Why Are They Ignoring Me? Understanding Client Silence

Hello, and welcome to the show. I'm coming to you guys live and on the move, so expect to hear some interruptions in the background. Now, before we begin, I'd like to shout out Bolu Tunji. She discovered the podcast recently and has been listening. She left a comment on Spotify and she's a career person. She's been involved in human resources for a while, and she would like for me to make an episode around hats and fascinators, you know how to get into that business.

So yeah, that's the comment that she left on Spotify. So I responded. And just in case you're listening, Balu, Yeah, sure, I'd love to do that. But then send me a WhatsApp message on 08064662140, country code +234, just in case you're one of those folks listening in from Diaspora. So send me a message so that we can chat some more. Let me know some more about your particular context. You know, so that would help with the podcast episode.

So shout out to Balu Trinji. Thank you very much for listening to the show. And yeah, reach out to me and let's see how we can make that podcast episode happen. But anyway, for those of you who are in Balu situation, you're thinking of starting a business, it'll be helpful to note that yesterday's podcast recording was essentially a framework or a template for how you can get involved in whatever business that you want to, so long as you can answer 3 main questions.

Number one, select the right idea for the business #2 what was number 2 again? Number one, select the right idea #2 yes. Is the market feasible? Want to make sure that the market is feasible, It's something that is profitable, that there is actually demand, that you can achieve product market fits, that you can get market validation. You know all those things. Because if there's no demand and if the market thinks your idea is terrible, then there's no how you're going to be successful in that business.

And then #3 can we build a selling framework around the idea? So Bolu Trunji, reach out to me. We'll still have that conversation anyway. But essentially, this is the thought process. We want to make sure that it is the right idea #2 we want to make sure that the idea is feasible, that the idea is profitable, and that there's market demand. And then #3 we want to see if we can build a selling framework around it. It's only when those three things line up that then we have the green light and then we can go ahead.

Then after that, we can worry about business name registering, getting TIN number, what else should we get studio location for making the hats or whatever. So yeah, that's it. Shout out to Balu. Now for today's episode, I'd like to respond to something that I saw on Instagram. Now, I've already made some, some podcast episodes in the past talking about how those of us who are service providers, you know, when we go online, I

will start bashing our clients. It really doesn't serve any useful purpose because first of all, I don't think our clients are there listening to what we have to say anyway. But even if they are, it makes us come across as unprofessional. So no matter what the issue is, we need to take, we need to own up that, you know, what big boys, what big girls, what sales professionals here, no matter what business you're involved in.

So we need to take responsibility for the situation and try to see how we can make things better rather than throwing the blame on other people. It just doesn't make us look good. So in this Instagram video in particular, the title of the video was real estate aid. Sorry, real estate clients stop doing this. That is what got me interested. Like, oh, OK, so now Realtors are trying to scold their clients over on the Internet.

So OK, now hello, let me watch that video. So it's titled real estate clients stop doing this. So it was a warning that was given by a Nigerian realtor and she was talking about situations where the prospect initiates contact. You know, the prospect is someone who might need your product or service. You know, you guys are still talking is toasting phase. Well, you don't know whether things are serious yet or not. So the prospect initiates contact and then they show up for physical inspection.

They go and inspect the land, they go and inspect the house, they go and inspect whatever. And then after the inspection is done and the realtor calls them to, you know, find out how far the prospect or the client will now either go to them or block them. Now the lady's take this video was that when clients do this, now the problem is with the clients. Now the clients are being immature because there's no point in ghosting and blocking because instead of blocking the client, you just come straight out and say that look, this is a problem, or I don't want to go with you, or I want to delay the project or whatever.

So the realtor who made this video was of your opinion that the problem is with the client and that potential client should behave better. So that was the whole point of the video. But remember what I said this washing our dirty linen in public, it serves us no good. And for and for potential clients who are watching this thing, I don't think it really inspires confidence in US. So I really think service professionals, we should stop doing this.

You know, accountants coming online to school to their clients, real estate agents, lawyers, business consultants, you know, whatever really should stop doing this. Well, anyway, that was the crux of the whole video, that if you, the client, are the one who reached out first and he went for physical inspection, don't ghost, don't block, be polite and behave better. So is the problem really that our potential client should behave better?

