breath stinks. Let's see what else, you know, stuff like that. So I'm going to ignore all those sorts of reasons because there's nothing that I can say, from a sales perspective that will be able to help.

So, for instance, if you have halitosis, I think that's the situation. Sean, where the some glands at the back of your throat. I think those ones that either produce, mucus are responsible for producing antibiotics. I think anti antibodies. Sorry, I think they become inflamed and so the produce that nasty smell at the back of your mouth, it's unfortunate. Some people have a condition. I went to school with one of those jobs and so yeah, my apologies or rather our sympathies.

If you're one of those individuals who have those problems like apart from halitosis body, odor stuff. Like that. So meeting with a medical professional is going to be the way to go. If those are the sorts of problems that you are having now for the rest of us, the reason why potential clients are declining meetings with us much more practical. Number one, their security concerns especially for those of us in this part of the world in Nigeria and Ghana where else you don't just want to let anybody into your own space.

How do you know that the person is not a thief. It's not a robot is not associated with any. Was groups, aren't bloody bloody bloody so Nigeria. Ghana Chad. Okay, maybe not Ghana Nigeria, Chad Cameroon where else? You know, we we know ourselves. We know those countries. I'm not trying to say that any of the countries that I have mentioned. In this case, particularly bad or particularly nasty. I'm not trying to Blacklist those countries because even if it's in America or in the UK,

those challenges are still there. You are worried about who it is that you're letting into your home or into your office space. And so people want to be concerned so security concerns. Then there's also the time commitment of having a meeting with you. Because face-to-face, meetings often involve driving to, or from a venue, given somebody 20, 30 minutes of your time, you're not sure how that person is going to manage the time, and in other words agreeing to a meeting with someone.

Even if you agree to it being a one, our meeting it's not out of place depending on which part of the country you live in, or which part of the world you live in is not out of the place for that to turn. To a to our commitment. Because imagine you drive 30 minutes to get there, 30 minutes back, that's already an hour. You scheduled a meeting for 30 minutes. The person shows up late and he goes over by 15 minutes. And, you know, that's it.

That's two hours of your day gone. So especially for those people who live in Lagos in Port Harcourt. Let's see what else. You know, certain cities in Brazil that have huge traffic congestion. These are not these are not small concerns that time commitments. And then the Daddy of them all, is that you are being pushy, or, should I say the big? Mommy of them all the big daddy of the big Mumy because yesterday was International women's day.

So happy International women's day to the listeners of the show. Where was I? Okay. So the Big Daddy of the big Mumy of them. All is actually being pushy. Nobody wants to deal with a pushy individual at all. Whether in personal relationships or in business relationships, so those are the three problems and more on the Practical concern of security. Number two, is the time commitment of having to deal with you. And then number three, you are being pushy.

These are some of the reasons why people are declining meetings with you. And now we're going to go into what you can do to solve these problems. Now for the security challenges, the only thing you can do is to make sure that you are a credible professional. You have to make sure that you come across as credible, professional because if you look credible, you sound credible, then it lessens the chance that the potential customer is welcoming a crook or a fraudster into their personal space.

I know some of you might not be convinced with this because some frauds are really good at impersonating, authoritative and credible people, but that's not really Our concern. That's the, that is what our potential customers or potential client should do. They should do their best to weed, people out on your own part. You can't do anything about the fraudster, so just try to appear as competent as professional as you can.

So now, the larger question becomes rather next question. Now becomes how do you establish credibility audio? Established competence. And the answer like many other questions on the podcast, is it depends. It depends. According to the context, it depends according to your product, to your service, your trade your industry. So it depends. So for instance, in some Industries credentials, a huge way of showing credibility.

So if you are in medicine, law, architecture accounting engineering Finance Etc. Then create a bit credentials are huge. So like my first, my academic background was in law, and so in Nigeria, if a potential customer who is a high net worth individual has to take a choice between two legal teams. And let's say, one of them is headed by a senior advocate of Nigeria. And the other is headed by someone who just came out of law school.

Maybe eight years ago. Chances are that the senior Advocate is going to be able to book the meeting over the junior person. I'm not going to say this is right, or this Wrong. I'm just saying, that's the way it is. So if you have credentials, then bring them up during the sales process. So if you are in the finance industry, talk about your CFA Charter CFA, that's the chartered financial analyst. For those of you been listening to the show, you know that my wife has a text from Level 1 and she's getting ready for level 2

and I know she's going to paste that. And then after that level 3, and we're going to have that one in the bag. And as you start rolling out business opportunities that we have as a family. Emily tied to that, I'll keep you guys posted. So yeah, for those of you ladies, listening to the podcast, more girl power on module power, towards my wife for that. Yeah. So are we okay? So if you have your save data in your, if your insurance and your in barking, it's something that you ought to bring up during the sales process when you're having a conversation with the client.

