The Business of Being a Woman: Skills for Home, Office, and Beyond

This month, March of 2028, sorry, I said 2028, this March of twenty 26th, that was the 8th of March. Yeah, 8th of March, 2020, sixth. I think it's 8th of March every single year. That was International Women's Day. And so of course, you know, I made an episode to commemorate that much earlier. Then let's see what else apart from that, you know, I've been invited to speak, you know, a couple of things so that you know, people can get my own opinion from a sales and business development perspective about what we can do to move womenfolk forward.

Now, one of such speaking engagements was the Elevate Women's International Conference which held at the Pope John Paul the Second Catholic Centre in Abuja. And of course, the theme was Elevate for our rights, Justice and actions. And the event held yesterday, I think 2 days ago. No, yesterday, yeah. So yesterday, that was Wednesday the 25th of March 2025. S Your boy was one of the guys. When I say your boy, of course you know what I mean.

Me, I was one of the people who was up for a panel discussion. Now, unfortunately, I was only asked one question and funny enough, discussing with my wife, I, you know, was one thing I said I wasn't going to say. But The thing is the person who was the moderator of the panel asked me the question. And so this was my response because I was the only man on the panel, you know, at these things, usually it's mostly on all female panels.

So I was the only man on the panel. And so the lady after the moderator, after speaking to the other two people, the first lady on the panel was she's in the tech space. So I know in the tech space, the manufacturing space, the manufacture of solar panels and the manufacture solar panels locally. And I thought, man, that is really impressive. Really, really impressive. I didn't know that we have the manufacturing capacity for solar panels in Niger.

So it was impressive to see a Nigerian woman LED startup. Should we say startup? No, not startup. Well, there's some startup elements, you know, to our business, which are the manufacture of solar panels and I think they get their raw materials from Ogun State. Is it Ogun State or Oshun State? I can't remember, but one of those States and I thought was really, really impressive. Then another lady in the panel was from the non, the non governmental sector and I can't remember which parts of advocacy that they worked on.

So I was the only sales guy didn't put it that way sales guy on the panel. So after the panelists asked the first speaker and the last speaker their own questions, they now you know because they put me in the middle of both women and of course that usual joke of blessed is here amongst women. So anyway they put me in the midst of both women. They asked question, one person answered then jaunt and they asked question 3.

The other person answered because they wanted me to answer last. And then the lady said, it is good that I am here because when these sorts of events happen, they don't usually have menfolk. So it is nice that there's menfolk in the audience. And then the lady asked me A2 power question number one, what are women doing wrong? It would be nice to hear from the menfolk. And then #2 she asked that how can women get get, I can't remember, get respect, you know,

when they're in the room or, or something like that. So, so excuse me recovering from me from the sore throat. Now, of course, you know that in Niger, these situations can get very dicey when you have a symposium, you know, and it's about families, agenda, women's rights, you know, that kind of thing. And then there happens to be a member of the enemy in their midst, a member of the patriarchy. Then you ask them these kinds of questions.

So is it nice issue, but is what I did to take the edge off. First of all, I leaned into the fact when I grabbed the microphone, I told him, OK, you know what? Granted I'm on this stage, I'm the enemy. Granted, I'm a member of the patriarchy, granted, but I told him that look, as I'm here on this stage now normally I for no one talk. But The thing is you guys ask me this question. So this is how we're going to take it.

Just assume that as I'm on this stage, just assume that I am your son and I am your brother, all of you here. You are my mommies, you are my aunties, you are my sisters. So as I'm on this stage now, as I don't climb this stage now, so now would they view me Now, brother, be that, now, son, be that. That's, I suppose, view me. That's why I told them and I reminded her that normally on a family level, sometimes you know, your son will Miss Yan.

All right, your younger brother Gumisian is only a normal something. But now, so family they be, you know, your brother will try and say something. You know, you Misian and Una, go quarrel. We're in the midst of that. The truth will come out. So that's how I told them. I leaned in. I said, look, I'm the enemy. But today, just take me as your son. Take me as your brother. They laugh. I said, OK, no problem. We're making progress.

So. And I told them that, look, one problem that our sisters are making at these events is whenever people come right, it becomes a complaining 1st and they complain. And I admitted women have reason to complain because the injustices that have been levied against women in the past are still continuing today. And given the trajectory, it'd be like, say the thing was to continue for tomorrow and beyond. So they have legitimate reasons to be angry.

