The Hardcore Cold Truth: Why You Hear 'No' A Lot!

Today on the podcast, we're going to be talking about some random ideas about hearing no in sales and in business. So again, we're going to be looking at the idea that when it comes to sales, when it comes to business, you're going to be hearing no a lot. Now let me give you the background to the podcast. Oh, by the way, I'm making today's recording out and about. So you will hear some noise in the background. I'm in the parking lot.

So expect to hear cars, you know, pulling out, pulling in then. Oh yeah. And then my name is Tavishima Ayedi. I'm the host of the podcast. If you'd love to connect with me, you can call, send me a text message or a WhatsApp message on 08064662140. And if you like talking about all these sorts of things, then subscribe to the podcast because, you know, 2-3 times a week, that is what we do over here, talking about how to get customers, how to win sales, how to get people to come back, how to build relationship with customers, you know, those sorts of things.

So like I said today on the podcast, what we're focusing on is this idea about hearing know in business. And this is the background to the context. I watched a video, I mean, somebody sent me a video on LinkedIn and basically was just, you know, the usual kind of conferences that you tech Bros and tech sisters organise where you guys get together, talk to yourselves about sales and marketing. I've always been fascinated by these sorts of gatherings because you'll find out that people who organize these things, yes, they've been successful in, you know,

building one or two startups. And because of that, they come with some not so polished ideas when it comes to sales and marketing. But of course, everybody takes what they say as gospel truth because, well, you know, this guy has built a successful Unicorn, this guy has done this, this guy has done that. So therefore, everything that he says about sales and marketing must be true, right? So today I'm going to use a series of conversations in one of these.

I'm not going to say exactly which conference it was because I don't want to call the people out, but yeah, I'm good. I'm just going to go through the guy's speech. I'm not even going to identify the guy because, you know, his identity is not important. The the event in question, the identity of the event in question is not important. What's important is that, you know, these are ideas that people talk about a lot when tech Bros and tech sisters get together.

So let's start delving into it and see how many of these things make sense or how many of these things check out or how many of these things are false when it comes to a sales and business development perspective. Oh, sorry, one moment my attention is needed. Let me just sort this out and then I'll get back to today's recording. OK, I'm back. Sorry about the brake in transmission because when I started the recording, I was in the parking lot and I was waiting for someone and I didn't know he was going to come that soon.

So he came sooner than I thought. So which is why I had to stop the recording. So the good news is I'm no longer in a parking lot. So the the interruptions should be the noise in the background should be significantly reduced. But still you will hear some noise in the background because I'm in a private residence just recording that. Let me finish up this recording real quick and then I can pay attention to my other payrolls for the day.

So like I said, we're going to be looking at conversations with the tech bro, a YouTube recording for a tech event somewhere in Lagos that held earlier this year. We're a respected tech bro in Nigeria. Said a couple of things about sales and someone sent me the video and that's the reason. Went around a commentary on some of the things that he said. Now, he started off by saying that you're going to hear no a lot when it comes to sales and in business.

In fact, he said it clearly. He said in your sales life, you will hear no, a lot more times that you will hear yes. And he decided that as I was going to start the event to tell his tech brothers and his tech sisters the truth, the hardcore cold truth that you hear no a lot more times than you hear yes. And it's a necessary thing to say when you're talking to tech Bros and tech sisters because you guys are a very optimistic bunch.

And he's good, you know, because you need optimism. You know, when you're starting off, you know, you, you know, you don't enter the hustle as you need optimism to get you going. You need the ginger. But you have to temper the optimism with a dose of realism and with a dose of reality. And the truth of the matter is you will hear no a lot more times and you say then you will hear yes. So the tech bro was absolutely correct.

Now the reason why tech bro on stage and people like me are saying this thing, it's not a we're trying to kill your spirit or we're not trying to dampen your vibe. It's just that if you come in with very high hopes, unrealistic expectations, by the time you hear no one or two times, you know people will use no and boss Basu, you know, you're not stuffing as if like I be, there's a problem with me or my dear socks or I'm just not cut out for this.

And then next thing you go back and start looking for a job. So having the right level of expectations absolutely important when you're starting your business game, starting your sales game, for those of you who are in the tech space, you have a new app, you have a new whatever your fintech idea, you need to have the the right level of expectations. So is it true that you're going to hear no more times that you will hear?