In a sense, maybe because we all could learn how to be polite, we all could do better and learn how to be cautious, and we all could do better and learn how to be civil. Well, the problem is not really with the clients at the end of the day. The problem is that a lot of Realtors have faulty sales processes. There are lots of sales. There are lots of Realtors who don't even know that you should have a sales process. When you have a sales process and a sales framework, it guides you through all the possible interaction points and all the possible problems that might occur, and it gives you a sense about how to solve these things,

how to diagnose what the problem is. So for someone who has a sales process, being ghosted or being blocked is not a problem. Now when the prospect initiates a contact, if we want to, OK, let me just pick your framework. Now, Tom Hopkins, old school sales trainer in America, is even good at using Tom Hopkins. So because Tom Hopkins is a real estate person, so those of you who are listening to this thing now and you've never heard of Tom Hopkins before and you're a realtor in Niger, you're a housing agent in Niger, you're a whatever you call yourself in Niger, go to YouTube or go to Amazon or go to Google and type in Tom Hopkins.

He is one of you. Then download his material, buy his material, pirate his material, whatever, and go and learn it. He is one of you. Now, Tom Hopkins talks about sales involving 2 stages #1 is buyer resistance and then buyer acceptance. Buyer resistance is a stage where people are kind of uptight. They don't want to loosen up. They don't want to let you know how far. They don't want to say anything because they're afraid of being taken advantage of.

That one is normal. And then buyer acceptance is when everything is loose, we're all cool, we're all vibing, we're all flowing. We're now trying to just get them know that look, this problem that you have, I can help you solve it. And this is how. So Tom Hopkins says that the very first thing we should be doing when we meet people is we need to get people to calm down. We need to get rid of buyer resistance first and foremost.

A lot of you Realtors, because the person is one that reached out to you first, you just assume that oh, OK, the original what's up, You know, go and arrange housing site inspection. Like who told you everything is cool? You just assumed that everything is cool and that's the reason why you're angry that the person is goes to you and blocked you. There's still some things on the person's mind, but you don't have a process and a framework for trying to uncover what the problem is.

And because of that, you're calling to follow up in a way that is not adding value and you're difficult to talk to. So the average Nigerian doesn't want to be rude to tell you get away. I'm not buying. That's the reason why they're blocking you and that's the reason why they're fading and that's the reason why they're ghosting. You need to come up with the sales framework, with the sales process, something that is well tested and trusted and that can help you problem solve all things.

Go and look for Tom Hopkins material. He's also a real estate agent. You guys will learn a lot. So for Tom Hopkins, there's four processes that are involved in sales. Oh, sorry. Yeah, 4 processes basically or other 4 dynamics that are involved in sales. There is trust, there is need, there is help, and there is hurry. Let me repeat for Tom Hopkins. There is trust, there is need, there is help, and there is hurry. There's some of you Realtors who have been doing real estate for 10 years.

You people have never heard of this thing today. Today is the first time you're hearing this thing. In fact, some of you are not even aware that any kind of frameworks exist at all. So let me repeat for Tom Hopkins, the dynamics involved Trust, need help and hurry. In other words, the person that is approaching you, the person who wants to buy a house, the person who wants to rent house, the person who wants to buy land, the person who wants to sell land has to be able to trust you.

Then you have to be able to decipher the needs of the person who wants to sell land, buy land, rent house, sell house. You have to be able to determine the person's need. Then eventually you have to be able to show that you can help the person to buy land, sell land, rent house, buy house or otherwise dispose of the house and then hurry. Hurry is where you get the person to take action and you try and inject some sense of urgency to move things along.

So again, for Tom Hopkins, a realtor, a real estate agent, real estate sales, Nigerian Realtors, go on Google, go on Amazon, go on, go on YouTube, go on pirate, go on download. Tom Hopkins, you should be paying attention to trust, to need to help and to hurry. Tom Hopkins recommends that you follow that process in that order. Now, when somebody shows first in your front or in your shop, the first thing is we need to settle trust.

After we get them to trust us, then we're going to need. After we're going to need, then we're going to help. After we're going to help, then we'll help. We'll move into hurry. And then if we run into any problem in the sales process, it means we have not done a good, a good enough job with steps one and two, which is trust and need. So whenever there's a problem, we go back to trust and we go back to need is either they don't trust us or we have diagnosed their needs wrongly.

For those of you who have had difficulty dealing with Nigerian doctors, you understand what I'm saying. You go to a doctor, you feel as if the doctor is not paying your attention. You don't like what the doctor is saying. What do you do? You go and ask your friends for recommendation and you go to another hospital. It's the same thing. It's the same dynamic. Now, remember what I said, that Tom Hopkins divides the process into two, which is sales resistance and then sales acceptance.