Every woman get legitimate reason to be angry. But so one mistake is that when we come for these events, we sit down, we complain, but then we don't make any resolutions about how we're going to move forward, about how we're going to fix this problem. And I told them that one mistake that they don't make is that resource people day from other fields like me that can show up by these kind of things to say this is the way forward.

We want to advance this agenda. OK, no problem. We're going to need selling skills. We're going to need negotiation skills. We're going to need what else, You know, alliance building skills, stakeholder management skills, you know, all kind of skills, conflict resolution skills, let you name. But when people host these events, when I recall resource people to come and talk on these sorts of things, so people show up and the focus is aluta continua, Victoria assata.

And I said no problem. We suppose they shout, we suppose they sing for whatever back whatever. Aluta continua down with the patriarchy, yes, we suppose they sing. But The thing is, you also call resource people so that it's not just a matter of when we get on stage, we do, we go to complain and then there's no way forward. And then I said that, look, because time don't pass because the first speaker spoke for maybe 20 minutes.

The second speaker spoke for maybe 10 minutes. So if two people already don't carry like 20-30 minutes, you know, you know, how much time will I have? So I said look, because time don't go. The only thing I would say is every woman with dad is audience not supposed to get side hustle, not supposed to get business. Not just because of the independence and the money. We will enter your pocket. You understand, all right.

And not just because of the, you know, there's a way that when you earn your own money, you just, it's where you go, you know, you go raise, you go carry shoulder and nobody can tell you nothing. Like for those of you who listen to the podcast, you remember that my sister-in-law was one time she was dating one guy. You know, I wasn't too happy about, you know, some stuff. But you know, that's how love is now. But then, yeah, happened.

And then, you know, they broke up and everything. And the guy was acting funny. And, you know, that whole thing of, oh, I paid for this, I paid for this. And so that's how the thing now became. So after the whole thing settled now I noticed that any small thing my sister-in-law would say I pay my own bills. As you say we have full chest and I was like yes correct. Finally she gets it. I pay my own bills. If I'm paying my own bills, you can't come and tell me nothing.

You can't come and tell me nothing. When you met me I was not suffering. If you leave me I will not suffer. You can't come and tell me nothing, I'll pay my own bills. I said yes, we're done. So that's the reason why my own opinion everyone must suppose get our own business. So then you wish we you will stand on your own 2 legs. I say I pay my own bills. What's come to worst you go value yourself, you go rate yourself, you understand.

So that's one of the reasons. But then I also said that another reason why every single woman should have our own business. It's not just because, excuse me, the confidence we will get to say I pay my own bills, but it's also because you will learn some kind skills that will help you in other endeavors. So like my sister-in-law now you know, these are baking business and these are tutoring business and you know, everything you go learn some skills that will come in handy in the family.

It will come in handy in politics, will come in handy. If my sister-in-law decides she should go into ministry, she won't become, you know, Pastor Apostle, you will come in handy. You understand, selling, negotiating, building alliances, relationship building, building rapport, effective proposals, effective presentations, conflict resolution. Sorry, another call was coming in, but you understand, you hope, you feel me.

I hope you see where I'm coming from. So by virtue of the fact that any woman went inside the business space and would learn one or two teachable skills, your life would better for real. Your life will be better any which way. Even if the business crash, just because you take that step forward, you understand you're moving to the unknown uncharted terrain. You understand you go learn one or two things. Your life go better because you don't learn some transferable skills that will follow you every single day of your life.

I don't know the reasons why I think everyone should do this because see, especially for it's unfortunate, but the women like my own Momsey. You know, life starts off nice, but unfortunately things happen and Momsey was left with five kids. I was the first of five, actually. Biological, true. Then the first of two, but the one with my Mama, you know, You know this part of the world. Now you adopt some kids. So shall we have 5 now when you have 5 kids looking up to you,

you can't be a Princess no more. You understand you also life gets hard, you graft, you grind. So how did I ever enter these talks off? Sorry, forgive me when I talk about these things. You know my my brain just goes in a million places. But Sharon, I'm just trying to say we need learn some skills that will come in handy. You know your areas of life. And that's why I think every woman should have a business or a young woman should start a business at some point, whether the thing succeeds or whether the thing fails.

So from there, that's just how I ended that part. And you know, I didn't mention the part about, you know, mumsy and then the five of us and that's how they gave me small clap and I was happy because I told my wife that look, if I go for this thing and I talk my mind that don't go beat me for that hole. Severe brushing. My wife was laughing and I said look so because of that when I go for this event, the team we do for my chest.