Yes, Yeah, that's true. It's absolutely true. But like I said, the reason why it's not because you suck because people take these things personal. Well, like one of my clients said, she said peas Now that was back when I was in the wedding space. You know, we have different accents from different part of the country. And that was the beauty of her being a wedding photographer because you're photographing brides from different parts of Niger.

And then that's how the bride said, oh, I'm ready for my peas now. I was like a peas now. Now peas now then you think click that she was saying personal. So she was ready for her personal portrait. And anyway, The thing is me and her bride, we ended up fighting. And so since then my wife has been calling that bride pace now she's been calling her pace now saying that that's my girlfriend, that the reason why we're fighting is because we're feeling each other.

Because me, I was thinking she's a fine babe and she's just thinking I'm a correct guy. It's just that me I don't marry and she's so she has found somebody that she wants to marry. So my wife was saying that was some sexual tension. That's the reason why we're fighting like that. So it's a joke in my house. Well, any small thing I would say, why you taking the pace now? So where was I? So some of you guys, you take the pace now, you take it personal when you sat here, you know, but it's not necessarily the case.

The reason why you're going to hear no a lot is because of some simple dynamics. If you listen to Brian Tracy, some of his early stuff, you know, like early, early material, like 1980s kind of early, I think the audio material on the psychology of selling now Brian Tracy says it there that not everybody wants what you have. Not everybody needs what you have and not everybody can afford what you have. So because of that, you should expect that lots of people are going to say no.

Let me repeat, not everybody wants what you have. So I expect them to say no, they don't want it. Some people maybe they kind of want it, but it's not really a need no be priority at the moment. So expect them to say no. And then some people they wanted to and The thing is priority, like they need it now, now, now, now, but Cobo they not get as in Shishi, they're broke, as in no money at all. They can't wrangle the budget.

So except if you want to, you know, milk of human kindness. And so I take a dash you or you discount to to the point where you feel like somebody's taking advantage of you. Except if you want to explore all those routes, expect the person to say no. Now other sales trainers in the field like Brian Tracy, who else? Brian Tracy, Victor Antonio, you know, they talk about urgency. Urgency is the idea that before somebody buys, they need to be in that space where there's an urgent thing that is compelling them, you know, to buy.

So back to the example that I gave about a few episodes ago when I talk about the purple Tesla, Tesla Cybertruck, you know, in Abuja. So let's just assume that I'm flush with cash. And by the way, I'm not. So if any of you want to give me money, you know, I'm open. That's why I give my phone number at the beginning and at the end of every episode because I want you guys to call and give me some money. But let's just assume that I'll flush with cash and I have that 430 M 430 million naira clean ready to buy that purple Tesla cyber truck.

So when I'm cruising down in my electric vehicle, only one in town one day see that purple Tesla, they will know that that tavish might be that. So assume I have that cash ready. I want this car. Yeah. OK. Can I say there's a need? Because I don't think anybody needs a 430 million naira car is not as if he's in need per SE, but I can afford it. In fact, I have 500 M with me. Excuse me, I have 500 M with me. Cash. That means I will buy the car and I'll still keep 70 million change in my pocket.

But then if there's no sense of urgency about it, let's say the reason why I want to buy the car is because maybe we're doing high school reunion, secondary school reunion because I went to Christ the King College, Guangalada in Abuja. That's why I did my GSS. That's junior secondary school for those of you who are not Nigerians listening. Then I did my senior secondary school in Greg's Saint Greg Bridge College, Southwest Eco.

Shout out to all Gregorians listening to this podcast. So you know, now when you're young boys, you understand now like we're all used to form, how will I put it, the gas to form levels. Now you understand, we're coming from different backgrounds, you know, some of us good to form upper class, some of us good to form middle class. And then there's some people that you can't form nothing like you're from a poor background,

you're from a poor background. You can't you can't form anything. So we used to try and situate ourselves like that, you know, and it's normal. So as the trends are changing, you know, all of us trying to flex. So when CK was raining, that's Calvin Klein. You know, we'll try and dress up head to toe CK Calvin Klein shirt covering Klein belt covering Klein jeans covering Klein. So yes, you're a correct guy. And then trends change and the time that it was Tommy Hilfiger,

you're not trying to show up in your your Tommy Hilfiger complete. You should call the hue finger back in those days your Tommy Hilfiger complete. I can't remember if Tommy Hilfiger used to make belts but used to make perfume there then. So you will spray your Tommy Hilfiger perfume. You show up fresh to death as a correct guy. So you know those are the stupid games that we used to play back in those days. Now to form levels and I can see that the thing hasn't stopped.