The first two trust and need. If you get them to trust you and you diagnose their needs well, Tom Hopkins says that their resistance will go down. They will now be calm and they'll now start talking to you and they'll now start telling you the truth. That is the stage where somebody will be honestly that look gross. To be honest. My budget is my budget won't pass 35 or won't pass 3.5. I won't lie you 3.5. That's all I have.

Until you get to that stage of obliterating trust and need, most people are not going to let you give you a fair sense of what the budget is. And if they see something that is too expensive, rather than tell you it's too expensive, they will fade, they will block, they will ghost, they will ignore, they will do whatever. So trust and need. Now, Tom Hopkins says that for this situation where the prospect is the one that comes to you first, you're not the one that ran after the prospect.

What you do is you pay attention to need first before you move into trust. So in case you guys haven't figured out, whenever I talk about qualification and discovery on the podcast, which is you're talking about the person, the problem, the opportunity, the vision, you can see how it doesn't matter who you follow, whether you listen to me or they listen to Tom Hopkins, you're going to end up doing some version of these sorts of things.

So when the prospect comes to you first, you go straight into need. Who is this person? What is the problem? What is the opportunity? What is the vision? So for you Realtors, you try and get a sense of the person. You try and fill them out, try to understand their stage in life. Because if somebody like me wants to buy land, it's not quite the same thing as if my mom wants to buy land. You know, my mom is 65. If she's buying land, she's probably thinking of buying land as something that might be a good, what's it called?

I can't remember something that is a legacy. My mom's probably, if she wants to buy land now at 65, she's probably thinking legacy, something I can bequeath to my grandkids. It's not the same thing as me who's trying to buy land now because I'm trying to buy land now. I'm probably thinking of buying land so I can sell it sharply so that, you know, I can have maybe 10 M on hand so that I know that maybe for the next three or four years, you know, school fees is taken care of or something like that.

So should be asking questions about them, the problems they're facing, the opportunity or the vision that they're looking towards. Are they, is it home ownership that they have in mind? Some people want to buy land so that they can build house or is investment opportunity. Some people want to buy land so that they can flip, as in buy it now, maybe fence it and maybe do interlocking tiles. OK, the land is now looking much more valuable now sell it, that kind of thing.

If it's an investment portfolio, we need to be asking questions about, you know, their timelines, about risk profiles. We need to even know what kind of investment vehicles they prefer because some people prefer rent. Let me buy and rent this thing out, or let me rent and then let me sublet, or let me buy at 5:00 AM and then let me flip. Buy it at 5:00 AM, wait for a while or maybe fix it up and then sell it at 7:00 AM and I'll put 2:00 AM in my pocket.

He has some questions about their investment history, about their track record, about the locations that they have in mind. While you are having this conversation, in trying to figure out their need, can you see that their trust in you will be going up? Because you sound like a reasonable somebody who knows what's up. If somebody just comes and says I want to buy land in Maitama, my budget is 30 to 50 million. And you say, OK, no problem, Ma,

we have land in Maitama between the budget of 30 to 50 million. How soon are you available? And then the woman says Monday morning, 8:00, it's OK, Monday morning, 8:00, Ma, I will take you. Then you go and you show her five plots of land. And then Wednesday, you call her. She says, let me think about it. Friday, you notice that she has blocked you. I mean, like, why won't she block you? Have you said or done anything that has given her a reason to trust you or to even get a feel of who you are as another human being?

But if when she called up first and you went straight into need, remember, Tom Hopkins says that it is trust. Need help and hurry? Again, trust. Need help and hurry? Except when the person comes to you first, like the woman who comes as his own to buy land in Maitama. You start first with need and then we worry about trust dynamics before we enter into help and hurry. So when she comes and you say, oh Hajj, OK, sure, no problem.

Yes, we have properties that suit that time, that meet that criteria. And then you now start asking questions about who she is, about the problem. Remember, we're talking about investment criteria. If you ask, oh, Madam, by the way, this land that you want to buy, is it because you want to use it as investment or is it something that you want to build on? By the way, the answers that she gives you will determine if you say she buys, that she's buying.

She wants to buy because it's something she wants to build. You now know that. OK, those parts of Metama that are kind of almost close to the Bush that you can't even call them a Tama anymore. Perhaps those are not the kind of places that you're going to show her. Maybe you show her places that are more central, closer. And but what I'm trying to make is this by time, start asking her questions. Oh, Madam, is it for ownership or investment?