I know we'll talk him. I'll just keep quiet. If they give me a question I'll just answer and nothing more. So what like I told them is because when I don't open the floor you would ask. I said let me answer honestly, but please, I'm speaking as a song. So if there's any woman, you know, any babe, any auntie, any mom, see any grandma, any whatever, who's listening to this podcast and the teens where the yarn they vex you severe vexing everything.

They really, really vex you. I beg just understand that this thing where the yarn I'm coming to you as a son, I'm coming to you as a brother. That's how I'm coming to you because not just me, but also my classmates we plenty. So for me it was, you know, marital discord their mom sees on her own. There's one of my classmates him not call his name, but one of my video guys is only because popsy die, you know, but there are a couple of us men who have had to grow and we have been raised entirely by women.

So sometimes people like us, I think when I recall us allies, people like us allies. It's just that, you know, we're men. So you say our patriarchy enemy. No, no talk. Sometimes we allies. You know, we're coming from a good place. I have been that boy that a woman has five children. She's trying to raise the same thing. We've this my video guy, The mumsy 2. OK, No, these are mumsy 7 kids. The boys 2. Then the babes 5.

We have been those kids. Sometimes when we talk with a bold voice like this, I say my sisters now. So I suppose the wrong one or two things. You know, it's not because we are men trying to mansplain. It's because now on one day we be be king children. We are your children and we're seeing a couple of things that are mommy, maybe we can do better or big sis, I beg, maybe we can do better. Anyway, when I got home, I told my wife my wife was like, oh,

OK, perhaps it went well and to marvid. OK. Maybe the reason why they don't beat me is because lots of people in the audience were, you know, mature women because the conference was attended mostly by if I had the table that I sat down. Once I sat down there, the woman started talking about her grandchildren. And you know, I like to put my wife on cruise. So I told my wife that look, she better be here. Who now I'm going to a woman seminar like babes go die everywhere, everywhere that will take my peek without tall, short big sling, you know, yellow black that will take my peek.

So I like to put my iPhone blast like that makes you know to relax. So as I entered the venue now and I sat down, Luma started talking about her grandchildren. So now I text my wife. I say babe, while I do the only grandma did this place. So no single and correct babe. Everybody did married woman or grandma. So anyway, I was saying, OK, maybe it's because it wasn't much audience. That's why they didn't beat me. So the next time I'm invited to go to this sort of thing, if I

gauge the audience and I see that all of them are young, young babes, you know, 203040, I'll keep my mouth shut because I know that if I say what I said again, in that kind of setting, 2030 year old, I know how to go beat me again, scratch my eye, come out. So anyway, there were a couple of things I wanted to talk about. Couldn't talk about that because I ran out of time. But I'm making today's episode just to let you know that I was at a women's international conference and I happened to answer one question.

Even though I happened, I wanted to talk about a couple of other issues. But please, any woman listening to this thing, please just hear me as your brother and hear me as your son, OK? If there's anything I say that grate your mind, I beg. I'm not trying to mansplain. Please, I'm not trying to mansplain. I was asked and so I answered. Well, of course, always aluta continue Victoria SATA. Because whether it is marriage breakup or whether it is rape or whether it is war or whether it is spousal abuse or whether it is, I mean, whatever it is that is going on, I understand, you know, the woman bears an an unfair part of the brunt, you know, the woman and usually the children.

So Victoria aluta continua, Victoria SATA, you know, we're here for you. I guess what I'm just trying to say is I'm just trying to beg that are some of these events we will throw, you know, yes, we are the enemy. You write some of us. Sometimes we have one or three important things you say. But just in case anybody miss young, just remember this person is talking as a son. This person is talking as a brother. That's the reason why you are comfortable to call us ally.

And when family members fight, you know what you do is you you treat the air pop accordingly. So if anybody miss Young, you will let them know that look, bro or my son, come sit down. You know now. So you miss Young, you understand. All right. Anyway, so that's just it. In the next podcast episode, I will talk about the issues that I thought we were going to discuss if we had more time. So that's it. And that's all for today.

I'll catch you all at the next episode. Oh, by the way, if you want to connect with me, you can call me, send me a text message or a WhatsApp message on 08064662140, just in case you're holding any kind of conference, any kind of seminar, and you would like me to show up and talk to your attendees, talk to your audience, and give my own unique perspective on something, especially from the sales and business development perspective.

So that's it and that's all. Thanks for your time and attention. I'll catch you all at some other episode.