So if you guys are talking investment wealth management and blah blah blah blah blah then of course it makes sense to say that You have the charter, your financial chartered analyst and you got your qualifications, you know, 8 10 years ago and you've been working on this field ever since you know, it's something that you ought to bring up in the conversation because if I'm a high net worth individual and I want somebody to manage my millions or my billions and this choice between CFA

charterholders who is trying to reach me. And then another person who is the youngest Sun or the younger daughter of a friend, but who just came out from business school? Maybe, they just got their MBA last year. Chances are might look towards the CFA holder, who's been in the business close to a decade. Maybe they don't even have their CFA, but, and I'm sure you get the point. So in these industries, people are assessing credentials all the time, so if you are credentialed, bring it up.

We go a doctor lawyer architect, you know, bring Your credentials. So like a connecting in certain environments or rather with certain people here in Nigeria. There's a difference between an architect who finished in from the University of Jaws or who finish from Obama will University. There's a difference between that kind of architect, another architect who might have finished in maybe Oxford and then from there went to do, the atsuko do further studies in the New York Institute of modern design and architecture or something, you know.

So for some people that makes all the difference. So if you have the credentials be sure to drop it. Then of course there's also a professional history. Okay yes I mentioned professional history already where if you're into wealth management you want to mention that you've been doing that for the past 10 or 15 years. I make it easier for people to hop on a call with you. So your professional history, your trade history, and then, of course some name-dropping.

So if you have the CFA you've been doing this for the past 10 years and then you happen to be referred to mrs. Or getting beat by her best friend. Let's say, But I'm busy and you've been handling. But I'm busy is account for the last, let's say five years and you've helped our Investment Portfolio grow by 150%, you know, in this case, it all adds up together and it makes it much more likely. That means we're getting, we might take the meeting, my, take the meeting with you, not just because you have the credentials and professional history and the trade history.

But then, you've done a bit of name, dropping you've named drop that you've worked with her friend, Madame BC, or maybe some other, Other notable individual that people know, okay, I'm sorry about that. I had to turn on the car suddenly, the queue is moving and I forgot that I left the radio on. That's where that sound came from. Anyway, welcome to the world of producing podcasts live and in the field. Okay, so I'm sorry.

I lost my train of thought. Where was I? Okay, so now name-dropping, another way that we can achieve some credibility or social competence is if we build commonality with people because it's just a human thing that we assume that people. Of a similar functional State and life. Like we are must be as competent as credible as we are, if nothing else. So, try and show some commonality with people that you are having conversations with because people are comfortable with people who are like them,

they like doing business with people who are like them. Well that's not always the case. Because of course when you go to the brain surgeon or the cardiologist you expect that the brain surgeon or the cardiologist is more educated than you are. Well, I At least in this particular field many I'm sure you guys get the point. So you're trying to build some Rapport rapport with them and emphasize the common factors between both of you now.

Where are we? Okay that's dealing with competence and credibility. So we have three factors second was time. Yes, the perceived time of having a meeting with you. So like I said, in certain parts of the world Lagos portal, Court Nigeria somebody agrees to a 30-minute meeting. That actually turns into a two-hour time commitment. And so, well, at least that's what the person thinks. Anyway. So how do we get around that?

So, what, how we get around? That is, well, first off, we have to spell out the agenda ahead of time. So, miss are getting big. Thank you very much for having the meeting with me. We're going to be discussing ABC and 123 so you have that kind of phone calls me. So getting me all you sent her the text message or you send out the email and she sees that the agenda is tight and concise. It gives her a sense that okay, you know what, yes, this meeting we can wrap it up in 10 minutes,

we can wrap it up in 15 minutes. It's more comfortable comforting to the potential client and it also gives them a sense of what to expect or what to deal with at the meeting. Then of course you can also make it convenient for them to meet them on their own medium on their own turf. So instead of having Madam or getting big, go to a mutual location that you guys decide you can decide. Meet at office or some other place.

That's much more convenient for her if she can lessen the time commitment on her own and it makes it much more likely to want to accept the meeting. Then, of course, let's see. What else? Okay, we have to be sure that everyone sees the value or the need for the meeting. That's a big one. And this is how you make people see the value of the need for the meeting. There's a basic criteria that can use to filter people before you propose having a meeting with them to explore options.

Because if you aren't certain service, Sessions. Like I mentioned if you are in wealth management insurance or if your wedding photographer nobody is just going to hand over hundreds of thousands of Nara to you to photograph their wedding or the millions of naira of their portfolio for you to manage if you cannot establish some value upfront or if they don't think there's any need for it. So the criteria that you can use to weed out who to ask for meetings in the first place is an old one that we prefer to right here on the podcast.