Always investment. OK. What timelines do you have? Are you looking at something that you buy now and you're hoping that it will appreciate maybe in the next two or three years or something? Like, you know, you real estate agents, you know the questions you're supposed to ask. Engage this person in the conversation and ask all these questions as you're engaging in conversation. You're trying to figure out the timeline.

You're trying to figure out the risk profile. You're trying to figure out their preferred investment vehicle. Also, ask them about their investing history. Oh Madam, have you bought land before? I figure out what their track record has been. Which locations have they bought in? By the time you're having these conversations, you're getting to know more about them. The person is beginning to trust you because they feel listened to.

They feel seen, heard and validated. And by the way, when you ask all these questions, it is then that if you take her to five properties, the five properties that you show her are most likely going to hit the spot. If somebody calls on Sunday and says, are you available, I want to look at properties on Monday, and you say yes, what is your budget? That's the only question you ask when you're showing her places is hit and miss.

You don't know what it is that she likes. You don't know. But at least if you sit somebody down, OK, well the person called if you calm the conversation down, I start asking a bunch of questions over the phone. You will now know I told you guys about when I was looking for a house. We've already moved now. And the realtor that asked me questions, there was one place I wanted to see. And he he kept telling me that boss, that place, you won't like it.

I said shall let me see because it was within my budget. But then by the time I went there, as we were driving there, truly, truly I did not like it. The house was beautiful, it was wonderful, but for me the location was off. The reason why that guy could tell me straight up that Luke brush don't bother about this house. It looks very clean, it's brand new. It is nice, it is state-of-the-art is everything, but you won't like it is because me and him had been flowing and he would get a sense of who I

am, who my wife is. Yeah, come around. And he had seen the kids. And so he just kind of knew that, OK, for this kind of person, this thing will work. Even though this house is below the guys budget and the house is state-of-the-art. If you show up and you show somebody a bunch of houses and none of them look sweet or none of them meet the person's criteria, of course they're not going to pick up your, your, your, your phone call.

And of course, they will block you or they will ignore you because you didn't show them anything that was that was sweet to them. The only way you will know what is Sweeting the the person is if you're engaged this person in conversation. So back to Tom Hawkins. When they reach out to you first, the very first thing to do is need you go straight into need analysis and engage them in conversation. It's not a matter of OK, Ma, we have things that match your budget.

Are you free Tuesday morning? Let's go and start looking at property. Apart from all these questions, that's what we need analysis around, whether it is investment or home ownership and then trying to figure out other things. We also need to have the budget and the bracketing conversations. I need to ask them upfront and do some trial closes. Oh Madam, properties or land that match XYZ criteria usually have an asking price of between ABC and DEF.

Is that an investment that you're willing to make? You ask and then you hear this is giving you a sense of how serious or how urgent is giving is giving you a sense of intent. If you do some trial closes now. OK, Madam, if I understand you correctly, you're looking for ABZ and you're looking for it at XYZ price and it meets DEF criteria. If I can show you three that we have next week Wednesday, like how soon do you think you'll be ready to take action?

That's your trial close and then you ask. It is also giving you a sense of the final age, which is sorry, the final to help and hurry. So you should also be using some trial Closings. Now, the rationale of all this grammar that I'm saying is if you do not understand the needs of whoever it is that has come to meet you, that they want to buy land, they want to buy a house, they want to sell, they want to rent, they want to whatever.

If you don't understand their needs, if you don't understand their buying criteria, if you haven't established a budget and you don't have a sense of a timeline, the risk of them ghosting you is high. I'm telling you here for free, you Realtors. I think the, the, the, the client is the problem. The client is not the problem. You don't have a process for understanding their needs, for figuring out their buying criteria, for establishing a budget, and for figuring out their timeline, because you don't have the problem with that process.

A lot of this stuff that you're showing them is crap. Remember, when we talk about values from the client's point of view, you might think all of these things are valuable, but as far as the client is concerned, they saw crap and you're not adding value. That's why they ignore you and they're ghosting you. So slow things down, keep listening to my podcast. It doesn't even have to be me. Go and follow anybody you like in the podcast world or on YouTube.