In fact I feel sorry for secondary school boys now because man, the game has gone nuclear. You see secondary schoolboy carrying Samsung Fold phone that is 2.5 million man. The level of flexing, the level of dunking on people that they do nowadays is on another level. I'm happy I didn't go to secondary school during this period because man, I would have cried. You show up with your Nokia, me or your classmate, the flex on V4, it's not easy.

Anyway, where was I? I lost my train of thought. So like I said, now. So that's how we used to flex in those days. Now, of course, normally now those some people who are on top of the food chain, like back when I was in CKC, that's my junior secondary school. All those Abuja children, Minister of Extended Affairs, those are the people that used to travel. Anyhow, it's our wish you could. You didn't hear? No, I didn't hear what happened.

And they posted their family to Washington DC, OK. They after a while, you see you put in town again. Yeah, we're just passing through as I am passing through how what happened And we've been reassigned to Israel small time which could be the guys in Italy just traveling up and down traveling anyhow. So now those Ministry of External Affairs kids, those guys you know do on top of the food chain. So maybe now you have been living with that beef in your mind that this Ministry of External Affairs children I will show them, I will show them there.

Now eventually you are in that situation where you have excess cash, surplus cash. Now you will call meeting for you know, you know how you do it now 2008 set 1995 set this set that set you will now call meeting and you want to pull up and kill everybody. You just show up in that purple Tesla cyber truck so that when they see you don't know that this guy don't make up. This guy is 1 in town. This guy is the king after God.

Now this guy nobody else. So I know it sounds silly what I'm saying, but for some people, that's just a sense of urgency that they need. This meeting is coming up or this contract is coming up. This situation is coming up. If I pull up, I guess to pull up, correct? So for some people, that's just the sense of urgency that they need any answers to sell us not to judge with sense of urgency is realistic or not, but basically somebody can want something needed, can afford it.

I can have 500 million naira cash sitting under my bed right now, but if there's no sense of urgency to buy that Tesla Cybertruck, there's no sense of urgency, I'm not going to buy it. And in that case, if you're selling that, that, that kind of car, expect me to say no. So excuse me. So you can see that people are going to say no for a whole bunch of reasons, then plenty. So sitting down, feeling sad, trying to figure out, is it me?

It's not worth the hassle. There's sometimes when people say no because it's your problem and that's because you're targeting was off targeting in the sense of are you approaching people who are your ICPICP meaning ideal customer profile. You know your ideal audience. Are you talking to the right people? Sometimes you're approaching the wrong person. You're approaching people who might never want, might never need, can never afford, even if you sell them and their whole family will never be able to afford, not even talk of urgency.

So yes, sometimes the problem is yours because you're talking to the right people. Or sometimes your targeting is that you're in the wrong environment or in the wrong context. And I've given an example about how in my wedding photography days, there's one parish in Abuja that I was using my own reasoning that this is a big parish. Now, if I go here, I'll be talking to brides where they have good, good money, people that will be talking, you know,

400,500 thousand, not 150. But as I showed up in that parish, the things that I saw when I tried to market my, excuse me, market myself as a young wedding photographer, people were pricing me 150 Ki say big parish like this. I realized that I was in the wrong neighborhood after three, three or four Fridays, 'cause I used to go and do my marketing on Fridays. After three or four Fridays, I gave myself sense and I said,

look, I can't stay in this parish and find something sweet. I have to locate myself in another environment where I can start hearing good money. So in essence, sometimes there's some people are saying, no, it's your fault, you're talking to the wrong people or you put yourself in the wrong context. In that case, the solution is simple. Just like me, I removed myself from that parish and I went to other parishes where I studying figures.

That makes sense, where if you tell somebody 300, they will shake, They'll say how about 2:50 or you tell somebody 400, they'll say, well, that sounds just about right. Then I was like, hey, I have found my space, let me remain here. Oh, by the way, I don't do wedding photography anymore, so I don't know how much people charge nowadays. So please, wedding photographers, you know, no vex. If the numbers I'm calling are small by today's standards,

understand that I'm no longer in the field. So where was I? OK, I lost my train of thought. So sometimes, yeah, it might be your fault because your targeting has been off, you've been talking to people who are not your ICP or you have been in the wrong environment. Now, another reason why people say no is because how I put it, OK, there's this thing that is called market validation. That's what Gary Vaynerchuk calls it.