Something that Zig Ziglar I've spoken about time and time again. If you're familiar with these videos I'm sure you know this one and that is want need and afford. So not Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy and that's want need and afford. You want to be sure that you're speaking to someone who wants the product or the service that you have who needs a product or the service that you have and it looks like the person can afford. Those are the sort of people you should be asking for meetings because we are asking for people.

If you're asking for meetings and it looks like the person can afford the Hefty fees for Wealth Management. Ain't but quite frankly, they are not interested in wealth management. Maybe they think. Look, I'm a young man, I'm 50 years old. I'm not going to die tomorrow. So I'm not going to have this conversation. It's not about whether the individual is right or wrong. It's about what the individual things and as far as he's concerned, I'm a healthy 50 year old.

I'm not going to die tomorrow. God willing our live for another 30 years. I'm not having this wealth conversation. Now, I'm not having this insurance conversation. Now, I'll have it when I'm 70 or when I'm 80, it's nothing you can do about that. Don't bother asking that individual for the meeting because the A person will feel that the meeting is not of value to them. So always be thinking want need and afford. When you're thinking of who to invite for meetings and who not to okay, apologies?

The Q we are moving again. So I have to have the car in gear and move down the line. Oh shit. Okay, all right cool. Now let me Alright. Okay, so where are we? Okay. Yeah. What. What needed afford one heater for. Yes, won't need and for that's the usual criteria to figure out who to ask for meetings. And so if a person doesn't meet these basic criteria, don't bother asking him to come for the meeting because they are not going to find the meeting to be valuable.

And so now to the last one, you're being pushy, how do we stop harassing people to be fair? There's some people who are very pushy but do not know and there are people who are very, there's some people who Are very reserved and who also do not know that as well. So whenever it comes to being pushy being aggressive, those sorts of issues, we can't go with how we feel at the moment. So it's not about whether you feel aggressive, you feel pushy,

or you feel like you're mousy, or you feel like you're too laid-back, we need to look for some objective criteria to pesos. I was in put it away. So, okay, so now to stop being pushy, we should only be dealing with people that we've had qualified conversations with, let me repeat, you should only be dealing with people that you've had qualified conversations with. Now, for those of you who've listened to the show, we already know what if you've listened to any number of episodes, maybe 10, 20 episodes already know what qualification is but for the newbies, those who are listening to the show.

For the first time qualification is the power, Part of the sales process where you engage the person in conversations, whether whether it's verbal conversations, whether it's over the phone, whether email you guys are pinging back and forth, you're texting, or what I'm line is, you are engaging, the person in conversations, no matter the medium and you're trying to figure out who they are, what they're about, what the problem is the vision that they're trying to solve, you know,

whatever that sort of thing. So you're the lawyer, you're trying to figure out What's the problem? Why is the person calling me? What's the problem with the tournament or, or what are the issues with the election? The person wants us to go to the election, tribunal, you know, that's something that is currently happening. At the moment in Nigeria, electrons are being contested. So if somebody calls you up as a lawyer, and they want you to go to the Electoral tribunal on their behalf, these are the sorts of questions.

You'll be engaging them in cause you're trying to figure out what's going on. So those are qualification conversations. And so now when you're done with that process, the assumption is that now the person that you spoken to is how I put it without sounding too uppity, the person is now qualified for you to invest your time, your resources and your emotions in, try and further the business relationship. So 24 qualifications, there are many frames or qualifications are many when you're done listening to this podcast.

If you use this Function in your podcast app you can scroll back and find episodes where I've dealt into some of this with more detail. But I'll see if I can go over two or three here. Easy ones easy to remember that you can use so of course I already mentioned want need and afford, the person wants what it is if they need what it is and your looks like they can afford what it is, then the chances are they're going to be willing to hear back from you and they're going to be willing to take a meeting.

So in that case, so long as you're focusing on wants needs and afford you, You are not being pushy. So if you guys agreed on Monday that you guys are going to have a meeting on Thursday. If you send a reminder on Wednesday that is not being out of place, that is not being pushy. That is just you being a consummate professional because you guys agreed, it looks like this want, there's a need and there's not a person can afford so by all means do what you can to push the relationship forward.

You will not be pushy. And in fact, the person will be glad that you mind. At them about meeting because let's face it. You've lost the senatorial elections. Let's say the person has lost a senatorial Elections, office district and they're looking for a competent lawyer. They have invested a lot in the elections. They really want outcome. They really want a redress, they want justice. So if they forget, they actually will be happy.

That buyers are so, so on. So as we call them in this part of the world, we call every single is called Barista, so we'll be happy that buyers are. So, so actually call them to remind them about the Meeting with Oberstar. Thank you very much for reminding me and while I know problem so Hilton hotel tomorrow, 10 a.m. no problem, I'll be there. What was that? Okay. So what did on the faulty then there's also banked but is an acronym that stands for Budget Authority need and timelines.