Although for Realtors, especially those of you who keep going online to complain, I would recommend that you go and do Tom Hopkins. Some of you say it's old. Look, there's no matter of old here. So yes, the man has been doing it from 60 something to 70 something, but it doesn't matter. The framework is tried, is tested, is trusted. It's yeah, it's not sexy. But The thing is, it's it works. Somebody comes to you. It's very simple.

What stage are we at? Sales resistance or sales acceptance? Why sales resistance? OK, the first thing to do is to calm this person down. When the person is calm and the person is loose, the person is relaxed. We have vibing, we have rapport, then we'll be able to get the sale moving. So I need to get them to trust me. I need to figure out what their need is. If it is a first time caller, the person is now calling in. OK, I need to go.

Let me not waste time. Go straight into need analysis. While we're doing need analysis, the trust dynamics to sort themselves out. After that, we can move into, OK, how can I help you? Then you make a proposal and then we try and hurry this thing along. Please Realtors be using trial closes along the way. We'll let you know because if you do a trial close where you say, OK, Madam, if I understand you correctly, we're looking for this at this price, meeting this criteria.

If I can show you 3 next week, how soon are we ready to take action at that stage? Madam, can I say, Oh my dear, is not is, is not dreaming like that too? I just wanted to find out just in case because I'm thinking I should be retiring soon. So maybe like next year or maybe like 2-3 years. You know, I'm just asking just in case, at least now, you know, and that kind of person, after you show her places on Monday, you know that you're not going to start blowing up her phone Wednesday through to Friday because she's not reasonably close to making any decision anytime soon.

This is why trial closes are going to help you. So that is one framework. Tom Hopkins, I came across Brian Tracy 1st and Brian Tracy one in his old stuff. I was spoken about how when you're interacting with people, you need to try and figure out need, want, afford and urgency. Need want, afford and urgency. Because if you're able to establish what people need or what they want, what they can afford, and you're dealing with people who have a sense of urgency, then the chance of you ending up with people who ghost you is low.

See, I can keep on going on and on and on and on and on. You know, it will take forever. That's the reason why I'm saying that just anything that sounds reasonable to you, just take it and start applying it. But bottom line is get a framework. What very, very, I say to thee, if somebody's ghosting you, it's probably because as a realtor, the things you showed them that we're not interested in it, The things that seems a little maybe semi interesting, they don't really need it.

They don't really want it. And you show them a bunch of stuff that they can't afford. Even if they need it, they want it, they afford it and they have some interest. Maybe there's no sense of urgency. The problem, please, is not with the potential customers. Yes, we could all be nicer and yes, we could all stop being rude, but The thing is, you as the professional take responsibility for moving your business forward and stop waiting on other people to start acting mature.

If you're going to wait for other people to act mature before your business will progress, then I'm I'm sorry for you because there are lots of idiots out there in the market. So ignore the idiots, you just come up with your own guidelines, your own processes, your own frameworks and take responsibility for moving your business forward. Anyway, that's the end of my rants today. But please, service professionals, I'm begging all of you, especially Nigerian service professionals, wedding photographers who make videos abusing brides, real estate agents are making videos abusing clients.

Like when will this madness stop? Can we be professional please? We're not inspiring confidence. We're not inspiring trust, we're not inspiring a sense of professionalism from our potential customers. And you wonder why they look at us anyhow. And they talk to us anyhow when we we don't even show some regard for ourselves. Please, people, stop making these kind of videos. I understand the frustration, but stop making these kind of videos.

You're not helping. Take responsibility for moving your business forward. You'll be OK if you're a real estate person. Tom Hopkins yes, Don't worry that The thing is from 1976. Don't just go and listen and trust me, the thing makes sense. Listen, write down a bunch of stuff and then apply and you'll be all right. So if you'd love to connect just like Balu Tunji, then connect with me on WhatsApp. The number is 08064662140,

country code +234. So do that if you want me to answer some questions, if you want a business audit or a strategy session, you can also connect with me on LinkedIn. The name to look for is Tavishima IED and then have a YouTube channel the same name, Tavishima IED where you can find all the videos. If I, if you do that, if I, if you go to YouTube, self subscribe to my channel and then search Tavishima and then search Tom Hopkins.

Just put it as one search. You will see the videos that I have made commenting in detail on Tom Hopkins processes. If you want to do that as an introduction first, just to soften you up before you now start consuming Tom Hopkins. You know the man himself because since he's talking to sales professionals, maybe if you're a beginner and that's the first time you're listening to it, maybe it might be too heavy for you to consume.

Anyway, that's all for today. I'll catch you guys in the next episode.