And then you tech Bros and Texas, as you guys like, call it product market fit. Now the idea behind market validation or product market fit is this. You have a product or service, you have a brand new app, your, you know, fintech idea, whatever that you're trying to bring to the market because you believe that you have discovered a problem that is significant. So now one is normal down is normal. Like if you did not cover a problem, like why are you even in the market?

So you can cover a problem. But The thing is, there are some problems that some people don't, people think are not worth paying for. OK, Some. Can I give OK my sharpener? I'm looking at my son's sharpener right now. While he's one of the sharpeners that I gave him. It's a, it's this kind of sharpener that is mostly used by architects. I can't remember the name of the brand, but I think it's real fancy. It's really sturdy.

And then it fits into a container and then you use your hand and then turn it, you know, and then it sharpens the pencil and then all the dirt is collected in the bottom of the container. So yeah, in Nigeria, you know, parents would just buy ordinary sharpener. Some people who have fancy will buy that kind of sharpener. But you know, this automatic sharpener, the one that is battery powered, you just put the pencil inside, then anything will now do.

And then the thing will sharpen the pencil by itself. You know, half a second, just do your pencil, don't sharpen. Have you noticed that nobody in Nigeria is buying a sharpener? None. Even the parents of the kids, the parents make gay money, even they do not buy that one because in this part of the world, my son needs a sharpener, my daughter needs a sharpener. Yes, that's a problem, but it's not that significant a problem.

So which one? You're now giving me automated pencil sharpener. So it's a problem over here. Children's pencils need sharpening. But in this part of the world, people don't think it's that big a deal. Like it's not that deep. No be sharpener. In fact, in some households they've given up on sharpeners. It's razor that they use. Like me. I got tired of the sharpeners packing up, so I just went and bought a pen knife and I told him, look, you need this thing sharpened.

Give it to me. I just use my trusty pen knife. Sharpen all your pencils and here you are. You're done for the whole week. I've sharpened all your pencils. Go. And prosper. So if there's a problem in the market and you explore the problem, but it now looks as if there's no market validation, there's no product market fit as in there's a problem, there's a demand for the problem to be solved, but the problem is not that much, is not that big of a deal.

People know who drop back, they won't drop money to solve that problem because it's a problem, but it's not that big a deal. Then expect people to say no because unfortunately for you, it's a problem. But people are not willing to pay money for that. So expect people to say no. You have not been able to establish product market fit. You have found a problem, you have brought a solution and you have seen that there is some demand and the demand is significant, but they're not willing to pay the price That is enough for you to stay in business.

You have not achieved market validation of your idea. You have not achieved product market fit. The market doesn't think this is a problem worth paying for. In that sense, expect people to say no. But like you can see people are going to say no for lots and lots and lots of reasons. So the main point here is don't take it personal. Was my life. We say don't take it pays now, don't take keep pace now at all. It has very little to do with you, very little.

So usually the problems are around your targeting. Are you talking to the right people? Are you in the right place or your value proposition? Is the value proposition significant enough or not for people to engage and to buy? So the tech bro is absolutely correct. I've said it on the podcast before, one of the listeners when she reached out, you know, she laughed about it. But I'll say it again because it's true, because, you know, in Nigeria, we have a premium here on being academically on point.

So back in the day, and I think even now self, I still see that kind of thing, you know, the rush to carry first, make sure you have the perfect CGPA, make sure you have the perfect test scores and everything. But unfortunately, school is not real life, especially for those of us in Niger, you know where they expect excellence. In our schools, we expect excellence. So school is not real life. You can get 100% in your test scores, every single subject,

100 percent, 100%. But in business, no, you can't get 100%. In business, it is not possible. But because 100% in business is not possible, it doesn't mean if you get worried, it doesn't mean you can't succeed. You can't succeed because you actually just need to make traction with one idea, one or two ideas over the course of your life. You can make traction in one or two things. You'll be fine. You need to score 100% on every single thing.

Take for instance Steve Jobs, three companies associated with three companies, Apple and Next and then Pixar Animation. So Apple, well, that company was successful. Pixar, yeah, Pixar became successful. But Next, arguably some people say Next was a flop. So the guy tried three ideas, 2 clicked, and I say that that's OK. He didn't need 100%. Two out of three is what's that? Is that 6? Is that 66 percent, 66%? And he was doing OK.