So when you're having conversations with people, we're trying to figure out. If they have set, aside a budget to solve the problem. Because if your wedding photographer and your cheapest package, Is 300K. It would be nice to know in the beginning of the conversation, what kind of expectations that the brain has. So if it becomes clear that the bride has expect, if it becomes clear that the bride has their sorry about that.

If I think this is, I think I want to stop making fewer. I'm gonna stop making report cast recordings and amount on the Queue. You don't believe that this guy. Well anyway he tripped and it looked like I was about to hit his head on the floor, and that's why he shot a genie. I mean, I think Shanique Mac both for my God, I think I think that's what it means, my God. Any where was I before? The chimney? Que tiene, que me incident.

Yeah, but okay so wedding photographer. Your cheapest package is 300 K. Now if it turns out that the bride has expectations of 150k for wedding photography, it is best if you know about it now rather than scheduling a meeting for next week and then you find out about it that show you the different ways of bringing up the budget conversation. So back when I was in the wedding space, I used to go ahead and ask the question straight up.

So how much have you guys? How much have you guys are looking? Not a lot of people like asking that question answering that question, because they think you're going to pull a fast one over them. Another one is to give a range to say that wedding photography Services of this kind of quality will cost anything between 300K and 500k. Does that sound about right? Does that budget blend with what you had in mind? But, most other thing was, I

would ask those questions, early, because it's important to get that out of the way before setting up the meeting because it's going to be frustrating for you. For the bride, you should takes time. Off of work on Friday during her lunch break to drive 30 minutes to your studio. And you guys have that meeting. And then it turns out I look, she was thinking more than 50k 200k. But Meanwhile, your lowest packages 400k, the gap between 150,000 error and 400,000 error is too much.

In my own next experience. I would say, there's nothing you can do to take 150k bride and make her pay 400 K. But then again, if she came in and she was thinking 350k about your loss packages for her. Key there might be room, you know, for you to step down or for her to move on up. So we should be having these budget conversations Authority. You need to be sure they are speaking to the right person who can make the decisions.

There's no point in calling a meeting with mrs. Logan and way only to find out that. Mrs. You're getting mate is not the boss, but mrs. Logan and big is the secretary and you know what talking about wealth management? Okay, back to the wealth management example, I think was worth management that I use when I was talking about and I call Old, the name is struggling with, so back to the wealth management thing, if we're talking to mrs.

You're getting with mrs. You're getting basic secretary. There's no Authority and it's a waste of time to call the meeting for Miss Logan and be because she doesn't have the authority to okay everything. No matter how interested she is, will be nice to have the principal they are the meeting, then of course need we all know what need is and then timelines when you can get a sense of what timelines the person has. So back to the Electoral Tribunal, Examples.

Electro tribunals, electron Matters by law in Nigeria have to be settled by a certain date. I can't remember if it's 60 days. I think back when I was in school, it used to be 60 days and then I think maybe 90 days while I'm not sure what it is now. So in that case, there is a clear timeline that one can work with try. Apologies. The queue is moving again. So I'm having to crank up the car and then to drive Okay, so if you're using Bond as a qualifying framework, you're only asking people for meetings that you're sure.

They have a clear sense of the budget, you know, who is responsible for making decisions. We know that there's a need and we have a sense of what their timelines are. Then the chances are that you are not being pushy because everyone can see the value in going ahead. In this case, it only makes sense. So if you're using one need on the Ford, people are going to be willing to hear back from you, if you are going. NG with budget Authority need on timelines.

People be able to see from a practical sense that they ought to take the meeting with you. And the other qualification networks like I mentioned and as you take selling much more seriously, be able to find out some more. So the summary to get rid of this problem of people not wanting to take meetings with you, you should only be having meetings or scheduling meetings with people who see the value of interacting with you if they don't see the value.

Then it's not worth chasing them down to try and explain this. What you try and explain that and of course we have already gone over several ways that you can not only discover this is a valuable Prospect to talk to you but Frameworks that can also help the potential customer gain Clarity in their own mind, that it will be valuable for you to for them to take a meeting with you. So, interested in exploring these sorts of things and coming up with the sales process, how to work through these difficult issues, in sales and one-to-one marketing.

These are the sort of things that we're going to be exploring. Being in the March 27th sales Clinic that I mentioned on the previous episode, where you'd have the opportunity to have personalized sales coaching over WhatsApp. So the details are going to follow soon. And you guys wish me luck. Hopefully, I'll be able to get fuel on time today. So that tomorrow is recording. And for the next couple of days, we should be able to be in my choir recording space at home where we can get value without people.

Shouting chilika me in years. So, thanks for your time and attention. I'll catch you guys at the next recording. I'll catch you guys at the next recording.