He didn't get 100%. Now with it. Now we have tried lots of stuff. One of them that didn't work was juice, because I remember then I was doing my NYC back then. I was in Kano, Yeah, when the juice came out, I think was, I can't remember the name of the juice and the guy tried. You see that parties, you see that weddings, you know, But man, the thing just didn't move. So it failed. But a couple of things I worked out. The cement thing seems to be working out very well for Dangote.

I think the time when he used to be a transporter like in the transportation business, I think that one didn't work out too well. Let's see what else. The refinery. The refinery seems to be working out well. And then he wants to open up a port. We'll see how the port works out or not. But basically, you know, Dank is not 100%. There's some things that failed Warren Buffett. Warren Buffett says you'll need a few home runs to win the game.

You don't have to score big every time. Also a few home runs. And depending on who you ask, some people who say that he's only successful where Buffett was only successful in about 40%. I'll be 50% of the stuff that he invested in Bush are. That 40 or 50% is what is responsible for him earning billions and billions and billions. Crazy one. Buffett didn't get 100%. He didn't, not in business. And then in your business journey, you're going to hear something about the 8020

principle or Paretos law. I prefer to, there's some people who say the law of unequal returns. That's what I prefer to use because some people who say 8020 is not really 8020. They were going to show that in some industries more like 7030. And I'm like, look, the, the, the ratio is not the point. Whether it's 6040 or 8020 or 7030 is not the point. The point is this, that most of your returns that you get in business will come from a very small core of activities.

And that's what the 8020 principle is about, that 80% of your money, 80% of your profits are going to come from 20% of your customers. So you don't even have to score 100% in customers if you're able to just select the right core of customers, the right group of customers and do a good job with seven, with 20% of them, that 20% will be responsible for 80% of the profits that you make. And Please remember, don't go around argue with anybody that is not 8020.

Yes, there are some places where I think the person that came up with this thing, Pareto himself, I think when he was doing his research, I think for Italy, for landed property, I think was more like 6040 or something. Now 40% of your returns will come from, sorry, 60% of your returns will come from 40% of the land you own or something like that. So it's not about the ratio, it's not about 802060407030. The idea is the big impact, the big money, the life changing money that you will make.

It will come from a small core of customers or a small group of a small idea or small, you know whatever. So summary you will hear no most of the time, but don't let that know where you down. We are only looking for is few small yeses. I repeat, we are only looking for a few small yeses. When you hear the no, we should try and do some introspection to try and figure out what was wrong, what didn't work so that we can improve upon our conversions.

The idea is when you start out and you try and toast 10 people to buy your product or your service, maybe only one person will buy. Don't let the nine who didn't buy weigh you down. What can you learn from that experience of selling with the one? Then what can you also learn from the experience of losing out on the 9:00 so that you can improve your conversions so that next week if you talk to 10 people, maybe 2 will buy overtime, 3 will buy overtime, 4

will buy. As your conversions improve, your lot in business will also improve. But know that there's no 100% when it comes to business. When it comes to sales or business, there's no 100%. Some of you will now point me to was his get Amazon. See Amazon, That's an outlier. The man started one business and he scored 100% on one business. And yes, but that's an outlier. That is the reason why when it comes to this thing, he's the only name you can call.

Who else again, scored 100% who else? So please, those of you who talk about Amazon, what's his name again? What's his name? The founder of Amazon, he would talk about, OK, give this thing a recipes. That is not that is not usual. That is an outlier. That is a, you know, flashing the pan. It's not, I'm not saying he was lucky. I'm just saying that that is not how typically we expect things to be. It's like back when we were growing up in the 80s.

Back then you disorder. You are tall to say this girl will play basketball, but you know, no, be sure it's not all of us who are tall that ended up being good basketballers. So yes, there is that one boy that you know in your school who was tall and turned out to be a magician with the basketball. But you know, that's just an outlier. It's not the usual. So excuse me. OK, 30 minutes. Let me just wrap it up. So that's it.

On this first set of conversations, the tech bro was correct. So if you attend any event and the tech bro stands on stage or a tech sister stands on stage and they tell you that expected here. No, most of the times, most of the time they're absolutely correct. So that's it. And that's all for today. Thank you very much for listening. Remember, if you'd love to connect, you can call, send me a text message or WhatsApp message on 08064662140.

Thank you very much for your time and attention. I'll catch you guys some other time.